Grief Recovery

Remembering My Grandfather

This is my grandfather, Douglas H Lamb. He died 40 years ago on this day. I was 20 years old at the time. I can remember vividly hearing the news. It was such a shock and a huge loss. It was my first significant experience of grieving and though the loss was immense, the process of grieving was transformative.?

A Remarkable Man and His Legacy

My grandfather was from New Jersey, he moved to the UK sometime in the 1930's. He was a remarkable man. In this picture, he is wearing his Empire medal (It's called the MBE these days) which was awarded as a result of his service to youth. He has started a sailing school on the River Blackwater on the 1950's where he taught youngsters to sail and as the warden of the local Youth Hostel arranged for poor inner city children to come and stay and run sailing sessions for them.?

An Inspirational Quaker

He was a Quaker and well known in the area. A close friend of Eric Baker, founder of Amnesty International and CND. Such was their relationship that my grandparents are buried next to Eric and his wife Joyce in the Quaker meeting House burial ground in Maldon.?

He and my grandmother were instrumental in many CND events during the 1950's, 60's and 70's, their presence often a calming influence on the zealous youths ensuring that things didn't escalate beyond reasonable protest.

Life Lessons from Grandfather

For me, he taught me to sail, I have vivid memories of family Christmas gatherings at the youth hostel where every conceivable family member from near and far congregated for a few days over Christmas for a few days. In my teenage years as music was an important part of my world, he introduced me to the blues, protest folk music and English folk. Artists such Blind Lemon Jefferson, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson, Woody Guthrie, Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, Fairport Convention, Planxty, Pentangle, The Incredible String Band broadened my musical pallette and expanded the landscape of possibilities as a musician.

Most of all he was the best listener I have ever known. He had a way of creating a safe space for you to talk and speak what was on your mind without trying to fix you, he would just ask questions that would help you process and come to your own conclusions.

He had a profound influence on my worldview, my creative work, my decision to work in the charity sector for almost 20 years, my passion for the environment, my work ethic and the way I work on my emotional landscape and interior life. All of which I am truly grateful for.

Grief: A Universal Experience

Grief is something we all experience at some points in life and it's not limited to the loss of a person that you are close to, it can be it can stem from a multitude of experiences - the end of a relationship, the loss of a pet, a career setback, a missed opportunity, or any great sense of loss in life.

The Impact of Unchecked Grief

Unchecked grief can cast a shadow over our lives, affecting our well-being, relationships, and productivity.

Honouring through Grief

Grief is a way to honour and remember the person or thing that was lost. It helps keep the memories alive and allows for reflection on the significance of that relationship or experience.

Personal Growth through Grief

Grieving often leads to personal growth. It can make individuals more resilient, empathetic, and self-aware. People often discover inner strength and coping skills they didn't know they had.

Grief's Unifying Power

Grief can bring people together. It often fosters a sense of community and support among family and friends who share the grieving process. It can deepen existing relationships and lead to more meaningful connections.

Reevaluating Priorities

Grief can prompt individuals to reevaluate their priorities and values. It can lead to a greater appreciation for life and a clearer understanding of what truly matters.

Empathy and Compassion

Having experienced grief can make individuals more compassionate and understanding towards others who are grieving. It fosters empathy and a willingness to offer support to others in their time of need.

Building Resilience

Overcoming grief can build resilience. It teaches individuals how to adapt to life's challenges and bounce back from adversity.

Self-Discovery through Grief

Grief can be an opportunity for self-discovery. It encourages individuals to reflect on their own identity, needs, and desires, leading to personal growth and self-improvement.

Creative Expression in Grief

Some people use creative outlets like writing, art, or music as a means of processing and expressing their grief. This can lead to powerful and healing forms of self-expression.

Finding Meaning in Loss

Ultimately, grieving can help individuals find meaning in their loss. It may inspire them to engage in activities, causes, or relationships that hold special significance or to seek a deeper understanding of life's mysteries.

The Immeasurable Payoff of Grief Recovery

The payoff of going through the grief recovery process is immeasurable. While it's undoubtedly a difficult and painful journey, it ultimately leads to healing and growth.

By facing and working through your grief, you gain a sense of closure and acceptance, allowing you to move forward with your life. This process can bring a profound sense of peace, emotional resilience, and a renewed ability to engage fully in life's joys and challenges.

It empowers you to honour the memory of what was lost while opening the door to new possibilities and a brighter future. Grief recovery is a transformative process that can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and a greater capacity for love, compassion, and connection with others.

Reach Out for Support

DM me if you would like some help in this area. Alternately make contact with my friend and former colleague Tammy Fleming who does some great work in this area.