Grief and Loss: How to Support a loved one when you don’t know what to do

Grief can leave us feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to do or say to support a loved one coping with loss. If you’ve ever felt helpless in the face of someone’s grief, you’re not alone.

It’s common to feel uncomfortable around grief and how to support someone who is coping with loss. There are many ways to support your friend or loved one during this difficult time. Your presence and your support can make such a big difference, even if you don’t have all the answers.

In this blog post, we will share practical tips for helping your loved one while coping with loss.

Afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing to support a loved one cope with loss?

Many people tend to avoid reaching out to someone who is experiencing a loss because they are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. They may worry that they will make the situation worse. Avoiding the situation can actually be more harmful than helpful. It can leave your loved one feeling isolated and unsupported.

One way to overcome this fear is to acknowledge it and accept that it’s okay to not have all the answers. Your presence and ability to listen can be a powerful way to support your loved one. It can also be helpful to educate yourself on grief.

When Marissa lost her father, she shared that the support she received from friends, family, and even colleagues made such a difference in her grieving process. She remembers how impactful it was to even receive a simple emoji to let her know they were there for her. It reminded her that she wasn’t alone.

Here are 7 Tips for Providing Support to your loved one in Coping with Grief and Loss

Offer practical support

When someone is grieving, the smallest task can seem overwhelming. Offer to help with day-to-day tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and running errands. This can really help to alleviate some of the stress your loved one might be feeling.

Be specific when offering support. Rather than saying “Let me know if you need anything,” offer specific ways to help, such as bringing over a meal or running errands.

Be present

By being there for your loved one, you can provide a lot of comfort. Let them know that you are there for them and are willing to listen and support them through this difficult time.

Listen

When your loved one wants to talk, listen without providing advice or trying to ‘fix things’. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care.

Be patient

Grieving is a process and it can take time for your loved one to come to terms with their loss. Have patience and understanding. Avoid putting pressure on them to “get over it” or “move on”.

Encourage self-care

Grieving can take a toll on both the mind and body. Encourage your loved one to engage in self-care practices that they would find helpful, such as meditation, journaling, or seeking therapy. Encourage them to set small goals and celebrate each accomplishment, even if it is as simple as taking a walk or taking a shower. Remind them to be patient with themselves and to take breaks when needed. You can offer to join in on self-care activities together as a way to connect and show support for your loved one.

Avoid clichés

Even though there are good intentions, phrases such as “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place” can be unhelpful and even hurtful to someone who is grieving.

Instead, offer words of empathy and support such as, “I’m here for you, and I care about you”, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here to listen”, “I don’t have the right words, but I want you to know that I’m thinking of you”, or “I’m here to support you in any way you need”.

Seek professional help if needed

Grief can be overwhelming and if your loved one is struggling to cope, encourage them to seek professional help through therapy or counseling. There are also many grief support groups available.?

Grief is a complex process and there is no set timeline for healing. By being present, offering support, and being patient, you can support your friend or loved one navigate this difficult time.

It’s important to let them know that they’re not alone. Your presence and support can make a significant difference in their healing journey.

Additional Resources to help support your loved one cope with grief and loss

If you grow concerned about someone’s mental well-being and/or want guidance in order to offer resources, you can text the Crisis Text Line 741741 or contact the National Association of Mental Illness Helpline, Monday – Friday from 10 am – 6 pm at 1-800-950-6264.

If a grieving friend or family member starts talking about death, dying, or expressing any thoughts to harm yourself – seek help immediately. Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/hr 800-273-8255.