To be a great manager, say thank you

Here's a bit of obvious but oft-forgotten management advice: your team members like to be recognized when they do good work. As a manager, you're probably not doing enough of this. It's one of the easiest things you can change and it will bring huge returns for your team members' motivation and overall happiness.

I'm not talking about financial recognition or parties or promotions or gifts or anything like that, although those can be important. As Daniel Pink tells us in his book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, financial recognition usually isn't the motivator we think it is. What I'm talking about are some very basic, old-school things you can incorporate into your daily routine. These are things I've tried to do myself over my career as a people manager and from what I can tell, they've worked.

Thank people privately, and then thank them publicly

Okay, this first one is really going to knock your socks off. You ready? Here it is: say thank you. Thank your team members as much as you can. Thank them when they finish a project. Thank them when they share something they've learned with the rest of the team. Thank them when they're putting in some extra effort. Thank them when they overcome an obstacle. Thank them when they point out something that's not working. Thank them when they give you feedback. Thank them every chance you get.

It's important to thank people privately so you can look them in the eye and tell them you think they've done a good job and why you think that. If you've heard good feedback about them from other leaders, tell them. Doing this privately shows special intention on your part, which your team members will appreciate. Also, some people get embarrassed by public recognition. It's important to figure that out before you thank them publicly. If you don't already know the answer, you can just ask them. "Hey, do you mind if I say something about this in our next team meeting?" It's as simple as that.

The next step is to thank them publicly. I sometimes hear managers say they don't like to do this because it costs them some sort of political capital or it makes them look weak. To which I say: nonsense. If you can't bring yourself to celebrate someone else's good work you should look into that.

Thanking someone publicly is super easy. It can be in a team meeting, it can be at an all hands meeting, it can be through email, it can be on your team Slack channel, or any other way that makes sense to you. You don't have to make a big production out of it, but make it specific. Saying, "I wanted to let you all know I think Harpreet is doing a great job," isn't nearly as meaningful as, "I wanted to let you all know how impressed I was by Harpreet's presentation to senior leadership last week. She was confident and poised and did a great job answering their questions. She nailed it! And I heard great feedback afterward. Nice work!"

Show up to every one on one on time, and be prepared

Here's another one that's really going to blow your mind. Show up to meetings on time. In this case, I'm talking about your one on one meetings with your team members. I'm assuming you have them. If not, please schedule them now.

Ok, I am of a certain age. And maybe being punctual isn't what all the kids are doing these days. But I really believe in showing up on time. I think it shows a pretty basic level of respect, and that's important. As a manager, it can be easy to think your time is more valuable than your team members' time. And you know what? Sometimes maybe it is. But you should still show up to your one on ones on time. Or if you can't, at least let them know you're running late and when you think you'll be there, or reschedule the meeting and apologize.

Why is this so important, besides basic courtesy? So many reasons. First, you're leading by example and modeling a behavior you want your team members to adopt. Second, you're telling your team members through your actions that you value your one on one time with them enough to take it seriously. In other words, it makes them feel valued. Third, by being trustworthy in the little things you show that you can be trustworthy in the big things. Your team members see they can count on you. Lastly, having regular, scheduled one on ones with your team members is incredibly important, especially if you aren't co-located. This is their chance to meet with you, their leader. It might be their only one-on-one time with you every couple of weeks. If they need help with something and you miss the one on one, the issue could fester for month before you hear about it. Not a good situation. So show up to your one on ones, on time, every time. Or at least to the greatest extent you possibly can. No one is perfect.

A final word on one on ones - show up prepared. Know what you talked about last time. Know what they're working on. If you said you would follow up on something in your last one on one, be sure you did. I always tell my team members the one on one is their meeting, not mine. I will show up with questions and there will be things I will want to talk about, but I look to them to lead the discussion and we can discuss whatever is on their mind. Sometimes this means we will have conversations I don't want to have, but of course those are the conversations we need to have.

Remember birthdays and service anniversaries

I'm assuming, somewhere on your computer machine or on your cell phone device or hanging on your wall, you have a calendar. Or if not, you at least know what I'm talking about and you know where to get one. Write down your team members' birthdays and service anniversaries. Easy peasy. On their special day (or on Friday if the day falls over the weekend), send them an email or post something in your team Slack channel to celebrate the day. Almost everyone likes to have at least a little bit of a fuss made over them.

I say "almost everyone" because actually, not everyone likes this. I've had team members who really did not want me to say anything publicly about their birthday. And so that's fine! It's totally up to them. What I usually do in those situations is to send them a private note saying happy birthday, assuring them I won't say anything publicly.

Send greeting cards through the mail at least once a year

One thing I've done for many years and which has been shockingly effective at building rapport with my team members is to send personalized holiday cards. I'll be honest that this one does take a bit of effort and there is some nominal cost involved, but it is so worth it.

Each year right after Thanksgiving I get to work on this. Obviously, not everyone celebrates the same holidays, whether because of different religions or nationalities, so you want to be sensitive to that. "Happy Holidays" cards will do just fine. I hand write a note to each person thanking them (yep, here's another occasion to say thank you!) for everything they've contributed to the team that year. I try to call out one or two specifics, and then I finish by looking forward to the coming year.

No one sends cards through the mail anymore, and I think for my team members, getting something personal that they can physically hold on to means a lot. This is especially true for my team members overseas. It's always a bit of an adventure sending holiday cards to India, Israel, UK, Poland, New Zealand, or wherever people are. But I've found if I send the overseas cards in early December they usually arrive by late December. Not always, but they get there eventually.

If you're willing to make a small financial investment in holiday cards and postage and make a moderate investment of time, I challenge you give this a try and see how your team responds.

In conclusion

It turns out that even though managing people is hard, it isn't all that complicated. By being generous with your time and attention, by showing genuine appreciation, and by being a thoughtful human being, you can build real, meaningful, lasting trust and rapport with your team.