To Grow, You Have to Address Your Biggest Issue…

With God’s direction, I have had my fair share of successes since joining the CRE industry at age 21. To name a few, I was the:

• Youngest President of any top 10 mortgage brokerage
• Crain’s youngest “Forty Under 40” honoree, in my 20s
• Mastermind behind Meridian’s initial rise from $300M to $2B+
• Founder and growth driver of Eastern Union to $5B

Baruch Hashem. Along with the good, I also thank God for the growth I’ve had because of the challenges!

If you went back and talked to my staff several years ago, you might get mixed feedback about my leadership style. Some would say I motivated them, others would say I offended them or even belittled them… Both would be right.?

I’m a strong-minded person—it’s my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. My passion to help others turned to anger and frustration when people made mistakes or bad career decisions.?

My intentions were good; my methods often weren’t.

I responded to my team with anger, frustration, and admittedly, even yelling…

I thought my rigid determination to succeed was necessary to “keep the company in line” so we could grow, but looking back now, I can see that was far from true… With God on our side we were still profitable (we grew Eastern Union to the third most active company in the country), but I wonder how much stronger we could have been if I knew what I know now.?

So, if I could go back and give my younger self some advice, there’s two big takeaways I would share… I want to focus on the first one this week.

1. I made a commitment to myself that no matter how much I wanted to help, or what mistakes were made, I would never let myself get that frustrated again.

I had to learn when I got angry, the blame wasn’t on my team for making a mistake, it was on me for letting my emotions get out of hand. Sometimes I was right, and sometimes they weren’t the right person for the job, but none of that really mattered.

Your business can’t grow without strong communication. Strong communication can’t survive in a fear-based work environment.

And that’s a big problem.

I’m reminded of an expression I learned at a very young age: “Gam zu l'tova!” It means, “This is also for the good.” As much as I thank God when things are going well, I’ve learned to thank Him just as much when things aren’t.

In those frustrating moments, remind yourself…

• Gam zu l'tova. Even trying situations can be for your benefit.
• No matter what, realize everyone has different goals, even if you think you’re helping them, and even if you’re right. They have to make their own decisions.
• Hold your team accountable to the result, not the method. Be careful not to micromanage the process.
• Set clear expectations for your team. If you don’t articulate it, then how can you hold people accountable for it? If you have accountability without clear expectations, you’re just an angry boss.
• Frustrating situations come up in business, but at the end of the day, you’re still responsible for your reaction.

Whatever you do, don’t let frustration poison the communication of your team.?

“In teamwork, silence isn’t golden. It’s deadly.” —Mark Sanborn

I would love to hear where you agree and disagree! Pay it forward by commenting your favorite ways to protect communication on your team, and grab a few ideas from others while you’re there.

My new goal for GPARENCY is to be the #1 place to work at every level… so far, I think we’re on the right path!

Next week, I’ll unpack the second thing that helped me… Learning to hire a strong number two—an integrator!