The Great Unshelling

Once upon a younger year When all our shadows disappeared

The animals inside came out to play

Went face to face with all our fears

Learned our lessons through the tears

Made memories we knew would never fade

One day, my father, he told me, "Son, don't let it slip away"

He took me in his arms; I heard him say

"When you get older, your wild heart will live for younger days

Think of me if ever you're afraid"

He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind

So live a life you will remember."

My father told me when I was just a child

"These are the nights that never die." My father told me...

• Those nights, ?late electronic superstar?Avicii, 2015

As a child, I enjoyed eating snails – a national delicacy in my native Ghana.

I was fascinated by them.

As a child, I remember watching them slither with their giant shells on their backs and wondering why they were so slow. I enjoyed touching them and seeing them instantly withdraw into their shells.

Like those animals (including slugs, tortoises, and turtles), many of us carry shells on our backs—shells from past hurts, traumas, negative experiences, and abuse.

When triggered, we instantly stop and withdraw into those shells, coming to a total halt.

When those shells in us come out to play, they slow us down.

The week before I wrote this was a very tough week.

I experienced several epileptic fits, the most severe occurring right after I finished my bath, when I was unable to get up from the floor. My son and wife had to help me up. If that fit had happened just a few minutes earlier or just half a metre away from where it occurred, I (or my family) would be telling a very different story.

However, over the years, I have learned to view these unpredictable attacks as a blessing. I never lose hope that one day I will be free of them. At the same time, I accept that if I am not, my life must and will go on.

The greatest blessing I've experienced is what I refer to in my book, Pay The Price, as "White Flag Pain" —surrendering to unfair circumstances and transforming them into a force for good. This mentality has empowered me to confront fears I cannot control.

Confronting mortality each day can deepen our dedication to swiftly clearing away the cobwebs and "unshelling" the shells that obscure our vision—that weigh and slow us down—so we can live our purpose of making the corner of the world we live in better than we found it.

The beautiful aspect of this is that it transforms our relationship with death.

''Learning to live meaningfully quiets the fear of death because the resonance of our purpose is so profound'' says the author of 'Everyday Legacy, Codi Shewan, C.F.S.P.

Reflecting on heroes such as Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Václav Havel, Malala Yousafzai, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King Jr., we see their key difference from us: a decisive choice. They chose each day to shed the burdens of past hurts and abuse. By deciding to' unshell, ' they transformed their lives.

Gandhi and Mandela endured severe racism,?Havel and King faced imprisonment, while Malala was shot in the head by the??Taliban.?

?Like many of us, they could have sat in self-pity, unforgiveness and cynicism, and they would have been justified in their response.

However, their greatness lay in the decisions they took.

Many people have inspired me I know personally who are doing this, such as my cousin Helena, who gives talks about the struggles of stage 4 cancer; my friend Karen Turvey who is undertaking a 100-kilometre walk on the island of Skye to raise money for early cancer detection despite multiple challenges she has faced; author and poet Mimi Jones who has overcome severe disability, challenges and setbacks to write her first book of poetry and launch a successful business, or Wendy Woo Blackwell, who suffers from severe bowel inflammatory diseases that cause her to spend a lot of time in the hospital but lives a daily life of service, encouragement, and love for others; and Robert, who had a tough childhood but has dedicated his life to inspiring and encouraging everyone around him.

It always comes down to a simple decision.

Unshelling.

Codi Shewan, C.F.S.P. writes:

‘’Everyday legacy means practising your values daily until they become as integral to you as your eye colour. This happens when you consciously wish to leave the world better than you found it’’.

Confronting and escaping death multiple times has made me almost fanatical about helping people believe they can succeed despite their pain.

I want to spend the rest of my life doing this in any way I can.

For you, what would your unshelling process entail to help you live your legacy and purpose freely and swiftly each day, enabling you to thrive beyond your pain?

You hold the keys.

Can you release past traumas? Can you curtail self-sabotaging habits that hold you back? Can you dismiss the naysayers in your life (including your own voice) attempting to drag you into the pit of mediocrity?

Like a butterfly struggling to emerge from a cocoon, can you persist going forward, regardless of how long or hard it seems?

As hip-hop artist NF said in a conversation with his trauma:

You’ll spend the rest of your life in my backyard or the back of my mind

Depends on how you see it

‘I gonna Look out the window and laugh at you

This is crazy to me

‘’Cause I thought you had me in prison this whole time

‘’But I'm the one holdin' the keys.’’

- NF, Perception Intro III, 2017

1. Work with me. I can public speak, mentor, write, or consult. Visit www.stevenadjei.co.uk to get a taste, read what people say about my work, and holler at [email protected] to chat. I'd also love some feedback on the above article.

2. Buy my book. You won't regret it. It's won several awards and has been a #1 Amazon best-seller in EIGHTEEN different categories in multiple countries. (https://amzn.eu/d/3rHZVFw) If you already have, I'd love an honest review on Amazon. Reviews do help us out.:)?

Please watch this space for information on my second book, Chasing Permanence,?published by world-leading publishers Routledge.? 3. Talk to me. I won't judge. My most vital values are empathy and resilience. As someone who's experienced much pain, I can help you overcome (or manage) your business pain and turn it into victory.

4. From 2025, this newsletter will have a more business-oriented tone in its articles in preparation for the release of my new book, Chasing Permanence. The audio version of Pay The Price and corresponding courses will accompany both books. Stay tuned.

Let's talk! Rooting for you, Steven.

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Steven