Grief : An Unspoken Truth About Resistance to Change

A Story About Change, Grief, and Growth

Recently, I was brought in to work with a leadership team navigating a significant organizational change. The company was undergoing a major restructuring—new leadership, new roles, and a shift in strategic focus. On the surface, it seemed like a strategic initiative by the senior leadership to adapt to market demands.

When I received the pre session survey results from the leaders that would be attending my change leadership session it was clear that there was major tension and uncertainty about the direction the company was heading.

In the first of a series of change sessions the leaders sat stiffly, their faces a mix of uncertainty and doubt.

As I started the session I encouraged openness and creating a safe environment for sharing. I set up the goals of the session and began to review the pre session survey, when one leader, Rebecca, voiced what everyone was thinking: “This feels like we’re losing everything that made this company special.”

Her words hung in the air. I could see heads nodding subtly, eyes darting nervously. Beneath the surface of the practical challenges, I could see and sense that lay something deeper— fear and grief. Fear of losing what was and grief due to loss of connection, autonomy and culture.

I thanked Rebecca for having the courage to speak the truth of what the change feels like and for opening the dialogue on how the changes were impacting themselves and their teams.

The Unspoken Reality of Change

Change, even when it’s positive, often comes with a sense of loss. For this team, the restructuring felt like the end of an era.

Rebecca continued, “I’ve been here for over a decade. I built this team. I built relationships with people who are no longer here. And now I don’t even know if my role will look the same.”

I could see others resonating with her words. Another leader chimed in, “It’s not just about the job—it’s the culture, the way we used to collaborate. That’s all changing.”

What they were describing wasn’t just resistance to change; it was grief. They were mourning the loss of familiarity, relationships, and identity tied to what the company used to be.

Creating Space for Grief

In that moment, I knew we needed to shift gears. Instead of starting into the change leadership strategies, I invited them to reflect and share what they felt they were losing.

I encouraged open dialogue about the fear and grief that is part of change. Allowing space for open processing about the impact of change allows for the grief to be acknowledged as part of the change process.

I asked, “What is it you feel sad, loss or grief about right now?”

At first, there was hesitation. Difficult emotions and specifically grief aren't often talked about or acknowledged in the workplace. However you could feel the power of space and freedom to share permeate the room. Slowly, they began to open up:

“I miss the camaraderie we had before the pandemic shifted everything.”

“I’m worried I won’t be valued in this new structure.”

"I miss the ease and familiarity I had with my previous leader".

As they spoke, the energy in the room changed. What started as resistance shifted to open communication and vulnerability. They were no longer resisting change—they were processing the losses that came with it.

Honoring the Past to Move Forward

Once everyone had shared, I guided them through an exercise to share what they felt they were losing.

Through a polling app they were able to share what they appreciated about the old way of working—everything from specific leaders to traditions and even inside jokes that defined their culture. Some of the responses included:

“The way we celebrated every win together, big or small.”

“How it seemed easier to use the previous system compared to the new technology.”

The polling responses on screen included memories, values, and moments that mattered to them. It was a way to visually acknowledge what they missed without clinging to the past.

Finding Meaning in the Loss

Once grief was acknowledged, we could shift the focus.

I asked them, “What do these memories and values tell us about who we are as leaders, as teams and as a company?”

They began to see that while certain things were changing, the essence of what they valued didn’t have to be lost.

We shifted to focus on the possibilities that could come with the changes ahead.

? Collaboration was still possible, even in a new structure.

? Celebrating wins could continue, even if it looked different.

? Valuing relationships could remain central, even with new colleagues and roles.

Rebecca summed it up beautifully: “It’s not about forgetting the past; it’s about carrying forward what made us great while being open to new possibilities.”

A Shift in Perspective

By the end of the session, the team’s energy had shifted. What started as a room filled with resistance transformed into one of hope , possibility and curiosity.

I won’t pretend that all the challenges disappeared after one conversation. However, acknowledging their grief gave them the space to process their emotions, connect with each other, and begin to see the positive potential of change ahead.

As I left, Rebecca stopped me. She said, “I’ve been through a lot of changes in my career, but this is the first time someone made space for how it feels. It’s a game-changer.”

The Leadership Lesson

This experience reinforced something I deeply believe: Grief is an essential part of change, and acknowledging it is a leadership superpower.

In my book, Super.Crucial.Human, I talk about the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership. Recognizing grief is one of the most human things a leader can do. It builds trust, fosters connection, and creates the conditions for real transformation.

So the next time you lead a team through change, pause to ask:

? What might they be grieving?

? How can you create space to honor what’s being left behind?

? How can you help them find meaning in the loss and carry forward what matters most?

Change is never just about strategy; it’s about humanity. And when we embrace that, we unlock the potential for growth—not just for our teams, but for ourselves as leaders.

Have you ever experienced grief during a workplace change? How did it affect you or your team? I’d love to hear your stories and insights. Let’s start a conversation about how we can lead with empathy, connection, and courage—because to navigate change one key success factor is to embrace that The Future is Human.