The great question?—?Essay_2

Part I — The aha Moment.

In my last angry essay I finished by saying that we should not make a pitch. We should ask great questions.

I believe the key to have a great conversation is in the ability to be genuine and focus on the other person. Of course, it is not a problem if we combine the use of some of the communication tools (“ME”message, empathic listening, etc.), as long as we keep ourselves original and do not try to use these tools to manipulate the other as to benefit ourselves through this conversation.

My ego loves it when another person tells me the question I asked is a great question. For some reason I like to ask questions and try to make them great questions. Since my ego loves the feeling of asking great questions, I thought to myself:

- What if I try to look for great questions beforehand so my ego is always in the limelight?

Easy, right? I went to google.

I am sincere, I did not have great results.

The first page had good results if my intention was to pick up girls. [https://lifehacks.io/questions-to-ask-a-girl/]

Fuck. Where can I find questions about great questions? Quora, of course:

https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-questions-on-Quora-8

I was not happy with the answers.

I did not like any of them. Why? Because they all had a direct response from the person. From their opinion. Their ego.

I kept looking and nothing.

I thought to myself:

“Well, I won’t be able to satisfy my ego.”

I gave up , and accepted the fact that I did not find an answer for what I was looking for.

Days later …

Interesting, I thought. From that moment I began to follow the path of Ashton. I feel a great connection to what I know and don’t know about Ashton Kutcher.

I do not know him personally.

I do not know much about his career as an actor, but I follow him since his first investments in companies like Uber, Spotify or Airbnb. I have empathy for people who do various things at the same time without fear of judgments from others.

And time passed…

…

Well a lot, two years later …

Good, I thought. I’d like to see that:

And I saw it.

[https://youtu.be/r1AZ6ZF1ysM?t=1h33m19s]

Suddenly,

- Smart People

- Mila Kunis

- Questions

- Mila Kunis

- Dumb questions

- Mila Kunis

- Great Questions

- Mila Kunis

- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

And … Aha Moment !!!

If there were great questions, I was sure there were. If I knew what the best great questions would be, definitely not. If I have found, in my opinion, the best great question ever, definitely.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

Why?

1) Because the answer to this question does not arise originally from the person who answers it, but from another person.

2) Because this great question manages to create an infinite loop of Questions / Answers (great advices).

Part II — It’s not about you, it’s about them.

Me and a group of fantastic people had the privilege of creating the first conference of entrepreneurship and leadership in Trás-os-Montes called Ativo (https://www.facebook.com/pg/ativo.usc) in 2010, which is part of a junior company called USC (Utad Solutions Consulting) which I was part of for two years as vice president.

Today, in 2017 the conference is already in its 6th edition. In the 2015 edition I was invited to be one of the speakers.

I remember driving 400km the night before to get to the event where I was going to be a speaker. I arrived in Vila Real, checked in at the hotel and went to the room to prepare the speech I would give in the morning. I sat down in front of the computer, and …

Nothing happened…

I can usually explore a topic or remind myself of something to talk about without any problems. For some reason, for this Ativo speech in 2015 I could not think of anything valuable to say to the audience I would face the next day.

And the hours were passing …

For some reason I remembered Ashton Kutcher’speech. That’s when I opened my email and wrote this:

Translation:

Hello!

Tomorrow I’m giving a very important speech for me.

I’ve been thinking, and it clearly does not make sense to talk about me. It’s not about you, it’s about them.

If the answer is on the other side, what would be the best question I could ever ask someone I admire a lot? That would be what I would like to share.

Here it goes: What was the best advice you’ve ever been given?

Big hug!

F

— — — —

Then I emailed some of the most important people who have helped me grow and work my way through life. These were their magnificent shares:

“Chose the battles you want to fight carefully. You can not fight everyone, everywhere, every time.”

By Gon?alo Reis

Listening is more important than talking. Doing is more important than just dreaming :)

By Marcilio Riegert

-People behave in the way they think you expect them to behave.

- Treat your employees as volunteers, because what you want from them, which is to give you their best, they will only voluntarily give you, for what you pay them does not matter at all, the boss only buys time.

- Be very careful with the management of expectations: do not sell dreams that will become nightmares

- Rich and health are better than poor and sick

By Pedro Dias

-99% of the cases, your worst case scenario happens. If you find yourself on that 1%, 100% chance you’re havent thought your worst case scenarios through properly.

- The difference between you and the best is that he believes in himself and your common idea more than you.

By Pedro Baliza

See the positive side of life and smile at it!

By Marta Pimenta

Live life in a very intense way.

By Ricardo Martins

Try ,the NO is already guaranteed.

By Helder Moreno Lopes

The greatest value you can add is to become more of yourself.

By Herberto Smith

- Live life based on Being and not based on Having;

- Breathe;

- Whenever you’re down, imagine that you’re dancing.

By Rodrigo Dias

It is much better to regret having done it than to regret never having done it.

By Duarte Mechas

Listen to your heart and have the courage to follow your dreams and face your fears: there will always be someone who does not agree, and this is normal.

By Miguel Dias

Have fun and make friends.

By Leonardo Varella

Live your lives like no one else and make it absolutely fantastic.

By Rita Pimenta

You’re not as good as you think.

By Wilson Edgar

Today, if you build it, they won’t come.

By Diogo da Silva

I think wisdom comes from the sum of little advice and not from the great advise somebody gives us.

By Rui Alves

I look at these advices quite often. They help me in most of my “8” moments of life. I created a stack with all of these and more advice that I put there over time. They have worked as a motivator, recharging philosophical batteries.

P.S. I leave you a challenge: For you, what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

More here.