Growing Personally & Professionally Part 2
Monica Mouer, MS, LCMHCS, CSAT-S, EMDR certified
Passionate about Partnering with Therapists for Personal and Professional Growth ?? | Psychotherapist & Director of CFT Institute
Brokenness is something each of us endures even though some individuals have experienced greater levels of trauma than others. According to the Life Model, recovery is about exceeding one’s current potential and reaching one’s God-intended destiny or true identity.
Growth isn’t Easy but it is Required
The difficulty of life leads some people to chaotic distractions and others to rigid focus. Still, others search for meaningful purpose by exploring existential concepts, such as what it means to be human and how to become the best possible version of ourselves. Personal growth is in the same vein as Abraham Maslow’s familiar concept of self-actualization which he defines as the realization of our greatest human potential. I define personal growth as the process by which we increase our understanding of and apply wisdom to a place of maximizing our potential and thus accomplishing our “job” or contribution to making the world a better place.??
My journey to becoming my best self introduced me to a specific curriculum called Life Model Works .?The Life Model is an idealized concept of human maturation and transformation across the lifespan (1). In other words, the idealized Life Model ponders and systematizes what humans could be like if adversity, trauma, and other experiences did not derail us from our God-given identities. The Life Model is a powerful resource not just for #therapists and therapy practices but also for churches, businesses, addiction recovery centers, individuals, marriages and families, neighborhoods, and mission organizations. This model is #diverse and applies to all humans independent of cultural differences, the Life Model curriculum is actually being utilized in a variety of countries and has been translated into many different languages. Because of these things, the Life Model has become a central focus of both my personal and professional life.
It is important to note that The Center for Transformation (CFT) Institute is supported by Life Model Works in the endeavor to bring this information to therapists everywhere. The therapists on our team are well-studied in the model and are actively seeking ways to not only implement the model in our personal lives and in our therapy sessions but also to consider how we can best offer the knowledge of this model to other #mentalhealthprofessionals through the CFT Institute.? The hope is that, as influencers, therapists will be able to offer hope to many more individuals so that many can benefit from the wisdom the Life Model offers.
The Life Model outlines four aspects of growth in the book, Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You: wholeness, maturation, recovery, and identity formation.?This article is part two in this series on Growing Personally & Professionally and we will be diving into the aspects of #recovery & #trueidentity formation.?
Recovery
Typically when you hear the term recovery, it brings up the concept of addiction.? As an addiction therapist, I talk to clients about the idea of not just being “sober” from their addiction. The true goal of addiction healing is to be in lifelong “recovery,” because when someone embraces and walks into a true recovery process, the root pain that caused the addiction has to be addressed. A person in recovery actually becomes a more mature individual who contributes value to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.
However, recovery isn’t just about addiction, rather, it has to do with healing from brokenness. Brokenness is something each of us endures even though some individuals have experienced greater levels of trauma than others. According to the Life Model, recovery is about exceeding one’s current potential and reaching one’s God-intended destiny (3). An individual who is in a recovery process or who is recovered is one who has entered into pursuing wholeness by way of filling in their maturity gaps through a healing process. A whole and mature person is a recovered person; though wholeness and maturity are never fully met until we meet our Creator, we can grow into greater and greater levels of these over time. It’s important to note that when life’s traumas are resolved, the human brain can learn to live in joy in its most natural state. An unrecovered brain lives in fear while joy is a positive emotion that creates a relational state of mind. “The goal of recovery is to build joy that is powerful enough so the other feelings connect to it and come to a resting place.” (1)
Experiencing enough healing to recover from life’s trauma and live in joy is not a simple process. Each of us has a unique set of complications present in our lives that creates a unique result in the way our personalities form.?Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all experience.?Each of us has a responsibility to find our own path to healing.?This is why the Life Model is such a helpful conceptualization.?When we study and apply the Life Model, we can see where our unique and specific gaps in maturity/wholeness are so that we can find our personal path to recovery.?The bonus here is that the Life Model gives direction in terms of how to connect in our relationship with others and our relationship with God as a way to enhance and solidify our growth process.??
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True Identity Formation
The development of true #identity is the reward of a recovering life.? As we are healed, we know who we are.?When we live from our hurt, we live out of a wounded and false identity.?According to the Life Model, if a human develops correctly or heals from malfunctions in development, they will be able to live from their true heart thus bringing a fullness of self to their relationships and community.? Living from your true identity means that “you are being the person you were designed to be, acting like yourself in all situations.” (3)? I love how the Life Model teaches that my true self is my redeemed self. My false self is my wounded self.?For me personally, this concept has been truly transformative. Until I encountered the Life Model, I had real difficulty viewing myself outside of my weaknesses and my behaviors.?I carried toxic guilt from a very young age because of the way I acted when I was upset/angry.?As I learned and applied the Life Model concepts, I began to see myself through the lens of my true self and felt freedom from the shame I had always carried.??
Thinking of yourself through the lens of your true identity is not an avoidance of your weaknesses, but rather a tenderness to them.?When you understand that you have weaknesses that are rooted in pain and not a result of a faulty identity, you can see yourself as a person who is redeemable and worthy of the work that healing takes.??
Personal growth is a responsibility of each human life. Many individuals avoid personal growth because it is emotionally difficult and time-consuming.?The alternative is to stay stuck in misery, depression, addiction, or worse.?While growth is painful, it is the best option because there is a light at the end of the tunnel!? When we grow, we become more whole, mature, and stable in our recovery!?Our lives become more meaningful and more joyful when we embrace the process of personal growth.??
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