GROWING IN RECOVERY

Welcome to My Walk in Recovery

I use the metaphor of a book when I look back over my life. The book contains clearly defined chapters, some pertain to the stages of life while others focus on reactions to life and its challenges such as dealing with life on life’s terms. Each chapter offers the hindsight to look back and grow through the experiences.?Hindsight is 20/20.?

The early chapter focused on the influence authority figures in my life had on developing my personality and coping skills. I was raised in a “normal” family if there is such a thing.?We seldom expressed emotions and or feelings which left me with a deficit when facing adversity or acceptance.?I was small for my age and very immature which created problems with fitting in.?I have always felt like a square peg in a round hole.?Bullying was not on the radar yet, but I was frequently considered a good prospect for it by others.?This, and other issues had a significant influence on my self-worth which was extremely low.

The next chapter started the long spiral that lasted for years.?I found alcohol at age sixteen and it almost immediately became my primary coping mechanism.?I abused it from the very start, and it was not long before I drank on a regular basis, even drinking during school hours by going to my car during lunch. ?I worked as an usher at a theater managed by a practicing alcoholic and would drink two quarts of Budweiser at night waiting to close the theater.?This was on school nights.??Little did I know then there was alcoholism in my extended family, and that I was genetically predisposed.?

This chapter started when I enrolled in college in 1959 with dismal success and dropped out three times with failing grades. ?I was completely lost and had no concept of who I was and what I wanted to be.?I majored in cutting classes, playing poker, and drinking beer.?As a side note I did decide to go back after I got sober and graduated in 1989. In 1961 I joined the Air Force with the intention of growing up and maturing but found myself still struggling and alcohol was readily available and cheap.?

The next chapter includes the years with periods of attempts to live a normal life, but with limited success because I did not change.?I met the girl of my dreams before flunking out and we were married in 1963.?Over the next five years we had two wonderful children and I got my first real job in medical sales which I stuck with for twenty-three years.?Taking on more responsibility was difficult over the long run so sooner or later I would encounter a challenge and I was off to the races again. I read virtually every self-help book to no avail.?I became a binge drinker, and the binges went from annually to regularly.?My immaturity along with drinking heavily continued to create problems for me until my life became a complete disaster.

The initial chapter of my recovery journey started at age thirty-six when I attended my first AA meeting in 1978.?Like most of us it was at the encouragement of a loved one who was concerned with my alcohol abuse.?I continued to deny the severity of my disease, so I was in and out of meetings for about a year and a half.?With the acceptance and unconditional love of recovering AA members I finally accepted that I was an alcoholic and facing losing everything I entered treatment on January 4, 1980, and by God’s Grace and Alcoholics Anonymous I remain sober today.?

I have learned from experience that recovery is a journey with highs and lows which I see as equally challenging. We can become complacent when things are going well, and struggle when things seem to be falling apart.?The quality of our recovery program plays a significant role in how we react.??

Recovery requires consistent change and growth to stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live a purposeful life under all conditions.?The next chapters represent the time spent in each phase of my recovery.?The first five years were spent just remaining abstinent.?I regularly attended meetings and was very superficial coming off as “Mr. AA”.?That chapter closed with me having to grasp that I needed to look more deeply into myself.?The problem was I was talking the talk but not walking the walk.

During the next five years I made several changes which I could not have made without some sobriety.?I was at a stage in my recovery that something was still missing and with the help of a friend in recovery I began to realize the significance of Spirituality and the Spiritual Principles in the 12 Steps, which had a significant effect on my recovery.?They are so significant that I recently wrote a book on Embracing the Spiritual Principles in 12 Step Recovery.

Job issues induced struggles and challenged me with what I wanted to do the rest of my life.?I had spent 23 years in medical sales but never felt like I fit.?I did feel like I was helping people but could not get past the discomfort.?By the Grace of God, I was offered an opportunity to open an Employee Assistance Program company in 1989 and over the next thirty years have counseled several thousand employees and their families to resolve their problems and improve the quality of their lives as they recover from alcohol and drug abuse, marital and family problems, depression, job issues, and stress.

I continued to search for ways to help others, which I believe to be God’s Will is for me.?In 2001 I founded The Recovery Coach and provided services in all areas of addiction management; starting with interventions and running the gamut to include individual relapse prevention counseling, relapse prevention groups, co-occurring disorders, recovery coaching, as well as numerous groups and workshops on improving the quality of recovery through self-recognition and self-acceptance. For the past six years I have facilitated treatment groups for the 21st Recovery Court, with the goal of helping non-violent convicted felons to change their lives and stop reentering the legal system.

I recently semi-retired and realized that my ability to reach others and share my experiences in recovery were diminished which is a significant part of my personal recovery program.?Posting articles provide me with an opportunity to share my personal and professional experience that God has graced me with.?I would never be where I am today without the Grace of God, the unconditional love of my wife and family, and the wonderful people in recovery who loved me and allowed me to grow to who I have become.?My recovery is an ongoing process, and I will continue to experience life’s challenges and learn from the experience and write chapters until I pass from this earth.?I invite you to walk the path with me if you choose.?