Grieving what is no longer there

“The irony of grief is that the person that you need to talk to about how you feel is the person who is no longer here.” (Author unknown)

Through one of the newsletters I receive I found out that this week is grief awareness week. I’m not a therapist though I’ve considered training as one to extend more of a service to people around me. However, I have been in situations where people around me have experienced grief and as family get older, I am experiencing it more and more though I don’t want to tempt fate.

For me one of my worst experiences of grief was when I was at work and I received a phone call from the husband of one of my colleagues. He asked to speak to another colleague of mine and I sensed something was up so I told the colleague to take the call in a private office. A manager who I was very fond of had died of a heart attack and it was her husband who had phoned. This was a woman who shared my birthday though was a few years older and was incredibly hard working. The irony was that she had asked me if she could leave earlier the day before to go shopping with her daughter and I wanted to hug her when she asked that question because there was no need to ask it. I’m actually talking about leaving at 5pm rather than the later hours she was used to working until.

When I found out this news I got busy ringing people that I needed to phone and it was only when I rang my then boyfriend, now husband that I broke down in tears knowing that I would no longer see this woman as I had done everyday for the past few years.

Grief takes us in the strangest of ways and we go through all manner of emotions. Having a yoga practice comes in, in the sense that we can express these emotions in our body and release them through breathing and stretching and also through having a community who you can share experiences and feelings with.

We can also grieve for those who are still leaving. For me I’ve had to cut ties with certain people where the relationship was hurting me and there was no resolution. It still doesn’t make the pain any less though it does improve with time.

There are other elements of grief that I could go into including having a miscarriage and the therapy work I’ve undergone for various issues though when I share these posts it’s in the hope that people can relate somewhat and gain something in it. 

If you are experiencing grief please don’t keep it bottled up. Talk with people you trust or the charity Cruse has a service. https://www.cruse.org.uk/.

#griefawarenessweek, #therapy, #cruse

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