The Greatest Fear in Modern Times Is the Fear of What Other People Think

Why judgment holds you back and how you can overcome it.

People will always have their opinions, but their opinions don’t have to be your reality.

This lesson has taken me until today, years old, (now) to find out. The weight of other people’s judgment is heavy. So heavy that it can stop us in our tracks, and we instead remain in the shadows rather than take risks.

“People aren’t afraid to start their dreams — they are just embarrassed to be seen starting small.” — Brendan Bouchard.

One reason why the fear of what other people think has become so prevalent is the rise of social media platforms, which allow individuals to showcase their lives and receive feedback from others on a continuous basis.

The fear of other people’s thoughts, also known as social anxiety or social phobia, is common in modern times. This fear can be attributed to several factors, including:

-The increasing emphasis on social media and online presence (likes, fans, and comments)

-A society that places a high value on popularity and success (analytics, status, and views)

-And the pressure to conform to social norms and expectations. (trends, groups, and cancel culture)

This constant scrutiny and evaluation create a fear of judgment and rejection as people become more invested in their online personas and the image they project to the world.

In addition, modern society places a high value on popularity and success, and people are often judged based on their achievements and social status. This pressure can create a fear of failure and a need to constantly perform and prove oneself to others — like a circus act.

Society has certain expectations for how people should behave, dress, and interact with others, and those who deviate from these norms can face criticism and rejection.

This is an ongoing challenge in our modern times and throughout history.

The good news is that there are ways to overcome it. I won’t promise you won’t fall victim to other judgments ever again, but you will have strategies to help overcome them.

I like the story of Katherine Graham’s business success as an example of overcoming judgment:

Katharine Graham was the first female CEO of a Fortune 500 company and the publisher of The Washington Post. She inherited the newspaper from her father, and despite her lack of experience in the business world, she took charge and transformed the newspaper into a leading publication.

However, in the early years of her leadership, Graham struggled with the fear of what others thought of her abilities. She felt intimidated by the male-dominated business world and often doubted her own decision-making.

One of the defining moments in Graham’s career came during the publication of the Pentagon Papers, a top-secret government report that revealed the true nature of the Vietnam War. The government tried to block the publication of the papers, and The Washington Post faced immense pressure to abandon the story.

Graham was torn between her duty to report the truth and the fear of legal and financial repercussions for the newspaper. She consulted with lawyers, advisors, and other publishers, but ultimately, the decision was hers.

Ultimately, Graham chose to publish the papers, despite the risk to her reputation and the newspaper’s financial stability. She faced backlash from the government and other media outlets but stood by her decision and defended the right to a free press.

Through this experience, Graham learned to trust her instincts and not let the fear of what others thought to hold her back. She realized that sometimes, taking a stand and doing what’s right is more important than appeasing others or avoiding criticism.

Graham’s bold decision to publish the Pentagon Papers cemented her legacy as a trailblazer in journalism. In addition, it inspired generations of women to pursue leadership roles and not let the fear of what others think to hinder their progress.

Overcoming the fear of what others think can be a challenging process, but it is possible with the right strategies and mindset. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Recognize everyone has insecurities: It’s important to remember that everyone has insecurities and worries about what others think of them. You are not alone in feeling this way. It is always a humbling experience when I talk to high-level professionals and find out they have insecurities like me.
2. Challenge negative thoughts: The fear of what others think is often fueled by negative self-talk and assumptions about what others may be thinking. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are accurate and if there is evidence to support them.
3. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. Acknowledge your feelings and fears without judgment, and treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Give yourself the gift of grace .
4. Focus on your values: Identify your core values and what is truly important to you. When you focus on these values, you can shift your attention away from the opinions of others and toward your own goals and aspirations.
5. Build a supportive network: Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and support you in your goals and aspirations. This can provide a sense of validation and encouragement that can help you overcome the fear of what others think.
6. Take small steps: Overcoming the fear of what others think is a process that takes time and effort. Start by taking small steps, such as expressing your opinions in a safe environment or trying new things that challenge your comfort zone.

Remember, overcoming the fear of what others think is not about eliminating all concerns about others’ opinions but instead learning to manage these feelings and not allowing them to control your actions and decisions. You can learn to overcome this fear and live a more fulfilling life with patience and persistence.

All the best.

Reading Time

Here are five recommended books on overcoming the fear of judgment that should serve you well:

1. “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown: This book explores how vulnerability can be a strength and helps readers build resilience to shame and criticism.
2. “The Courage to Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga: This book presents the principles of Adlerian psychology and explains how to overcome the fear of social judgment and live a fulfilling life.
3. “The Art of Possibility” by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander offers a perspective shift on approaching challenges and finding joy and fulfillment in life, despite the fear of judgment.
4. “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain explores the power of introverts and how to harness their strengths in a world that often values extroversion.
5. “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers: This book provides practical advice on overcoming fear and anxiety and taking action towards achieving your goals, despite the fear of judgment.

These books offer different approaches and strategies for overcoming the fear of judgment, and each can provide valuable insights and inspiration for readers on this topic. Of course, no one size fits all, but at least you will have options.

Please remember:

?People will always have their opinions, but their opinions don’t have to be your?reality.

Take care.

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