Grief is Real

There comes a time in the grief process where the great waves of sorrow pull you under. You are thrashed about to the extremes & wonder if you will survive.?

It is during this time where you must surrender to the ebb & flow of the current.

You must metaphorically fall upon the ocean floor & let the weight of the loss consume you.?

In all the losses I have experienced & guiding others through their grief process, I have seen this time & time again.

There is a point where you do not want to go on without your beloved.?

THIS IS NORMAL!

I am at this point

My mom died almost 6 months ago, my father 5.5 weeks ago

Yesterday I curled up sobbing upon my bed, with one of my dad’s Hawaiian shirts.

“Dad, come back. I miss you.”

This is normal.

Part of me does not want to go on without him

We were so close

His voice still reverberates within my ears

How do I exist without him?

Who am I without him?

He was an essential part of my soul

A huge chunk of my heart has been torn off after his death.?

Yes, I know his spirit is still with me.

People tell me this & while I appreciate the sentiment,

it’s important to acknowledge this vast emptiness I feel now that he’s lost his physical form.

I was not ready for him to go

I wanted more time with him.

It’s VITALLY IMPORTANT to acknowledge the hole in your heart that you feel after each loss.

If you side step this process, distract yourself with busyness & numb the consuming grief, you will not completely release it.

Give it time to feel it all.

Grief is a process.

I let myself fall to pieces

I feel empty

Alone

No one can touch the pain in my heart after my dad’s death, but me

It is my grief, that must be felt, acknowledged and then released.

After I am able to feel it and release it, then I can let it go.

The more I refuse to feel it, I will be just a shadow of myself, numbly going through my day’s chores, half alive & barely existing.

Grief is verdant

Full of life

Fire

Flammable emotion

Water

Tears of transformation

Grief is an acknowledgment of how deeply you loved

Grief is real

So, while I cry elephant tears of loss over my father & the warm Hawaiian rain pours upon my roof, I tell you this: all your emotions are valid and must be felt. This is what it truly is to be human.

Your emotions are a gift to help transform you. They are a pathway to finding balance within yourself. They are meant to be temporary.

Feel it

Get the message behind it

Release it

And go back to the silent wonder of your life.

This life is a gift,

In all it’s magnificent forms.