The Greatest Ass Chewing I Ever Got

There is one man that taught me more about leadership and the difference between selfishness and selflessness. There is a BIG difference. This happened in 1979 at the headquarters building for the 1st Battalion, 4th Marines at what was then known as the Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center at Twentynine Palms, CA. Here’s the story…

Corporal Moore was a good looking Marine.?He looked good in uniform, had excellent military bearing, and could handle an M-16 very well.?Sergeant Major Smith, the Battalion Sergeant Major selected Corporal Moore to serve on the Battalion Color Guard for 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment.?Corporal Moore was a great addition to the Battalion Color Guard. Being on the color guard is an honor and a very big deal.?The trouble is, Corporal Moore did not want to be on the color guard.

Corporal Moore served with me in the battalion S-1 shop. That equates to personnel or human resources. I was the S-1 and Battalion Adjutant (HR Director in civilian terms).?While both of us were infantrymen by Military Occupational Specialty (MOS), we both found ourselves in S-1.?He had also been in my very first rifle platoon when the battalion was at Camp Hanson in Okinawa, Japan 1977.?

We knew each other well so when Corporal Moore came to me to complain about being on the battalion color guard and having to go to parade practice, I listened and took action that I will explain shortly.

Our battalion commander, Lt. Col. Thomas F, Meehan was a decorated veteran of the war in Vietnam. He flew observation planes back then before switching to infantry.

We called him “Tank”.?Tank was nearly as wide as he was tall and played football as a lineman for Boston University.?He also was an FBI agent at one time somewhere in his career.?Tank was from the Bronx in New York and had the accent to go with it.

He was given command of the 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division after we arrived in Twentynine Palms taking over from Lt. Col. McIver.

I do not recall who was coming to the Marine base at Twentynine Palms that was so important that a full, all units, parade and review would be staged.?Like all things USMC, there would be meetings, much planning, and many rehearsals to affect and execute a proper parade befitting the USMC and the person standing in review of all units on the base. It could have been the Commandant himself. It doesn’t really matter now.

What does matter is that Corporal Moore did not want to go to parade practice because we were busy, all of us behind in our work, more work coming, understaffed, limited resources, and taking the time to go to a parade practice for all unit commanders and their complete color guards was silly and a huge waste of time, manpower, and energy.?

I agreed because Corporal Moore was right, we did have a lot of work, we had an important operation coming up soon, and time was of the essence. So, I told Corporal Moore he did not have to attend parade practice and to go get his work done.

Later that day, Sergeant Major Smith came to my workspace that I shared with two sergeants and one staff sergeant and asked me why Corporal Moore was absent from parade practice.?I told Sergeant Major Smith that Corporal Moore was busy, we had work to do and work to get done. Further, we were running out of time to get it done and something like parade practice was an unnecessary intrusion upon our completing our mission.?

Sergeant Major Smith, the highest-ranking enlisted man in the battalion, told me that the Lt. Col. Meehan was not very happy that Corporal Moore was absent from parade practice to which I retorted that I would deal with the colonel later.

I have no idea how much time passed. The battalion command post was its normal very noisy place. That is, until Tank Meehan exploded into the building upon entering his office from a doorway in the back of the CP.

It was at that exact point in time that whatever demon that was sitting on my shoulder whispering to me that Corporal Moore was truly too busy to go to parade practice and that we had work and better things to do than screw with some silly parade practice……..disappeared, vanished, gone…and I was all alone.

To say that Lt. Col. Meehan was livid would be an understatement!?LIEUTENANT NORRIS! GET YOUR FIRETRUCKING ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW!?He really didn’t say “firetrucking” however you can guess as to what word he actually used.

Livid, mad, angry, pissed off, furious, at the same time all raised to the 10th power would still be an understatement.?His anger was more on the scale of a several megaton nuclear explosions.?

I don’t remember whether I walked or ran to his office.?I do remember that I found myself locked in the position of attention in front of Tank’s desk with Tank between me and his desk, his nose to my nose, face to face, eyeball to eyeball.

This was without a doubt the greatest ass chewing I have ever received in my life.?My USMC career was passing before my eyes. My number two ass chewing pales in comparison.

Tank was screaming at me. It was the kind of ass chewing where questions are screamed at you and there is no correct answer. You just become more wrong.?Spit and sweat flying, neck veins throbbing, eyes bulging out, Tank reamed me like nothing ever before and nothing ever since.

Not only had I embarrassed him and the 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, I had single handedly brought down the wrath of the “Tasmanian Devil” himself, Col. Turley, the Base G-3. ?

The Commanding General, Brigadier General Glasgow saw the battalion color guard was incomplete.

He chewed out Colonel Bolden, the Chief of Staff.

The Chief of Staff chewed out the G-3, Col. Turley.

Col. Turley chewed out Tank.

Now Tank was letting me have it. ?Not only did shit roll downhill, shit rolled downhill like an avalanche right on top of me.

I had allowed my own selfish interest and short sightedness brought on by my own arrogant, egotistical, cocky self-centeredness to come before the needs of the Battalion and in the process had personally and singlehandedly and irreparably tarnished and damaged the good name of the 1st Battalion, 4th Marines, 3rd Marine Division in front of the entire base including several dignitaries straphanging to watch the rehearsal.

I was dead. I was standing there overrun by a full-frontal assault delivered by the man who held my entire USMC career (and certain male body parts) in his hands. ?No matter what I said, I was wrong. Dead wrong! Not only dead wrong, dead firetrucking wrong and my ass was being ground into dog meat because of my selfishness and not thinking.

This, by the way, is how people get unnecessarily hurt or killed in combat operations. ?I, without a doubt, was the sorriest excuse of a Marine Officer that the Marine Corps had ever seen. ?At the time, I had to at least silently agree.

I was told later the ass chewing lasted upwards of 45 minutes before I was physically hurled out of Tank’s office. Yes, physically hurled, thrown, not simply dismissed.

I do remember looking up as I was bum rushed out of Tank’s office and seeing a bunch of Marines’ heads sticking out above the partitions suddenly and simultaneously disappear below the partitions.

I returned to my desk without saying a word. ?

The battalion CP is normally a very noisy place however now, despite the 50 or so Marines in the nearby sections, the CP was extraordinarily quiet. Deathly quiet.

The CP remained quiet for the rest of the day. ?Occasionally, a phone would ring, it would be answered and one could hear the muffled conversation. ?All that work we had to do still had to be done and the sergeants would occasionally bring me paperwork needing my signature.

Conversations were kept to an absolute minimum. ?Then Lt. Col. Meehan appeared in the entrance to our workspace.

The four of us came to the position of attention at the speed of light. Our movement was instantaneous, precise, and in perfect unison. Tank ordered me to come with him.

“Aye, aye, sir!”

I remember thinking that Tank was going to skip the court martial and go straight to execution by firing squad. ?I followed him out of the building and, as ordered, got into the passenger side of his car. ?I never looked anywhere but straight ahead. Neither one of us spoke.

We ended up at the Officers Club where we proceeded to reflect on the day’s incident, the damage control, and talk about the difference between selfishness and selflessness.

And yes, we had more than a few beers together. Colonel Turley even stopped by and added his thoughts on the matter. The matter was already largely forgotten.

And while largely forgotten by others, this entire experience remains to this day the greatest ass chewing I have ever had and the single most defining experience I have ever had when it comes to leadership and teamwork where selflessness must replace selfishness.

The Bible has several things to say about being selfish. Below are just a few.

“An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.” ~ Proverbs 18:1

“But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.” ~ Romans 2:8

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ?Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than you. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” ~ Philippians 2:1-4

I failed to follow the sound and golden wisdom and instruction of God.

I often think of Tank Meehan and this time in my life. I have shared this with others when selfishness rears its ugly head. ?The story sticks with many people. ?

Others, like the overly selfish and arrogant just shake me off which is unfortunate. So much hate and discontent could be avoided.

So, they will get to learn like I did…the hard way.

I never saw LtCol. Thomas F. “Tank” Meehan again after I delivered the Battalion colors to him as he then passed them on and turned over the command of 1st Battalion, 4th Marines to Lt. Col. Eshelman.

On October 16, 2012, Col. Thomas F. “Tank” Meehan passed away.?

And for what it’s worth, there is not a single ass chewing from my civilian experience in my Top Ten Ass Chewings of all time. Everything I ever needed to know about banking, business, and entrepreneurship, I learned as a grunt infantry officer in the USMC.