"Growing Confidence: A Mother's Guide to Supporting Her Son's Next Chapter"

How are you? How is the beginning of your year? Did you make any resolutions? If so, are you keeping them? I have learned that it’s not about perfection; it’s about progression. As long as you try and you make small gains, then you are progressing. Don’t feel defeated or discouraged if you do not reach every daily goal the way that you imagined you would. Instead, celebrate the small victories until you reach the big one. Keep moving forward.

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The Scenario:

My 12-year-old son, Mark, will be in 7th grade next school year. Unlike other kids, Mark has the condition known as “restricted growth,” this is part of the Dwarfism category. Mark’s current school goes to the 6th grade so he will be graduating in June. I like his current school because there are only 10-15 students per class and the kids are kind to him. I am concerned about Mark going to the new school because it is a bigger school, and I am afraid that his new classmates won’t accept him. I am also concerned that Mark will be bullied for being small. When I talked to my son about it, he didn't feel confident about starting a new school. We are now considering homeschooling Mark out of fear that he will be bullied but we think homeschooling will hurt his social skills. What advice or encouragement can you give us? - Beth, mom of 2.

As parents, we always want the best for our children and we want to protect them from harm. I understand your concerns, which most parents probably have felt. We cannot control or change how other people think about us but we can only change our thoughts, practices, and behaviors. Homeschooling is a viable option for Mark and many children seem to do well with it. If you choose to homeschool, you should explore other avenues for social outlets. If you send Mark to a public or private school, meet with the administration and his teachers to express your concerns before the start of the school year. Determine what safeguards they can put into place to protect Mark and his well-being. Perhaps they can identify a buddy that Mark can meet before school starts. Maybe having a friend will help Mark be more comfortable.

My best advice is for you to build Mark’s self-confidence by working diligently with him to empower him with tools and resources that will improve his self-esteem. I believe that everything Mark needs to navigate life resides within him, as it does with all of us. Positive self-image, self-talk, and affirmations will help Mark in his next season. I encourage you to do the same thing that Mark does. It will probably be more impactful and more meaningful to both of you if you practice positive self-talk and affirmations together. I also recommend that you find a therapist or doctor to help Mark navigate this situation. A professional may be able to provide an outlook or tools for Mark that goes beyond what you can provide for him.

Hi Mark! I understand your concern about your first day at a new school! I’m sorry to hear that you don’t feel confident about starting a new school, change can be scary. I want you to see this as a fresh start and don’t let the negative opinions from your classmates get you down. Like my parents always said, focus on the positive people around you, don't give the negative people your time or energy! My advice for the mother is to speak positively to your son! Also, visiting the new school before the start of the school year. This could calm you and/or your son's nerves. When I was in 8th grade, like your son, I was nervous about starting a new school and my mom made sure that I met all of my teachers before the first day of school. This could help Mark like it helped me. I really think going to the school could help both of you because it will be good for Mark to meet his team before the school year begins.?

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?App of the Month - Surfie?

Surfie is an app that helps children stay safe online. Surfie Parent alerts you when your child is cyberbullied on WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, and Viber. It also alerts you if your child posts harmful, sexual, or violent content or if they are talking with a stranger. Surfie Parent alerts you in real-time of your child’s location and journey history on the app. This app allows your children to access certain websites according to your child’s age and it also allows you to limit your child’s screen time and block inappropriate websites and applications. You can also set local alerts to know that your child left home on time and arrived safely at school. You only get notified if certain keywords come up in an algorithm.

Check this app now: https://www.surfieapp.com/

What's Next: Upcoming Event

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Learn expert strategies for social media safety, bullying prevention, and digital communication. This includes 3 live Zoom sessions and resources.

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