Grizzly's Laws Of Product Development
??Travis "Grizzly" Jacobs
Product Development, Innovation, Mechanical Engineering, Creativity, Leadership, Communication
- The customers ... or the executives aren't watching until you make a mistake
- Interchangeable part's aren't
- The one item you need is always in short supply
- Things which must be shipped together ... aren't
- Things which must work together ... can't be carried to the field that way
- The important things are always simple ... the simple things are always hard.
- Always remember that your equipment was made by the lowest bidder
- If it's stupid and it works ... It ain't stupid
- The optimal number for a committee is exactly zero
- The only thing more costly than stretching a schedule is accelerating it
- Never argue with a fool ... people might not be able to tell the difference
- In case of doubt ... make it sound convincing
- Always carry a clipboard ... a checklist ... walk fast & look important
- Mechanical Engineers Motto: If it ain't broke ... take it apart and fix it
- If you fix something long enough ... eventually it'll stop working altogether
- When you run out of time ... beat to fit ... paint to match
- In order to get a loan ... you have to prove you don't need one
- The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to it's importance
- Everything takes longer & costs more than you think it should ... or planned for
- Whenever you start doing something ... something else must be done first
- Every solution breeds new problems
- Nothing is ever as easy at it looks
- Things tend to get damaged in direct proportion to their value
- The first half of the schedule consumes 90 percent of the budget ... the second half ... the other 90 percent
- Any task can be completed in only 50 percent more time than it is currently scheduled for
- If you can afford to advertise you don't need to
- It costs a lot to build bad products
- By the time the people asking the questions are ready for the answers ... the people doing the work have lost track of the questions
- If you're not part of the solution ... there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem
- There are many highly successful companies ... there are also many highly paid executives ... the trick is not to mix the two
- The hidden flaw doesn't stay hidden for very long ... in the customers hands
- If everything is going well ... you have obviously over looked something
- Left to themselves .. things tend to go from bad to worse
- If there is a possibility of several things going wrong ... the one that will cause the most damage will be the first to go
- If anything can go wrong ... it will ... at the worst possible time ... usually when customers or executives are watching
- Teamwork is essential ... it gives the manager other people to yell at
- The first myth of management ... is that it exists
- Technology is dominated by those who manage what they don't understand
- Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself
- Everything is easy ... provided you don't understand it
- A short cut is the greatest distance between two points
- The cheapest option is always the most expensive in the long run
- Complex systems that do not work are usually found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine
- If enough data is collected ... you can prove anything
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
- The perfect man for the job will show up the day after the job has been filled
- Software is like entropy ... difficult to grasp ... weighs nothing & obeys the 2nd law of thermodynamics ... it always increases
- The weaker the data .. the greater the precision quoted to give the data authenticity
- If you can't dazzle em with brilliance ... baffle em with bullsh*t
- 90 percent of the time things turn out worse than you expected ... the other 10 percent of the time you had no right to expect so much
- The more one produces the less one gets
- Simple systems aren't feasible ... because they require infinite testing
- Hardware works best when it matters the least
- One should expect that the expected can be prevented ... but the unexpected should have been expected
- The more time you spend talking about what you have been doing ... the less time you have to spend doing what you have been talking about. Eventually you spend more & more time talking about less and less until finally you spend all of your time talking about nothing
- An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing
- We never have time to do it right ... but we always have time to do it over .... and over ... and over ... and over ...
- There is no such thing as a perfect plan
- No plan ever survives initial contact with reality ... or the customer ... whichever comes first
- Professionals are predictable ... the world is full of dangerous amateurs
- For every action ... there is an equal & opposite criticism
- Whenever you have excess time & money ... you can't do anything wrong. If you are short on time & money you can't do anything right
- The customer never knows what they want ... but they always know what they don't want
- The most complex job will be assigned to the least experienced person
- There is always a way ... and it usually doesn't work
- The most dangerous thing in the world ... a fresh graduate with a schedule & a budget
- Never tell your boss you have nothing to do
- If you ever hear the phrase ... "Don't worry, I learned this in school" RUN!
- Everything you packed for the field is everything you don't need ... everything you need is back at the office
- Definition of a committee ... a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary
- Intellectuals solve problems .. geniuses prevent them in the first place
- The scariest phrase in the English language ... "We're from the government ... we're here to help"
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5 年I'm still laughing, crying, shaking my head and giving you a thumbs up for this article.? Great post.