The Grey area

In a world obsessed with black-and-white answers, where’s the room for grey? You know, that fuzzy space where we don’t quite get someone’s story but choose to care anyway. After all, life isn’t a puzzle to solve but a mosaic of messy, mismatched moments.

We’re all protagonists in our own dramas, yet we forget others are too.??

So, when a friend, family member or colleague shares a struggle, do we scramble to relate or rush to fix it? Maybe not. Maybe empathy is less about connecting dots and more about holding space for dots we’ll never understand.? When someone shares their story, our first instinct is to match it with ours: “Oh, I tripped once too!” But what if their stumble feels like a freefall? That’s when empathy steps in, not to fix, but to hold space. You don’t need identical scars to say, “That sounds tough.”? ? ?

This Valentine’s week, I’m adopting two habits to embrace the grey:? ? ?

1. Ears before opinions. When someone shares a story that I can’t relate to, I imagine my job is to wrap their words in warmth, not wisdom. No advice, no “Oh, I’ve been there!” Just, “Tell me more.” Sometimes, a cozy pause speaks louder than solutions.        

 2. Question the script. I ask open-ended questions like “What did that feel like? —to explore their experience without assuming I know the terrain. It’s like being a tourist in their emotions, not a guide.?        

Empathy isn’t about solving the puzzle; it’s sitting beside someone while they figure it out or just leaning in, even when the view is blurry. Seek the grey areas—where love isn’t red roses but the courage to say, “I don’t get it, but I’m here.”??