The Great Purge

Did you ever realize there’s a significant difference between being organized and being neat? For my entire adult life, I thought I was organized. Boy, was I wrong! I was neat but far from organized.?

Years ago, whilst working on some serious personal development, I took a deep dive into Jack Canfield’s Success Principles. A few of the principles touched my heart more than others. For example, the Ask! Ask! Ask! principle is one I’ve used time and again raising my children. (More about that on an upcoming blog.) But one principle remains in my top 3 - Clean Up Your Messes!

Cleaning up your messes may sound pretty simple if you’re an organized person. If you’re a neat person, it might be a bit more challenging. And if you live like countless others, cleaning up your messes is a “goal” for the future. Messes are, well, messy. But if you don’t pay attention to a mess, it grows and eventually rears its ugly head ten-fold more than if it had been dealt with properly in the beginning.

As I began the process of looking through countless bins in the basement, I realized I had been putting off this task for literally decades. I avoided dealing with every single piece of paper, every single memory, and endless decisions needing to be made - do I keep this or do I throw it away? The task seemed daunting. So daunting, in fact, that it was easier for me to move the bins over and over and over again for my entire adult life. (At one point, I moved 20 times in 20 years.) What was I avoiding? What was the reason I kept dodging the great purge? After all, I was organized as all the things were in bins of all shapes and sizes.?

Let’s go back a bit. Why, now, was I even considering going through every single piece of paper, every article of clothing, every pair of footwear? Simply put, it was time. It was time to release my past and clean up my messes. It was time to allow my past to be the foundation of my future and not be the cement blocks weighing me down. The stuff built the woman I am today. In the same breath, it weighed me down and constrained my wings from taking full flight. I remember I have wings. I remember, through the pain of the past, that I have the capacity to fly.

So I began the overwhelmingly dreadful task of opening one box at a time. I had copious amounts of time alone with the boxes. Me, the boxes, and the basement - we became fast friends. We laughed and cried, chatted with friends, listened to podcasts, hung out with Tim (McGraw). The process took a week, and the lessons I learned were remarkable.

First of all, there’s a difference between organized and neat. Organized is when the same items are within the same location. Neat describes clutter free. Mama had what she described as an organized desk. I found it continually distracting as it was messy. However, she knew where most items were placed (unless someone moved something). She knew her piles. As a child, those piles drove me a bit too close to the cliff’s edge. She was organized - in her world. She was untidy in mine. Life is all about perspective, right?

Interestingly enough, for decades I thought I was organized. I was wrong. I was neat. Neat allows for the false sense of organized.?

How does one get from one to the other? Well, figure out which one you are first. I figured out I was neat when I opened up the umteenth bin and there was another array of various content. I had shoes, postcards, colored pencils and jewelry all in the same containment unit. Seriously? That’s not anywhere near organized. Organized would allow for shoes in one compartment, postcards in another, and colored pencils in another. You catch my drift. It was time to get organized.?

But the task of getting organized is almost an entirely different realm from purging. I decided to do things simultaneously. In my mind, that worked most efficiently. At one point, I had bins with two things in them and piles of unnecessary items all around me. It was comical. Half-way through it all, I wanted to quit.

I was emotionally drained. I touched every single item. I had three categories: keep, give away, or throw out. I listened to my first instinct with each item. It was challenging on a multitude of levels. I wanted to be finished with the task. So, I took a short break and gave myself and took an evening off. I allowed myself to heal from the memories that festered.

This was my next lesson - allowing myself to heal. There’s something to be said about pushing through. There’s something to be said even more boldly about allowing yourself the time to step back and take a breath. That evening off was one of the greatest gifts I gave myself during the process. I allowed myself self-love.

For someone who has been in an abusive relationship, self-love was difficult. It still is from time to time. I blame myself for not being good enough. I feel guilty for countless things I’ve allowed to happen in my life. I feel a bondage to self deprivation. However, taking that evening off showed me that I am worthy of a breath and a break, that I don’t have to feel guilty for allowing time to heal, and that self deprivation is useless.?

And finally, through this process, I learned to release my past. To recognize it’s been the catalyst to creating the woman I am today. My past has laid a solid foundation in my life and will always be a part of me, but my past no longer needs to weigh me down.?

Did I get rid of everything? Ummm…NO! There are countless amazing memories still stored in the basement bins. I have gifts to give, baby clothes to share, my childhood memories, postcards from near and far, art belonging to my children, holiday decorations, Hungarian tapestry, skates, ballet slippers, tap shoes, and memories… lots and lots of memories. I have the memories still remaining tangible, but also those I’ve released in the physical realm.?

My wings are no longer attached to cinder blocks. They are ready to take flight. I have cleaned up my messes and can think more clearly to move forward more boldly.?