The Grieving Entrepreneur

Where in the world is Sequoyah? Well, guys, she’s in a yet another throw of grief. I swear, every time I feel like I’ve gone through the phases, someone else or something else dies.

This time, it’s my dad.

My dad and I had quite a complicated relationship, one where I just knew I’d know how I would feel and what I’d do when his soul left this earth. Boy was I wrong - I know God is cracking up laughing at the plans I had.

On October 24th, after a year of very poor health, my dad left this earth at 7:30am. Right before my work day started, right before I got on the road to his hometown of Detroit, thinking I had one more day to make it to him. The day was gone, as was he.?

As an entrepreneur, we absorb a LOT of information. We’re taught all the things about business - how to write a business plan, how to get funding, developing audience personas, and making sure our marketing plans tap on the heartstrings of millions of customers. What we aren’t taught is how to handle grief. What happens when you become the grieving entrepreneur?

Nobody told me how to manage dozens of phone calls from the hospitals nor how to unpack this complicated history of being my dad’s only child, and that only child being so far away in every way. Nobody told me there would be days I have deliverables to create and I can barely get out the bed. Nobody told me how much it costs, financially, to deal with an ailing parent - debating between funding their healthcare or your business. Nobody told me how much this shit just sucks. And nobody also prepared me for how Tuesday's election's results could also throw me in a whole different kind of grief - don't get me started..whew!

I feel like I’m losing my mind in so many ways and that this is the worst year of my life. I’ve been pretty transparent on here on how tough this year in business has been in this economy, but I haven’t been as transparent about how I’ve been emotionally. I’m broken, but I’m also healed. What a weird space to be in.

The grieving entrepreneur is the most resilient; one who is reflecting of the past, yet working hard to accept the current. The grieving entrepreneur is trying to figure out how to plan for the future ahead, but function in their current reality of sitting in such a tough loss.

Y’all, I’ve been through some tough shit, but this one takes the cake. I don’t have any cheat codes today, and maybe not for a while (if ever) as I allow myself to slow down, heal, and prioritize what tomorrow looks like. I’m really thankful for my clients who understand, my partners who send kind words and gifts of compassion, and my networking community giving me both physically and virtual hugs - this helps so much. Thank you.

For those who unfortunately are in this fucked up club of Grieving Entrepreneurs, I offer you the following thoughts:

1. Make the therapy appointment; if you can’t go to therapy, try a grief support group at a local church or with your friends who may have experienced a similar loss.
2. Fuck that calendar..cancel as many meetings as you need to. Today is my 2nd week and I’m only taking calls that are of high priority and even higher energy.
3. Rest. I’ve slept the most I’ve slept since starting this business - I need it to restore my soul, because it is the heartbeat of my business.
4. Let people know what you need; for me, I need grace, reminders to eat, and a little more time on my deliverables. I don’t need any pressure to show up at the event, I don’t need a therapy session each interaction (no shade, but I have a therapist), and I need laughs - let’s talk about something beyond my grief.
5. Get out the house if you can. So remember I said rest? Yea, let’s do that, but also lets live too. For me, right now I’m aiming for 5 hours out of the house a day. Some days it’s only 1 hour, some days it’s 6 - I’m giving myself grace to deal with humans as much or as little as I’d like right now. I went to an amazing summit last week, and while I was exhuasted and fighting for my life (lol), I found joy in connecting with like-minded individuals and of course, eating some great food, too!

If you’ve read this far, I thank you for holding space for me. I’m trying not to go into another throw of ugly cries, so I’ll stop the newsletter here…but I do want to honor my dad.

Even in his complexities and flaws, my dad taught me what it meant to dream big and know that I can start a successful business. An ARMY veteran, licensed cosmetologist, educator, truck driver, and so many other careers along the way - whatever he touched, he was great at it, just like me. However, I know I must be consistent, plan those dreams, and approach them with vigor - something he wasn’t always able to do. My dad dreamed big, and unfortunately, so many of his amazing ideas and dreams never manifested into reality. So now, it’s up to me, his only child, to carry his spirit; and it is my highest honor to do so.