Great Leaders Nourish & Encourage

Happiness is not the goal. Fulfilling your destiny is. Yet, if you are unhappy it is nearly impossible to fulfill your true purpose.

Th best leaders help others find their purpose by empowerment and encouraging their teams.

The great ones nourish those around them.

Find your destiny, your purpose, so you can help others do the same.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”  - William Shakespeare

Your purpose will never be handed to you; you must work for it. It is to be created and cultivated, it is to be built and perfected, not found.

Yet, despair and low-confidence cause inaction. These invasive feelings create apathy and allow fear to flourish.

There is one perfect antidote to all of this: action.

The more you do, the more you will find, the more you will create.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill

Really, the is only one way to accomplish anything and to learn everything is through action. Action is what allows you to overcome weaknesses and find your destiny.

Action is courage in motion.

It takes courage to become who you are meant to be. This courage is the ability to take action even when you don’t have all the answers. This courage is the willingness to keep going even when you are afraid or in pain. This courage is the humility to search for and accept truth.

This courage is also what leads to happiness.

You will never be happy all the time. That is not life, that is not how it works. But you can be happy every day. You can build your moments so that each experience you have leads you to a better version of yourself.

When you try to find happiness, it will always escape you.

“Well, we know one thing for sure: happiness is not easy to find running straight for it. It is usually too elusive, too ephemeral, too subtle. If you haven’t learned it already, you will learn in the years ahead that most times happiness comes to us when we least expect it, when we are busy doing something else. Happiness is almost always a by-product of some other endeavor.” — Jeffrey R. Holland

People who are not happy have a few things in common. Even if they look happy on their faces, you can tell if they are truly happy or not. They show it in their words and actions.

Here are the signs:

• They feel unfulfilled.
• They are not content.
• They do not feel useful.
• They always judge others.
• They are looking for a new job.
• They harbor feelings of resentment.
• They lack inspiration, willpower, and motivation.
• They are searching for something to change them.

While those are the signs, how they get to that sad state is very similar as well.

They do two things that always sabotage happiness:

If you -

Care what others think about you...

Compare yourself to others...

you will never find the happiness, joy, and fulfillment you deserve.

The common theme is worrying about others (potential thoughts/actions) in a negative way. Worrying about others in how they relate to you is selfish and can cause pain. (Worrying about others because your care for them and want what is best for them is a totally different story.)

Looking for your own internal happiness to come from others will never work.

One of the fastest ways to finding happiness is to start “searching” for it in the right place.

Happiness does not come from without, it does not come from other people. It comes from within. Finding and creating happiness is an inside job. It is something you have complete control over.

The first things to change is how you view yourself and your situation. To change how you think about yourself follow this simple formula: stop caring about what others think and to stop comparing yourself to others.

Easier said than done.

We think about what others might think, say, or do because we want and crave approval. We want to be accepted because we feel the need to be validated by them. We somehow deceive ourselves into thinking that outside validation matters. Even worse, we base our own self-worth on the validation we receive from others.

Always searching for validation creates unfulfilled needs and incredible anxiety.

Anxiety is pain without reward. (the opposite of exercise)

When you stop the habit of craving outside validation you instantly reduce your anxiety and increase your happiness.

**Anxiety attacks everyone differently. For some it is about choices, for others, it is medical, for others it is emotional, no matter the cause it is important to accept it and then get the needed help. This help might be from a friend, from a medical professional, or from your own actions. Anxiety is never the problem, dealing with it is. Find the best way for you and help others do the same. (#mentalhealth)

You can create happiness by learning a few skills.

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” - Dale Carnegie

Happiness is an acquired skill, just like courage, joy, and fulfillment.

It takes the skill of letting go. It takes the skill of telling ourselves better and truer stories.

Once we understand the power of letting go and telling new stories, we can live with fulfillment and create the happiness we want.

Stories are powerful because we believe them. Especially when we tell them to ourselves.

We need to tell ourselves certain truths, certain stories.

Here are the stories we need to believe:

- Happiness is not found from having more money.

“People are chasing cash, not happiness. When you chase money, you’re going to lose. You’re just going to. Even if you get the money, you’re not going to be happy.” — Gary Vaynerchuk

- Gratitude cures most pain.

“The gratitude that needs cultivating is what you seek when your life is in turmoil and your heart is in the wreckage.” — Lexi Herrick

- No one is perfect.

“Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are.” — Ariana Grande

- Exercise helps everything.

“Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger

- Sleep is a powerful tool in helping me perform.

“By helping us keep the world in perspective, sleep gives us a chance to refocus on the essence of who we are. And in that place of connection, it is easier for the fears and concerns of the world to drop away.” — Arianna Huffington

- The big picture always looks better than the little details.

“If you just focus on the smallest details, you never get the big picture right.” — Leroy Hood

- Working on your relationships is the best way to feel more useful.

“An incalculable amount of tension and useless effort would be spared in this world if we realized that cooperation and love can never be won by force.” — Alfred Adler

- Comparing yourself to your past or potential is the only comparison that actually helps.

“The choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.” — Oprah

*These stories have been proven by science here, here, and here.

You don’t find happiness. You work on it, you create it.

“Culture does not make people. People make culture.” — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Outside options are not in your control, your only control is to choose between the options you have. To change your options, change your environment. Change your surroundings and change the people you associate with. Once you change your environment now it is the time to work on your stories.

Once you believe the true stories, now you can begin to take proper action.

Doing these 3 things will encourage you to create moments that result in fulfillment.

1. Get a little better every single day.

“Compete with yourself, not with others.” — Sophia Amoruso

The only comparison that matters (and is helpful) is who you are right now compared to who you want to be. If you focus learning one new thing, doing one thing better, trying just a bit more each day, gradually the results will come. While they those benefits might seem slow, the exponential power of consistent improvement will amaze you. You might be dissatisfied with your daily progress but when you look back at the year, you will be impressed by the new person you have become.

2. Stay aware.

“You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you’ll never have to fear an unanticipated blow.” — Paulo Coelho

Awareness opens doors.

You are able to solve more problems when you are aware.

Stay aware of your own feelings, of your own emotions. When you are aware, you can learn to trust and understand yourself.

When you are aware notice others. Your curiosity and empathy have magical powers when you are aware of your surroundings and the people you interact with.

When you are aware you are grateful for how things really are, not how you hope them to be.

When you are aware you appreciate what you have, and do not focus on what you don’t.

3. Strive to be useful.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ultimate fulfillment comes when we know we have been of use. This might be surviving others, it might mean being excellent professionally, or a great father. However, you feel useful, maximize those skills and opportunities.

When you are useful you are confident. (You help others become more confident as well)

When you are useful you are transparent and share with others.

When you are useful you solve problems.

When you are useful you teach others.

When you are useful others feel empowered by your actions and words.

Work hard to be useful and you will never be discontent.

The courage to be happy requires constant focus on being the best version of yourself.

“The human capacity for eternal transformation is the antidote to unbearable suffering and tragedy…Don’t sacrifice who you could be for who you are.” — Jordan Peterson

Life is hard, life is a test, and you are important. You are strong enough to overcome all pain and grief. Your creator made you for a reason. Find it.

Everyone needs to act with the courage to live the way they should.

Everyone deserves to grow and feel peace, contentment, and happiness.

Your life will only change for the better when you change first.

Don’t let anyone steal your happiness.

When you compare yourself to others you are giving away control of your happiness. When you worry about what others think about you, you are giving away control of your happiness.

Don’t let anyone steal your happiness.

You are capable, you are strong enough, you can build a life of meaning. You are good enough today, and you will be better tomorrow. Keep going.

**Your Turn: What is the best way leaders can Nourish, Encourage, and Empower their teams??

Want better relationships? Get this free guide now!

I’ve created a quick guide for mastering professional relationships,immediately. If you follow this one MAIN truth and actionable steps found inside, your whole life will improve, quickly.

P.S. — If you want to create more happiness in your life, read these:

1. The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha
2. Your Happily Ever After by Dieter F. Uchtdorf
3. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
4. Being Happy by Andrew Matthews

and then take action!