Growing in a Queer Household: Navigating the Christian Rejection Around Us

I didn’t grow up hiding who I was. I had the immense privilege of being raised in a queer household—a space where love and acceptance were the norm, where being yourself was celebrated. But even in that safety, we couldn’t escape the harsh realities of the world outside.

We were surrounded by Christian communities that preached loudly about what was "right" and "wrong"—and queerness was always on the wrong side of their sermons. We weren’t just hearing these messages from a distance; they were all around us. They echoed through classrooms, family gatherings, and the media, telling us that who we were wasn’t just different, but broken, sinful, and in need of fixing.

Watching that rejection was confusing. Even though my household affirmed who I was, I still saw the effects of these harmful messages in people I cared about. I watched my queer family and friends live with the constant pressure of feeling condemned by those around them. And even though I had love at home, it didn’t make me immune to the message that being queer meant being an outcast in the eyes of so many.

Living in a World That Says "This Isn’t for You"

While my home was a place of acceptance, the broader world told a different story. We may have celebrated our identities in private, but publicly, there was a constant, looming reminder: "This isn’t for you." Christianity, for all its teachings on love, often left little room for people like us. We were told that faith and queerness were mutually exclusive, that you couldn’t have both.

I remember feeling this tension all the time—this sense that no matter how much we loved ourselves or each other, society’s judgment of our queerness loomed large. Faith, especially Christianity, was something that many of us believed we had to leave behind because it was never meant for us in the first place.

Witnessing Others’ Pain—and Wanting to Do Better

As I grew older, I watched so many queer people I loved struggle to reconcile their faith with their identity. Some gave up on faith altogether, while others wrestled with their beliefs in private, holding onto a spirituality that felt increasingly out of reach.

I saw how these negative Christian messages impacted my friends and family, creating deep wounds—even for those who had already found some acceptance in their queerness. The constant rejection from faith communities cut deep, leading to profound feelings of alienation and shame, even when we knew better in our hearts. I saw the toll it took on people’s mental health, their sense of self-worth, and their ability to trust in others.

It became clear to me that this was a huge gap in mental health care. As I started my career as a therapist, I realized that many professionals didn’t have the tools to address this specific intersection: the trauma that comes from being queer and religious in a world that so often tells you those two things can’t coexist. That’s why I created this course—because too many people are left feeling like they don’t belong anywhere.

The Reality of Religious Trauma for LGBTQ+ Clients

Working as a therapist, I’ve seen over and over how religious trauma shows up for queer clients. It’s the harm caused when religious teachings, often reinforced by community or family, are used to reject, shame, or devalue a person because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

I’ve seen clients who are still trying to shake off the weight of messages they internalized from childhood—biblical interpretations that condemn their identities as sinful or unnatural. These clients often carry the scars of being excluded from religious spaces that were supposed to nurture their spiritual lives. The result is an internal conflict that impacts their mental health in profound ways: anxiety, depression, shame, and disconnection from their sense of self.

One of the main things we tackle in this course is how to work through that religious trauma. We explore how biblical texts have been weaponized against queer people, and we provide alternative, affirming interpretations that allow clients to hold onto their faith without sacrificing who they are.

Why Religious Competence in Therapy Is Critical

For many mental health professionals, there’s a huge gap in understanding how to handle the intersection of faith and identity for LGBTQ+ clients. Despite the fact that 79% of clients say their faith is an important part of their lives, only 33% of mental health providers feel confident discussing religious issues in therapy.

But here’s the thing: Faith can’t be ignored in therapy. For many queer clients, their faith is still central to their sense of self, even if they’ve been hurt by religious communities. If we, as therapists, don’t understand how to help them process both their queerness and their spirituality, we’re not giving them the full support they deserve.

This course is designed to fill that gap. It’s for the mental health providers who want to do better by their queer clients. It’s about religious competence—understanding how faith shapes people’s experiences and how to address religious trauma in a way that promotes healing rather than alienation. This isn’t just about knowing the right terms or being generally inclusive; it’s about digging deep into how we can support clients through one of the most challenging parts of their identity journey.

Faith and Queerness Can Coexist

What I’ve learned in my own life, and through my work with clients, is that faith and queerness can coexist. It takes time, unlearning, and a deep commitment to healing, but it’s possible to find a path that honors both. Many queer individuals who grew up in or around Christian environments are still seeking that balance—a way to stay connected to their spirituality without denying who they are. And as therapists, we have the unique opportunity to help guide them through that process.

This course isn’t just about affirming identity—it’s about providing the tools to help clients reconcile their faith and their queerness. And it’s not just for mental health professionals; it’s for anyone who’s interested in this intersection—whether you’re a therapist, a pastor, or someone who’s personally working through this tension.

Join the Waitlist for This Course

If this resonates with you—whether you’re a therapist looking to better serve your clients, or someone who has personally felt the weight of navigating queerness and Christianity—this course is for you.

"Intersection of Christianity and Queerness: Therapeutic Approaches to Client Care" is an ACE and ASWB approved course that’s launching soon. It’s self-paced, online, and open to anyone interested in learning more about the complex dynamics between faith and identity.

By joining the waitlist you’ll be the first to know when the course goes live, and you’ll also receive 20% off as a thank-you for your early interest.