GROWING IN RECOVERY

Recovery from using mood altering chemicals and behaviors is a lifelong journeyaccomplished one day at a time. Growth in recovery occurs when we surrender that we can no longer remain abstinent without help and immerse ourselves in a recovery program. Honesty and humility are essential and represent the beginning changes for a new life.??

Prochaska, DiClemente, and Norcross created the stages of change or transtheoretical model in 1983 to better define the processes of change in recovery.?These stages allow us to determine where we are in journey in recovery.?

Stage 1: Precontemplation

In the first stage our abuse is causing problems, but we are not considering any change.?“Ignorance is bliss” and even if we sometimes have brief thoughts we quickly dismiss them.?In my precontemplation stage I only thought about myself and what I thought my needs were.?I had little concern for my behavior and blocked out any discomfort for fear I would be exposed for the drunk I was. This only made matters worse and my problem escalated.?

Stage 2: Contemplation

In the second stage our abuse has become more advanced, and we begin to see there may be a problem, but we are not ready to seriously consider making any changes in the immediate future.?By this time, I was starting to binge and was neglecting my family, my employer and was very selfish.?My family suffered because they never knew if I was going to come home.?If I did work it was only briefly in the early morning before the joints I hung out in opened.?I was admitted to the hospital twice and was diagnosed with acute addiction but was reluctant to accept that it was a major problem.?

Stage 3: Preparation

In the third stage “we test the waters” and start making some effort to change.?As alcoholics and addicts we most likely are reluctant to completely surrender because we have relied on the chemicals or behaviors to shield us from accepting reality.?I started going to AA meetings because my wife asked me to get help but did not stop drinking.?I remember that my longest abstinence was about six weeks, but I didn’t stop going to the bars and drank Coca Cola.?I attended meetings for about eighteen months and my binges were more frequent and longer until I was on the verge of losing my marriage, children, and job. They never gave up on me and allowed me to transition into the program.?Having hit what I hope is my last bottom, I entered treatment for my disease. One thing I will always be grateful for is the love and compassion that I received from the recovery community as I struggled with my disease.

Stage 4: Action

In the fourth stage we start practicing our new behavior.?I’ve heard it said that AA is a simple program for complicated people.?The first three to six months are crucial in adjusting to this new way of life.?This is probably where ninety meetings in ninety days originated.?In my early days of recovery, I attended two meetings a day if possible, got a sponsor, and accepted what was shared with me by those alcoholics with sobriety which I respected, and this was essential in my recovery.?I was still out of control and acting as if I really had things together like I always did, and I had not yet dealt with my ego.?I was still acting as if I was getting things together, but in reality I was still fearful that if I let down my guard people would know the real me, not what I was projecting. That was compounded by the fact that I didn’t really know the real me.?

Stage 5: Maintenance

Stage five is where the rubber meets the road.?Most of us experienced the “pink cloud” and that is okay because it allowed us to experience what life would be like if we stayed on course. For most of us the acceptance and love we receive in recovery is life changing.?This stage generally is from six months to five years. During this time, we willingly commit ourselves to sustaining our new behavior.?We can use this time to stabilize relationships, discover more of who we really are, and recognize the benefits of the Ninth Step Promises in our lives.

? I had been abstinent for about nine months and was driving to make a sales call when I found myself returning to those old emotions of fear and lack of self-worth/self-worth when I saw an old beer joint, and I pulled into the parking lot without thinking to relieve the emotional pain I was experiencing.?By God’s Grace I stopped before I got out of the car and realized all that stuff I had been hearing was really working in my life, so I pulled back on the road and went to a meeting instead.?It was then when I realized I had been going to meetings because I had to.?Doing the right thing for the wrong reason only works for a while. That was when I realized that I was actually going because I wanted to, and that is still the case today. I had made several changes in the early stages of my abstinence but this one made a big difference in my recovery journey.?

If we have been clean and sober for any period of time we will experience ups and downs of our recovery.?Complacency is normal and can be dangerous if we are not careful.?How many of us have thought “I don’t have to go to a meeting today, I’ve got too much to do.”?Cutting back on meetings can lead to relapse if we are not careful.?Procrastination is just as bad, so we put off something because it is too stressful or difficult.?This is true especially if it is something that we really don’t want to do but must be done.?

Most of us will continue to work on ourselves. Twelve Step Programs accept clinicians to assist with pressing mental health issues.?Priorities and goals change as we age.?This being said we will always be changing, hopefully for the better.?We stand a better chance if we remain active in our recovery program and give back to those who still suffer what was so graciously given to us by our Higher Power

For more thoughts on changing in recovery my book ESCAPING FROM THE BONDAGE OF ADDICTION – Learning Who You Are and How to Live Sober is available on Lulu.com