Grey Divorce Syndrome on the Rise

An expat lifestyle can take a huge toll on a marriage for many different reasons.? Lifestyle and children are often the glue that hold a marriage together, but once these are removed, there might be nothing left to hold on to.?

Divorce by those in their 50s and beyond, after a long-term marriage, is becoming more and more common in all sectors of the population – but particularly amongst those who have experienced life overseas.

?“Gray divorce was relatively uncommon in 1970 and grew only modestly until 1990. In 1990, 8.7% of marriages among people over age 50 ended in divorce. By 2019, that number had grown to 36%.” (The Graying of Divorce: A Half Century of Change: Susan L Brown, PhD,?I-Fen Lin, PhD)

Whereas reasons given for divorce amongst younger couples include incompatible parenting styles, difficult relatives, or infidelity, older divorcees are more likely to split due to empty nest syndrome, and differing approaches to retirement planning.

Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty nest syndrome is experienced as an acute loss, when the children have finally left for university, or to begin their own lives, and parents realise that they have drifted apart, with very little left in common.? In this case, the children were the glue that held the marriage together, and once that glue has gone, there is no reason to stay together.?

Retirement Planning

When it comes to differing approaches to retirement planning, this can take the form of financial planning – or lack thereof, or a different approach to what each partner wants to do with their life-in-retirement.? The glue here is often the busyness of working life, and the challenges experienced jointly as a couple by life overseas.? Once those are removed, it becomes necessary to create a whole new life, relationship, and future!

Divorce inevitably takes a massive financial toll, and those closer to retirement age have less time to recover.? Rather than fighting over custody of the kids, older couples are more likely to argue over the division of pension plans and retirement savings – and this can mean the difference between living the life-in-retirement that you dream of, and just getting by with the necessities!

Preparing for the Future

Once you recognise the challenging times that might lie ahead, there are ways to reduce the risk of it ending in divorce.? The first is actually knowing what you want your life-in-retirement to look like – and then communicating your thoughts, and talking them through with your partner, well ahead of time.

Should we talk?

If the ‘retirement’ conversation seems like something you would rather avoid, and ignore, then we should certainly talk about why that is, and what we can do about it.? After all, you don’t want to be another ‘grey divorce’ statistic, do you?

About Me

I work with expats to help them overcome anxieties about retirement, so they can properly prepare for it, and look forward to the future ahead.?