The Green Eyed Monster

Sometimes in conversations themes occur, and this last week it has been around ‘envy’ and ‘jealousy’. It is something we all experience, and I had a few friends talking with me recently about their current feelings around jealousy and envy.

Often I find that when one feels these strong emotional responses it’s because the other person symbolises something for us about our own sense of lack. Professional jealousy for example, over someone who has that ‘perfect’ job or who just got a whole bundle of investment funding. Someone who presents as being successful in their new business venture, someone who has set up their own record label, art gallery or online fashion company.

I discovered that within my own exploration of feelings of jealousy and envy was to question ‘why’? Why did I feel this way? What is it that the other person has that I think I want? I delve in further with more questioning. If it is something I want, then why can’t I have it? How does this serve me?

Part of it is moving away from that idea of scarcity – and finding out what it is that you are missing from your life that informs such an emotional response. There really is enough to go around. Just because this person got that ‘perfect’ job or appears to be shiny and happy in their #instalyf, doesn’t mean that you miss out.

If that person is ‘succeeding’ in a way that you respond passionately to then this is something you could be exploring as an option for yourself. Perhaps your envy comes from you not actually doing what it is you should be doing. The strength of your jealousy could be impelling you to take that step yourself.

Use these moments to get you back on track on what matters to you, where your values lie and be honest. Sometimes as well we don’t see what that other person has gone through to achieve this, we miss out on the behind the scenes narrative and see the Hollywood ending.