No Grit, No Glory!

Human beings are not designed to do things that are difficult, or scary, or uncomfortable. We like what we know, what is safe and certain and we hate to be forced outside our comfort zone.

If we want to fulfil our true potential in life, if we want to successfully reach our goals, if we want?to be empowered, authentic and resilient, we will be forced at some point in our lives to show courage and face up to our fears.

Without courage, we will never be more than a shadow of who we are capable of being.

Courage isn’t about something magical that happens inside us to make us “not scared anymore”. It’s about something magical that happens inside us to make us push through our fears, our self-doubt, our anxiety, and do things that feel hard, risky or frightening.

J.K. Rowling once said: “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. In which case, you failed by default.”

When she wrote the first Harry Potter novel, she was a single mum living on social welfare, with no job, no money, and no future. She described herself then as “the epitome of failure in modern Britain".

But… she?did?have?a typewriter and a story to tell.

A dozen times she posted her manuscript to a prospective publisher.

And a dozen times she was rejected.

A dozen times she could have given up and said, “The book’s not good enough, I’m not good enough, I’m a failure!”

But she didn’t.

The 13th Publisher (lucky for them) accepted her manuscript and gave her a small advance on future sales. The book went on to sell 500 million copies worldwide and has been translated into over 79 different languages.

In her own words, Rowling’s said, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

We can’t all be a #1 best selling author, but we can strive to be the best possible version of ourselves. To do so, we need to embrace vulnerability, confront fear of failure and rejection, and do what we are passionate about.

Never let anyone tell you, “You Can’t!”

Not even yourself!

Especially yourself!

Use the negative energy of those people who tell you “you can’t, you’ll fail, you’re not good enough”, to fuel your motivation to succeed.

Be determined to prove them wrong!

You’re probably wondering: “What the heck does Shirley know about all this? When did she ever fail at something or be told that she wasn’t good enough? What courage has she ever shown in her life? When did she ever pick herself up off the floor and have to start all over again?”

It’s a good question. One I would be asking myself if I were in your shoes.

Well…

By the time I was 10 years old, I had gone blind, been sent away to boarding school and my father had died. My mother made it more than clear that her expectations for me were, at best, limited - leave school at 16, get married, have 2.2 children and get a part-time job in a local shop or factory, if possible.

She did not believe in women having careers, nor did she believe in women being academically successful, or making their way in what she saw as a “man’s world”. She was ashamed of my disability. She refused to support me financially through university.?She wrote me off with four simple words.

‘What’s the point?’

So, I worked evenings in a bar until 1am - and I got my degree, and an MBA, and a doctorate and I joined an international consulting company at the age of 26 and built a life that focused on my unique capabilities, rather than my perceived disabilities.

I was determined not to be limited by other peoples prejudices, and to make what many considered to be impossible, possible.

I am proud to say that I completely and utterly failed to meet my mother’s expectations. I was far too busy striving to fulfill my own potential!

How did I achieve that?

By being clear about who I was and what I wanted.

By not letting challenging circumstances stop me from meeting my goals .

By being true to myself.

By daring greatly and being brave enough to try, to fail and to try again.

I said to myself again and again, “My life is in my hands. I can choose to make this really good, or I can choose to make this really bad. I can choose to focus on those things that I do really well, and let those things define me.

Or, I can just say, “It’s too difficult, I don’t have the support I need! I’ll never succeed!”?and give up right away.”

Fiercely independent, courageously vulnerable, and utterly determined, I dared to have a go…

So, I would like to ask you?now to think about the following questions:

1. What defines who you are and how you show up?
2. What characteristics do you ALREADY possess that will enable you to reach your true potential?
3. What or who (including yourself) is holding you back??
4. Are you afraid that, if you try, you will fail? Are you afraid that you will be rejected? Are you afraid of losing control? Are you afraid that you won’t be good enough?

Let the courage to have a go be more important to you than any possible outcome.