Black Thursday

On a business trip to India and I’ve been awake since 12:35 am. Couldn’t sleep after I saw a notification on my phone about a shooting at a California high school. I was for a few minutes shocked because my daughter too studies in a California high school which is named just that – California High School and I was worried about her. Through the bad internet connectivity here, it took me a few minutes to read the news and to feel relieved that the shooting was not at my daughter’s school but one at Saugus High in Santa Clarita, just north of Los Angeles.

While I was relieved, I was deeply saddened and angered by yet another episode of violence in our schools – targeting kids who have not been given the chance to bloom and live their life to the fullest extent possible.

My thoughts first went out to that 16 year old girl (the same age as my daughter) and the 14 year old boy, who would have woken up early to get ready and attend school completely oblivious to the fact that they would not be returning home alive. They would have started the day full of plans for the day, the weekend, perhaps plans for college admissions and a bright career ahead. Dreams crushed, they left this world in a singularly horrific act of violence which they would never have imagined to be part of. Parents, siblings and siblings of these two precious children, who woke up to a normal day would never be normal again as they see their offspring lifeless. As Theoden, in the Lord of the Rings, said with great grief, “No parent should have to bury their child”. It is a sad day, one that these parents will re-live every single day of their lives.

My thoughts went out to the children who attend the school. I deliberately use the word children because they are just that – our children - not some distant student in some school. The horror of the spectacle, the deep terror that they could be the next victim, the helplessness to save one of their own and the guilt as to why it was not them but one of their closest friends will be etched in their memory for a lifetime, affecting them deeply.

My thoughts then went out to the suspect with great sadness. A 15 year old perpetrating a violent crime like this … no explanations can suffice. Imagine the grief to his parents, immediate family and even to his girlfriend. Imagine them being the object of hatred in a society, fingers being pointed at them, people accusing them loudly, their acquaintances and friends talking about them in hushed tones – it is a life sentence for them too. I do not want to speculate on what caused this young child of ours to behave in this fashion. What pushed him over the edge? What fantasy was he trying to live out? What demons was he trying to drive out? Was it bullying? Was it loneliness? Was it addiction? Was it some injustice? Was it failure or the fear of failure? Was it jealousy? There can be many other reasons – I do not want to speculate. We might find the reason, part of the reason or perhaps never, but what will not change is that we lost 3 children today – a 14 year old, a 15 year old and a 16 year old.

Are we part of the problem. I am sure the political rhetoric will start to weigh in now. Pro-gun / Anti-gun proponents will be out in full force attacking or defending each other. I think the problem is bigger. I think the problem is us.

What kind of an example are we setting for our children. What kind of role models are we to them. We live in a world where we think it is alright to bully others. Kick them when they are already down. Call them heinous names every time we do not agree with others. When will we stop hurting people with our words. We may not teach this to our children but when we behave in such a fashion with other adults – remember our children are watching us and they will think it is alright to do so – because mom and dad think it is ok to do so. Some interesting words of advice from a person who many consider to have been a wise person – King Solomon says these words in Proverbs 11:12 “It is foolish to belittle a neighbor; a person with good sense remains silent.”

I understand people wanting to have guns for self protection, but why hoard them? I have read of instances where people have multiple guns. Yes, I also understand that you might use them for sport but can’t you secure them properly so that folks who do not yet have the mental capacity to use them appropriately (whether of legal age or not) do not have access to them? Assault weapons – in my opinion these are not meant for civilian use. We need better sense other wise Columbine, Parkland, Sandy Hook, Saugus will just be the beginning and we will see more of these senseless acts. It will become so common, that people will just move on. I hope that our hearts will not get hardened so.

Mental health is an issue that will be pointed out too, especially by folks who tell that guns do not kill, people do. Mental health in a lot of ways begins at home and nurtured in society. How caring are we to our children. In a digital age, how much time do we really spend with our children? Do our children come to us with issues that they struggle to deal with? Are we creating an atmosphere of acceptance and gentle guidance or do we approach our children with authority and sheer instruction. How does the community live and accept people they way they are, irrespective of their beliefs and lifestyles?

A lot of questions to ponder upon. I hope we do not get to see another Saugus. I hope we can be an agent of peace, starting with our home, our community, our society.

And yes, its ok to shed tears over what happened today. I did.