GREAT LISTENERS MAKE BETTER LEADERS THAN GREAT TALKERS [2 Minute Read]

In a recent 1-on-1 meeting I made a big mistake. I entered the room, sat down, put my phone face down on the table and started the conversation with a question.

What was the mistake?

It’s the phone.

Plenty of recent research has shown that just the mere presence of a mobile phone has a detrimental effect on the quality of a conversation. Having a phone on the table during a meeting is basically saying:

“This conversation is important. However, if my phone rings, I’ll cut the conversation short because actually, that is more important.”

This is an example of non-verbal priming. Even if the leader has simply brought the phone in and isn’t thinking about it, this is the message it sends to the other person in the conversation. This message ruins the conversation quality, because it prevents anyone from going into great depth  – for fear of being interrupted by the phone.

This is one mistake that great leaders don’t make. They don’t make it because they value true connection, and because all truly great leaders, are also great listeners.

Becoming a great listener requires a lot of patience and hard work. Resisting the urge to give input and talk isn’t easy. However, to be an effective leader, it’s essential. Here are 3 reasons why…

#1 – LISTENERS LISTEN, TALKERS TALK

Fairly obvious, I know. But here’s the key difference.

When you’re talking, you’re not learning.

The best leaders realise that they need to be constantly learning in order continue to grow and to develop themselves. Plus, the more they learn from their team, and colleagues, the better they understand the business and wider industry – invaluable knowledge.

Talkers are great at talking, and often inspire others with their words. However, the lack of learning opportunities mean that talkers miss out on crucial information and insight.

#2 – OTHER PEOPLE TALK TO LISTENERS, BUT STAY QUIET AROUND TALKERS

Similarly, great talkers can make their teams become complacent, quiet and worst of all, apathetic. If a team has a great talker for a leader, who rarely opens up the floor to others, then the team will go quiet. Even when they have something to say, individual team members may save what they have to say until they are in a 1-on-1 conversation, or they may send you an email instead. Great talkers tend to kill an open forum, or collaborative communication in group meetings.

This is a risky way of leading.

What if you have an off day?

What is you have nothing to say one day?

What if you’re wrong?!

Having a culture where people feel safe and are confident enough to speak their mind in a group setting is crucial. Great listeners create such a culture.

#3 – LISTENERS HAVE MORE TIME TO THINK

Most of us can’t think at 100 mph. This means we need time to think.

Talkers are expected to have the right answer in the right moment every single time. The pressure is on them, because everyone is used to hearing them talk, and deliver when they need to. However, it’s not always possible.

Listeners have plenty more time to think. Plus, they have much more information and insight to use to develop their thoughts and answers. This precious thinking time allows great listeners to make very well considered answers and comments. Which in turn, tends to make them great talkers too.

In an age where the leaders that are most revered and idealised are fantastic talkers, and great orators, it’s important we understand the importance of listening well. Today’s world is fast-paced and ever changing. This means, we all need as much information, experience and insight to be able to make the best decisions. Talking a lot doesn’t allow you to access enough of that information. However, being a consistently strong and active listener, will equip you with the information you need. What’s more, listening well will mean when you eventually do go to talk, what you say will be far more relevant, inspiring and engaging, because the people around you will know that you have heard, listened and understood what they’ve told you.