Great Expectations (for 2016)

Many people look at January 1 as the beginning of not only a new year, but of new opportunities, objectives, and remedies. A “New Year’s Resolution,” is often about a new experience, improving health or business or relationships. This year, all of America is faced with many options for resolutions, for improvement, advancement, and opportunity. 

I’m sure you’ve read or heard the old saying, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” For those of us interested in history, unfortunately it often means we repeat our mistakes, and we rarely learn from the past. The “Great War,” which came to its conclusion in November of 1918, was supposed to be the war that ended all wars. Today, much of the world is engaged in conflict, with issues not so different from those carried out between armies in trenches across Europe. But today’s conflicts are no longer in trenches - they’re in our cities, our places of worship, and on our streets.

And unlike wars of the past, society itself is a participant. We’re able to sit behind a keyboard or a reflective mobile phone screen, and tap or type messages that were once reserved for the battlefield. And because of this, millions have become desensitized or worse, engaged in conflict because of Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram and the Internet generally. 

We’re at war with change, with governments, with religions, and most importantly, with ourselves. Our society has become so complex, its difficult to see through the noise. Personal achievement has been superceded by metrics on performance. In America, historically the people would choose their representatives. Today, the opposite is more often reality - politicians pick their constituents. Broadcast Journalists sell airtime (or risk losing their jobs), and adjust the story to attract a pre-determined audience. It seems that everything and anything can be packaged and sold. 

As a nation, we’re preparing to elect new officials, put new laws into effect, defend against climate change, and to see the last year of the current U.S. Presidential term reach its conclusion. 

As a people, where are we? What are we about? As we enter this new year, I would like to offer up several things that would make this coming year more important than anyone might imagine. So, where do we start?

I propose we consider something that has been missing in many of our leader’s lives, not to mention family and friends for a long, long time: Grace. 

There are many definitions of grace; religious (as in virtue coming from God), pleasing to watch, and even grace of movement. The “grace” I’m referring to is having “skills needed for behaving in a polite manner in social situations.” Aristotle wrote, “The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.” 

Another phrase for this might be “respect for others.” 

As we prepare to head to the polls, to practice our response to terror attacks, and argue the merits of weather, health insurance, and the intentions of the founding fathers, it wouldn’t hurt to bring some grace back into our culture. It wouldn’t hurt to start the year with a new vision. 

The best place to start is at the source: You. Me. 

Each one of us has great expectations, but in order for those ideals to be realized, we need to start with ourselves. It doesn’t matter if you lead or follow, this is a great opportunity to get to know yourself again.

Start with the hardest stuff — as in “what’s true and false” about yourself? Our realities have been warped by story-tellers, both real and fictional. “Call of Duty” is just a video game. Star Wars is a fictional story, not a documentary. FOX News isn’t intended for thirty-something progressives, nor is MSNBC for 50 + individuals who live in the 1950s. 

Because of the complexity of our times, many people have lost their way, hanging on to what they “want the truth to be,” versus what the truth actually is. This article isn’t about telling you what the truth is — that’s for you to decide. In my world, I’m giving thought to what I hope to see in myself, and then compare that to what is in the mirror. The closer I bring them together, the greater my opportunity to improve as a person, and to share that experience with those around me. 

To those of you who consider yourself leaders, this has even greater significance. Leadership’s defining quality is honesty. When combined with fitness, fairness, and consistency, a leader’s true abilities shine through. 

As a people, we continually seek out leadership.

Leaders who understand their responsibility must be able to provide inspiration, motivation, and clear direction. Unfortunately, in today’s environment, marketing can — at least for some time mask what is ego and self adoration with what appears to be leadership. Left unrevealed, it can lead to conflict, separation, isolation, and despair.

People often come together in challenging times. Put a group of soldiers or sailors or airmen together and they make up a military unit. Put them through combat, and they become a band of brothers. Fill a fire station with highly trained firefighters, and they make up a fire company. Put them through a raging inferno, and they become family. The same may be true for a sports team - fighting adversity creates strength and togetherness. It’s why so many of us love sports. It gives us something to “belong to” and a clearly defined goal to fight for. 

As a people, we need to work harder to come together.

Part of this process is the development of trust between those people (members, fighters, athletes) who contest the challenges they face together. In the military we would call that morale. That’s the next thing it seems we’re all searching for: improved morale. 

While our expectations are that someone will step forward as a great leader and tell us, “follow me,” we cannot count on that (in the current political atmosphere) occurring. So, it’s up to us to start small - and to build a circle of morale that reaches out and builds locally. Start with yourself. Define yourself in the most honest terms possible, and make that your core. 

The next ring is your family. We cannot pick our family members, but we can work to understand them, trust them, and rely on them for our most important issues — and for our morale. If that isn’t working, finding resolution and fixing family is the most important task for 2016. 

After family, the next ring is those you most trust - your teammates, your fellow patrol officers, or firefighting company, or business department group. These “rings of morale and trust,” can extend to many groups, depending on your personality. When these rings are in order, we can begin to build the “cultural morale” we need to achieve any objective we set our sights on. It’s when these rings are disconected, disrupted, or severed that morale disintegrates. 

And remember that knowing who you are isn’t the same thing as impressing people to make them like you, or admire you. That’s not what leadership, teamwork, or family is about. Knowing yourself is hard work, and it requires constant evaluation and re-evaluation. That’s why we make our resolutions in January. When you share your true self with others, only then will they begin to trust you. When that process is engaged, you will have realized another term any military vet will understand: esprit de corps. 

America has long had a tradition of esprit de corps. We came together on April 19, 1775, on April 9th, 1865, again on December 7th, 1941, and more recently on September 11, 2001. The symbol of our esprit de corps is our flag - our guidon if you will. My heart beats a little bit faster whenever I see the flag waving in a breeze, because it represents the very best of who we are. 

As we begin 2016, it is my hope that we work diligently to put aside the fear of the unknown, the fear of change, and our collective lack of self-respect, and reach out to one another to create the next phase of what makes us a nation of great opportunity.

That means taking a side. It means voting — not just in November, but whenever a choice presents itself. It means being honest with yourself. It means not believing everything you hear. It means learning from the past, so we don’t repeat those mistakes today, and in the future.