Written By: Dr. Rich Houston, Director of the Culverhouse School of Accountancy
Because students cycle in and out over the years, many of you may not have not read what I wrote in the past. This week, I’m rerunning a deep cut (from 9/16/21), but I’d rather think of it in terms of this somewhat deceptive language that I’ve seen TV networks use: “If you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you.” I promise I’ll never say, “special encore presentation” but I guess I just did.
I asked the MAcc students to comment on a quote by the author Donald Westlake that I thought might relate to what some of you are feeling. Although the quote is about despair, many turned this seemingly gloomy topic into something quite encouraging. Westlake wrote:
“May knew John had a very bad tendency, when things got unusually difficult, to sink with an almost sensuous pleasure into a warm bath of despair. Once you’ve handed the reins over to despair, to mix a metaphor just a teeny bit, your job is done. You don’t have to sweat it anymore; you’ve taken yourself out of the game. Despair is the bench, and you are warming it.”
- It’s so easy to give in to despair and avoid the hard things in life. However, I think it’s much more beautiful to grind through the difficult seasons to sharpen your character. Perseverance engenders growth and, while things may seem impossible right now, fight through it. As the wise Dory once said, “just keep swimming.”
- I think that feeling overwhelmed often sends people into a cycle of mediocrity. When things get tough, there can be a feeling of fight or flight, and sometimes the thing that keeps us from being successful is leaning towards flight and allowing ourselves to sulk. However, the only thing that can make you successful and happy is picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and learning from your experience. We must remain positive and strive to give our best because, if we give in, the game is over and we will lose.
- Here’s an analogy using the way I played tournament golf when I was younger. Whenever I wasn’t playing well, I would pout, not care as much, and constantly tell myself about how bad I was. In hindsight, I realize the horrible impact that this despair had on my golf game. I was still playing, but I had given up a few holes into the round. What would have served me better is taking a deep breath, shaking it off, and telling myself I’m going to hit it perfectly on each shot from then on.
- Often, people are comfortable in misery. Being happy means putting in work—I am happy when I do well in school, see my friends, eat well and exercise, and do things that I enjoy. Because all these things take work and discipline, it is in some ways easier to be depressed and sulky. It becomes a built-in excuse for not putting the effort into the things that will make me happy. As hard as it can be to put in the effort, even impossible some days, I find that not giving up is the most important thing. If I can summon even a little bit of energy to put into something, I can accomplish a lot.
- This semester has really taught me the importance of being proactive in my life. In the past, I fell into a place of despair because I was going with the flow instead of evaluating what I really wanted in life and going after it. I haven’t reached the finish line, but I have felt significantly happier after I have decided to engage in the race.?
- Throughout my entire undergraduate experience, I thought that I could rely on myself, so I chose not to reach out to others, not to ask for help, and to do everything myself. Is this strategy enjoyable? No, but it was less scary than trying to make friends or get help. I regret doing this for the past four years because I limited my opportunity to make those college memories that everyone else has. Because I tended to perform well academically, I didn’t see clear signs that my strategy wasn’t working. However, I now realize how badly I craved connections with other students and faculty. I’m so glad that I finally decided to seek people out and build those memories, and in doing so I have enriched my life and learned that it’s never too late to start.
- I know a lot of people who tend to spiral when things start to go badly. Something bad happens at work, you get a bad grade, a friend blows you off, and then something else inconvenient happens. You think to yourself, “I am so dumb, no one likes me, I am a total screw-up.” Although these events are not connected, we still connect them. I cope with it by telling myself, “you are allowed to be upset about this for two hours; after that, you are going to be fine.”
- People who expect to lose languish in the loss that they prematurely accept. They absolutely love to throw a pity party and soak in the metaphorical tub of despair. People that are successful grind it out. Yes it can be tough, but the important thing is that you’re still the one in the arena. You have lost the moment that you accept defeat. What is most important is that you continue the fight, perhaps alter your strategy, and maintain positivity.
