The great wide open water

I am 4 years old, and scared to death....

My brother, who is one year older than me, to the day, is trying to teach me how to swim. So there I am in the shallow end, with my orange swim vest. The vest is pulled over your head, and attached to the most impractical floating doughnut circling my torso. If you were my age in the 1980's you no doubt know exactly which device I am referring to.

My brother is on a mission to get me to let-go of the side of the pool. I wanted to impress my big brother...it's a right to passage. After what must be 2 hours of encouragement by my brother, with my rumpled toes and white knuckled grip on the pools edge...I finally let go. That was the first time I had to let go.

Fast forward 6 years, and I am 10. Standing on the edge of the deep end, I took a breath and dove in ... today was the day that I am going to swim 100 laps of this 10 meter pool. Troubled by a bully at school (the teacher) I wanted to do something that will make me feel worthy. So I set this challenge. Many catch-my-breath intermissions later, I made it! I felt like Karen Muir. Stick it to the teacher!

Swimming is my life raft through some tough times. Looking back now, I realize how therapeutic immersion in water is, reminiscent no doubt of the safety you felt in your mothers belly.

The troubles of the world dissolves with every stroke. First couple of laps you think about what happened at work today, that set you off. You think about troubles and as you swim... they dissolve away, until all you can think of is to breathe every 3rd stroke... to start kicking harder to help your tired arms...and how clear the water is as you follow the black line at the bottom of the pool. You focus on how your lungs expand with every breath...letting the air out as your face is in the water...making space for the next fresh breath as you turn your head to inhale. At times you compliment yourself on how the last stroke made you slide through the water like a champ, at times you concentrate on simply breathing through the exhaustion.

Grown up, divorced and loads of life lessons later... and a long period of abandoning my swimming..life started weighing me down. There's always small graces. I meet a nice friend at work. One day at lunch I joined her at the table, and she reminisced about her days of competitive swimming as a child. Both of us are chubby, unfit and frustrated. We both decide to set a goal for ourselves... we are going to train for the 700 meter fun swim in a months time. That was back in 2011.

I am so glad we did. This small start lead to bigger accomplishments. Progressing from a 1km, 2km, 3km ope n water, and at the pinnacle a 6 km non-stop Nazi swim training session by the swim coach. I kicked ass that year at Midmar!

I prefer a solo sport. The mindset challenge, self-motivation and grit one must exercise builds character and endurance. And you can only rely on yourself to get you through. Swimming in my opinion is a mirror of life's journey. When you are born, you are eager to start the race... first couple of meters is daunting as you need to get used to the pace... around the first buoy... you find your rhythm... it keeps you going for a couple of hundred meters. unexpectedly a random swimmer, who cannot navigate the choppy water, swims right into you. Sometimes over you. At times you pick a swimmer to mentally compete with. Usually one that swims just a little faster that you, so that you can chase them, or sometimes swim in their slipstream. Its like life, ad he people that cross your path. Your goal, as well as those humans you journey with navigate towards the buoy.. it can be a career goal, relationship goal or a space in life that you aim for. The currents can change your course, and you may struggle for a bit, or endure large discomfort, sometimes intense exhaustion, but ultimately you get back on track...if you have the grit to endure. The prize, on completion as you use the last bit of energy to dice towards the finish line is priceless. The sense of camaraderie when you too finish the race, and the joy of seeing other swimmers complete, makes me happy.