Growing in Leadership: How Self Aware Are You?

When I first started digging into leadership development, I realized just how important self-awareness is to effective leadership. One of the turning points in my journey was reading Successful Women Think Differently by Valorie Burton. Her message about the power of self-awareness hit me hard: "Self-awareness is the foundation for all personal growth." If you don’t know yourself, your tendencies, strengths, and blind spots; how can you lead others effectively?

Why Self Awareness is Crucial

As leaders, we're expected to guide teams, make tough decisions, and communicate clearly. But none of that comes naturally if you lack self-awareness. I've seen it firsthand. In moments when I wasn’t fully aware of how my actions or words were landing, it created confusion and, sometimes, frustration among my team.??

That’s when I really started to focus on reflecting after key interactions. I asked myself, "What went well?" and "How could I have handled that better?" This simple practice of self-reflection helped me see patterns in my behavior. It made me more mindful of how I was showing up as a leader.

I had to learn to read the room. Let me share an experience where I learned this lesson the hard way.

My Own Self Awareness Moment

I remember working on a major project with a CEO, and we just weren’t connecting. It wasn’t that either of us lacked the skills or the drive to move the project forward, but something was off in our communication. At the time, I didn’t fully address the difference in our styles.?

Because I didn’t acknowledge this gap in how we communicated, misunderstandings began to pile up. We’d leave meetings thinking we were on the same page, only to realize later that we weren’t. In hindsight, I realize I wasn’t as self-aware as I needed to be. If I had been more mindful of our communication differences and adjusted my style to meet the CEO where they were, we could have avoided a lot of confusion. It was a clear example of how self-awareness (or the lack of it) can make or break a project.

Ways to Become More Self Aware

Over the years, I've come across a few strategies that have helped me develop greater self-awareness:

1. Journaling and Reflection: After a tough conversation or a big decision, I make it a habit to write down what happened. This gives me a chance to step back and analyze my emotions and actions. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “I could have been more patient” or “Maybe I didn’t explain that clearly enough.”
2. Seeking Feedback: Asking for feedback isn’t easy, but it’s been one of the most valuable tools in my growth. I’ll ask trusted colleagues or even my team, "How did that come across?" or "What could I do differently?" Their perspectives are often eye-opening.
3. Mindfulness: Taking a few moments throughout the day to check in with myself. How am I feeling? What’s my body language saying? Am I showing up with emotional intelligence? Leadership can be stressful, but being mindful helps me stay in control of my reactions.
4. Learning from Experts: I've found so much wisdom in books from authors like Valorie Burton, John C. Maxwell, and Brené Brown. Each one of them offers a unique lens on leadership and personal growth. When I read their insights, I find myself reflecting on how they apply to my own experiences.
5. Reflecting on Past Experiences: I often look back on situations where I succeeded or struggled as a leader. It’s easy to focus on what went wrong, but I also try to remember what I did right. This reflection not only helps me learn but builds my confidence as I continue to grow.

Wrapping Up: Self Awareness is the Key

The more time I’ve spent becoming aware of my actions and reactions, the more I’ve seen positive results in how I lead. Self-awareness isn't about perfection. It’s about progress and learning to see yourself clearly as you grow from that understanding.

If you're serious about becoming a better leader, I encourage you to start by looking inward. Leadership growth isn't always more degrees and certifications.? And it definitely doesn't happen by accident. It takes intention, reflection, and a willingness to evolve.

One of the tools that helped me gain deeper insight into my leadership style was the DISC assessment. It allowed me to understand my communication patterns and how I interact with others under pressure. If you're interested in exploring how DISC can support your growth, reach out and let's explore how this tool can take your leadership to the next level.

Don't forget to check out our previous articles.

• The MisUsed Project Managers: Stop Undervaluing Their Leadership

• Fractional Project Management: The Good, the Bad, and the Business Impact

• Stay Sharp: Learning Tactics for Leaders

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