Grow and flow towards your Greatness (Part 1 of 3) - Connecting your dreams, hopes and aspirations

"My soul is striving to remember who I am, to make who I am compatible with who I was born to be, to bring who I am in sync with who I will be."

Steven Foster

Hello #GameChangers!

I hope that you have had a great Chinese New Year celebration with your family and friends and are back recharged and ready for work! To begin, lets start off with my first article in this three-part series, designed to help you grow and flow towards your greatness!

 Shall we start to unwrap the gifts of greatness you received, and unfold your amazing story yet? It won’t be about you becoming a different person - it will be about you becoming more of who you are, by mobilizing more of your inner greatness.

As we press ahead together in this article and the next two, we will keep in mind this definition of Greatness I attempted: “a state of being, flowing from one’s whole, true self, honoring one’s values and purpose, that contributes positive, transformative ripple-effects on others.”

Wisdom from... Lady Gaga

At a concert I attended, Lady Gaga's first message to her 60,000 ‘little monsters’ was:

"Let go of your fears, your insecurities, [reach for] your hopes, your dreams, your potential, your future!"

A mantra she is really serious about, as her life-experience demonstrates its very possibility: within five years, she moved from playing in nondescript underground bars in New-York, to being one of the most successful artists of all time, at just 25 years of age!

It wasn’t any easy: her first single was rejected by almost 100 music companies before a minor one accepted it… Asked on Google-talk "how it feels to become a superstar so quickly", she answered: "my ultimate goal was never about fame. I am genuinely a musician, at my core, (striving to) make the future of music … I am here to be a musician, not a superstar."

Questioned further about finding one's purpose, Lady Gaga advised:

"I really encourage people to look into places they don't normally look into, to find uniqueness and specialness, because that is where the diamonds are hiding.

Don't obsess about the things you did not do, or you may not have done to your best, don't perpetuate negativity in your life. Obsess about the future, think endlessly about how you can pull that inner queen or king out of yourself, and let that superstar shine.

?Always look into yourself for the answers and be the best human being you can be in the future." 

Here's a video about Lady Gaga in which I captured those messages (starting at 2:16). She evokes a lot in just a few questions: “What are your hopes? Your dreams? Who are you ‘at your core’? What is your uniqueness or your specialness?”

Removing the ultimate barriers

To find profound answers, you need to push aside a few boundaries, besides your limiting beliefs (see previous article, 'Learning to let go, of perfection and micromanagement') and your fears, notably of change, failure or success (see previous article, '7 fears thwarting leadership , and ways to control them').

A disingenuous barrier is our natural need for ‘others’ approval’, which stems, mostly, from our desire to belong. Most people choose a mediocre life well tolerated by those around, rather than daring to affirm their difference or uniqueness at the risk of being disliked by some.

For the sake of finding out more of your inner greatness, I invite you to heed Lady Gaga’s advice instead:

“Don't ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can't be exactly who you are born to be.”

Then adjust your expectations and anticipate that being more of who you can be will not win you "approval" from everyone right away. Which is possibly a part of why Lady Gaga said the “best piece of advice” she ever received was: "If you don't have any shadow, you are not standing in the light." 

Reaching out to more of your greatness also means to set aside - just for a while - your other ‘human basic needs’ as Maslow defined them.

Should you find out part of your greatness is in your love of and talent at gardening… we will find practical ways to connect that with your current life and career, and you will make both blossom more! (in the upcoming third article of this series). 

On the path towards finding more of your inner greatness

Lady Gaga - yes, again! - said “you dream of your potential, of what you could become, but you really have no idea what’s on the other side of the door.” Do you?

Then let’s push open that door between your current individual success and your potential significance, and look for ‘diamonds’ and your uniqueness.

We will explore from three complementary approaches:

1. What your ‘dreams’ and hopes say about your deep aspirations (today's article),
2. What the activities you do in ‘flow’ tell about you (next article),
3. What significance you yearn for - consciously or not (third article)

Your dreams, hopes and aspirations

“ If you can dream it, you can achieve it. Never forget this whole thing started with a mouse. ” - Walt Disney

Should we take 'dreams', hopes and aspirations seriously?

Wilma Rudolph, the Olympic track and field champion of the 1960s said, "never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us." 

Marshall Goldsmith shared the summary of dying people’s answers to the question “what advice would you have had for yourself” (should you live your life all over again)?

Three main themes emerged:

1. Reflect upon life to find happiness and meaning now
2. Be close to your family and your friends
3. Go for your dreams

And my own interviews with wise, senior people have recurrently brought up the reflection:

“I wish I had gone for it - failure is much better than regrets to live with”

Does this ring true for you too?

One particularly touching story I gathered was that of a good man, Alfred, who told me he had fallen in love with that so special young lady, Maria, 50 years back in time, but had never dared to tell her.

They were ‘best friends’ for a couple of years. She then married a handsome quarterback, who quickly turned into a disrespectful, abusive partner. And that made Maria’s life miserable for decades. Alfred and her had not been in contact after Maria’s wedding.

They met again 40 years later by chance. Maria told him emotionally that her husband had recently died from cirrhosis, as a result of his heavy drinking habit. Alfred empathized. They rekindled their friendship.

A few months later, Maria told Alfred she had been waiting for him to propose for two years while they were ‘best friends’ but he would not, so instead she married the quarterback… And both lived to regret not going for what they were both dreaming of, until late in their lives...

Following John Maxwell’s advice “to be all we can be, we must dream of being more”. So let’s "go for your dreams" right now, with a pleasing exercise.

Remember your most appealing dreams of achievements, from early childhood until now.

Visualize them in detail.

Visualization is a powerful exercise that successful athletes practice a lot. They ‘see’ their winning moves, then their way up to the podium and the flashes of the photographs, they ‘hear’ the crowd cheering, they ‘feel’ the coolness of the silver cup they receive, etc… That powerfully motivates them to go forward.

As you revisit your dreams, I recommend you question their underlying message: what are they telling you about the greatness you aspire to and about your potential?

Maybe you have stopped dreaming about your future and can’t remember much of your dreams or hopes or aspirations in the past. Then you can easily re-ignite your imagination by asking yourself some of these questions:

• If I could do only one activity for the rest of my life, which one would I choose? Why?
• If I had won so much money that I wouldn’t have financial concerns anymore, which activity would I indulge in? Why?
• If my life would be perfect in 5 years from now, what would I be doing?
• If I knew nothing was impossible, what would I focus on achieving? Why

Please discard dreams about wealth, status, lifestyle or personal growth, as they are not informing you about your potential for greatness but just about your unmet needs. A dream about ‘living in a gorgeous villa in the Caribbean with an infinity pool and a jacuzzi overlooking a turquoise sea’ or ‘becoming a CEO’ or ‘traveling the world to learn about Cultures and history’ won’t help us much in our endeavor here. They might be rewards from your journey to greatness, but not real underlying drivers of it.

Next week, we will find out more about the activities you do in 'flow'.

In the meantime I will be sharing how I could have (in hindsight) connected my own dreams and aspirations to find out my underlying purpose in a short article coming up in the next few days... Stay tuned!

Happy Tuesday #GameChangers!

______________________________________________________________________

Jean-Francois Cousin

Speaker, Author and Master Certified Coach

Director at the Global Board of the International Coach Federation

Greatness Leadership Coaching

Jean-Francois Cousin's latest book:

Game Changers at the Circus: How to Unleash Greatness in Their Organizations

is now available on Amazon in Kindle or Paperback 

Get your copy now!