Grow In to Grow Out

Bamboo plants are the fastest-growing woody plants on the planet, and watching them grow is fascinating. Bamboos take a long time to get established but once done, they grow taller quickly and multiply rapidly. But why does it take a long time for the shoot to break the ground, and once it does, how does it grow in no time? The answer to it is simple. It's growing inside, strengthening its rhizomes and penetrating deeper to support the rapid outward growth. Unfortunately, this inner growth is not visible to the naked eye making the rapid outer growth a surprise to many. One would've encountered many successful people like entrepreneurs, sportspersons, politicians, artists, authors, etc., and often wonder about the reasons for their tremendous success in their lives and careers. Their success may look like a miracle on the outward, and we consider them lucky or gifted. More than luck, these individuals are gifted with passion, courage, hard work, and perseverance, tested from time to time and chiseled by a lifetime's experiences; they continue to learn from their failures and keep going until they reach their goals. Why can't an average John Doe be as successful as these individuals??

Many of us have higher aspirations, but if we run the numbers, successful individuals are only a handful. So, do you want to blame it on bad karma and move on, or scrutinize these individuals' lives, reflect upon your own, and identify the adversaries that are putting you behind? Since childhood, so much rubbish has been collected by us, resulting in many thoughts and emotions in our brains. These thoughts and feelings induce noise in our minds consuming us most of the time and shaping our personalities. At first, there will be a constant brawl between you and your antagonistic self before entirely giving up. There will be an occasional adrenaline rush, but that hardly sustains. Those who can effectively filter out the noise from the very beginning and invest wisely in the stuff that matters are successful sooner. Also, the ones who eventually had a realization and built self-awareness can take a total u-turn replacing the noise with wisdom. They put in a lot of effort and, with their patience, commitment, and perseverance, finally win the antagonist and eventually become successful. So, the average John Doe can be successful if he can win the antagonist within him. Let us look at the adversaries developed by your antagonistic self and go over some thoughts on handling those.

Emotional Imbalance?- Emotional imbalance results from low self-esteem and lack of self-awareness. Ask these questions, and if your brutal answer to these is a YES, you lack emotional intelligence and need to work on it. The more YESs, the deeper the problem is rooted.?

• Do I lack a proper understanding of my strengths and weaknesses?
• Do I fear being judged all the time?
• Do I take criticism negatively??
• Do I complain and make excuses all the time?
• Do I dwell in my thoughts and emotions, and my decision-making is all emotional?
• Do I always react defensively?
• Do I believe that I know more than others?
• Do I always like to hang in my comfort zone and have resistance to change?

If you want to change yourself, the first and foremost thing you must do is acknowledge and accept your weaknesses.

• Forgive yourself. Remember, there is no perfect human on the planet; everyone makes mistakes, and no individual is spared from criticism.?
• Instead of reacting to the situation in haste, step back a little, take time, and respond when you are back in your senses.?
• Review how many of your fears came true and how much you suffered unnecessarily. Always have this in the back of your mind and apply it the next time a new worry pops up.
• Review each day the hits and misses of your emotional acts. Spare yourself from the guilt of all the misses and strive to do better the next day instead.
• Start observing your breath and how it changes with your emotions. Practice breathing exercises and learn to calm down.
• Remember that change will not happen overnight, and it may take several months to years to fully overcome this problem, so please be patient.

Procrastination -?Procrastination is not exactly laziness. It's a tendency to postpone things until the last minute, and it can be because of different reasons.?

• It can be because of low self-esteem.
• Avoiding due to lack of interest.
• Fear of failure and being judged and criticized.
• Lack of clarity on where to start.
• Overwhelming because of the size and complexity of the task.
• You are a perfectionist and can't settle for anything less than a perfect outcome.
• Delayed outcomes delay the rewards and recognition that you anticipate.
• Changing priorities constantly and moving on to others before completing one.

Here are some thoughts on how to overcome this:

• Develop your emotional intelligence.
• Gain clarity on why you procrastinate on a specific task.
• Create an action plan and reward yourself for each of the milestones you achieved.
• Enjoy the journey instead of worrying about the outcomes.
• For quality freaks working towards goals with aggressive timelines, please keep in mind that quality comes with time, and you need to plan to have more time to sit on it. Instead of avoiding it, give it more time.
• Start a new goal once you finish your current one to avoid distractions and switching in between.
• Have a mentor who can monitor the progress of your goals and put you back on track by guiding and motivating you.

Highly Disorganized?- We will occasionally be disorganized and overwhelmed when there is too much going on in our lives, and we will bounce back once things start to settle down. But if you are struggling in your day-to-day activities impacting your life, you need to do something about it. These individuals lack discipline and individuality and have developed personality traits by relying too much on others from childhood.

• Absent-minded and forget things easily.
• Often misplace things or are unable to find items.
• Unable to manage time efficiently.
• Lack of clarity and struggle with where and when to start.
• Unable to plan and execute.
• Unable to focus, lack in quality and efficiency.
• Always miss deadlines.

Most of the time, realizing your weaknesses and becoming self-aware will solve half the problem. Develop individuality and discipline in life, and gradually, you will see progress.

• Plan your day and week ahead of time. Take the help of a close friend, relative, or colleague to review your plan and make adjustments. Don't overload yourself in the beginning.
• Before starting a task, please step back and do it in your mind end to end before physically starting on it.
• Learn to manage your time effectively. Stick to a routine for your daily activity. Knock off the most simple tasks first and leave a more significant chunk of time for your complex tasks so that you can work on them without distraction.
• Always keep things in the designated place so they are easy to retrieve.
• Train your mind with some problem-solving activities.
• Spend time to obtain as much clarity as possible. Confidence is not a substitute for clarity, but clarity builds confidence.

Now that we looked at the adversaries, here are some more important aspects we need to bring into our lives for our overall inner growth.

Be Curious -?Curiosity doesn't always kill the cat. Have child-like curiosity always.

Be a constant learner -?Keep yourself up-to-date and relevant by constantly learning new things.

Spend time wisely -?Don't be a couch potato. Stop entertaining yourself too much. Create new hobbies, and acquire new skills instead.?

Enjoy what you do -?Give your hundred percent and enjoy what you do. It will improve your quality and efficiency.

Stay detached about the outcome -?Worrying about the outcome and fear of failure can trigger stress and angst, which not only impact your effectiveness but also can trigger health issues.?

Practice critical thinking -?Critical thinking naturally happens with a deeper understanding of the problem and reflecting on it for longer. It needs a good amount of practice.

Invest in your physical and mental well-being -?Have a well-balanced nutritious diet, exercise, and practice meditation. It will boost your emotional balance and overall well-being. It is fundamental for leading a pleasant and successful life.

Have compassion and empathy -?Always be empathetic and compassionate to everyone, irrespective of their behavior toward you. Others' behavior is nothing to do with you; they are usually just going through their emotions.?

Practice Self-awareness -?To improve your emotional intelligence, one should always be self-aware. It is the toughest of all and needs loads of practice.

Have a mentor?- Everyone needs a mentor, coach, or Guru to guide us through the ups and downs in life without losing focus on our goals. Selecting a mentor who is a well-wisher of you and whom you genuinely believe is the key to your success.

Conclusion: Inner growth makes you mentally strong enough to reach your worldly goals and ambitions by eliminating your weaknesses and vanquishing your antagonistic self. Even though you are not highly ambitious and contended in life, it will still help you to lead a blissful and frictionless life. You'll live and let others live. You'll strive to create a better home, workplace, society, nation, and planet, and what is more successful than that?

Resources: Here is a very detailed article that was very well written that I came across during my research on procrastination: https://solvingprocrastination.com/why-people-procrastinate/?