Gratitude:UnFiltered “Kings & Queens” Vol 1 – Full Transcript

What's up everyone. This is gratitude unfiltered. And I'm your host, Joshua T burgling. What's up everyone. Hope you're doing well. Welcome to the broadcast. We are alive right now on the <inaudible> network being broadcast on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TV, Amazon fire, Roku, and all that good stuff. Welcome. Good to see you guys hope everyone's here. We're using the same software yesterday. So we may go back and forth and talk today. I don't know I'm in a mood just straight up.

00:00:48

Joshua T Berglan

I'm in a mood. And which seems kind of common recently, to be honest with you. It's so amazing about life, how you, you get so far, you can make so much progress in our life and, and like you get in this flow and then all of a sudden it's like life hits you or something happens and you go, God, I have so much more to learn.

00:01:25

Joshua T Berglan

Can anyone relate to that? That's where I'm at right now. One of the most frustrating things that I think we deal with as humans is communication. Communication is a skillset. Communication is it requires patience. It requires love. It requires being willing to be wrong, or maybe look at a different perspective.

00:02:05

Joshua T Berglan

And it seems like sometimes when we are trying to communicate with other people, it's like one person's from Mars and the other one's from Venus sound familiar to anybody. What is it? Men or for women are from Venus and men are from Mars or whatever I may be from Jupiter, but that's another story. Really happy to have you guys to your, again, this is going to be a very different show.

00:02:41

Joshua T Berglan

I've never talked about. I don't really talk about relationships or marriage very often, but as I've shared publicly, one of the goals that I have is to have a family one day and at the same time, like I don't even have a successful dating relationship to go back to, to go, Hey, I've got proof that I can have a successful relationship that said with all of the troubles that I've had in relationships, I know I'm not the only one.

00:03:14

Joshua T Berglan

And as I've really been working hard on this journey to grow and develop and become the man that God created me to be, I've learned a lot about myself, done some crazy things like marrying somebody, I didn't know, have had some, you know, started seeing somebody that, you know, again, like, I, I, I've been learning a lot through these relationships. And for the first time in my life, I've really taken the time to learn the lessons from the previous relationship. So I don't carry them over to the next.

00:03:46

Joshua T Berglan

How many of you out there make that a discipline when you date? Well, the thing is, is that even with that said, I have so much to learn about every type of relationship, whether it's romantic, personal business. I come to understand that I'm a bit of a control freak, and I like things a certain way. I, I know that my brain works a certain type of way. And sometimes when I communicate, it's not always understood.

00:04:18

Joshua T Berglan

That said, what's up, Todd, good to see you, man. That said, we all struggle with this. I think is tough for all of us. You know? And there's all these gurus out there. There's all these different books. And it's like, well, this book is going to teach me how to have a healthy communication life. Well, the fact that all of these books that come out, they're great. They give you one idea, but most of it's taken from the Bible. Most of these, most of these ideas, these are relationship ideas.

00:04:48

Joshua T Berglan

These woke connects your life ideas. It all comes from the Bible, every bit of it. And so, you know what? I'm not going to go to some crazy. I'm not going to go to any of these books for the information I need, because I would rather just get to the root of how to have a successful relationship, a King and a queen. And that's what we're going to get into tonight. We're going to start the keys for marriage and yeah, I'm talking about marriage. No, I'm not getting married. Yes, I'm actually divorced.

00:05:19

Joshua T Berglan

But I want to talk about this because the thing about it is how you do one thing is how you do everything. And this how this applies with marriage. This ties back into your relationship with God. But also this applies for dating. This applies for your coworkers. This covers the gamut. So literally we are going to cover all of it today. Not all of it, but we're going to get into it. And I'm going to learn with you because you know what? I've got a lot to learn. I still don't understand sometimes how you can say something and you can intend for it to mean something.

00:05:55

Joshua T Berglan

But the other person that hears it, here's a completely different. And it is like the most confusing thing about human beings because intent does matter. However, so does perception. And what do you do when intent and perception are doing this? What do you do? I love to know that answer. So hopefully today, while we're using dr. Miles, Monroe keys for marriage book, we can uncover some of this stuff and figure it out.

00:06:29

Joshua T Berglan

So anyway, this is going to be good. Those of you who've ever had relationship struggles, you're having relationship struggles. Now you're looking to date. This is going to be good. I think you may enjoy this. So I hope that you stick around. Hope you invite a friend. We're going to have some fun or try to you stop talking and listen. Oh, Jessica's got all the good ideas you stop talking and listen. Maybe I shouldn't have broken out the comments today.

00:07:02

Joshua T Berglan

Maybe you should turn the comments off. I think I'm going to get in trouble. Oh, another thing too. So it's so weird how some of these things unfold and like what I listened to ends up being, have you ever noticed this? What you listened to kind of like say you listened to audio in the morning, you listen to a sermon and somehow your day ends up unfolding like this. So I'm listening to this, this, this audio by miles. I'm listening to this audio by miles Monroe.

00:07:34

Joshua T Berglan

And you know, yesterday I shared this. I said, when like Adam was a complete man, like Adam, wasn't looking for Eve. God made the decision that Eve needed to be with Adam. But when, when God decided that God's God goes, Hey Adam, I know you're over here, chilling, doing your thing. You're like the animals Alliance, the flowers, the trees, all of them. They love you. You're working hard. You're being busy, but I need you to have a partner.

00:08:07

Joshua T Berglan

So they didn't hear it. Adam and Eve are sitting there chilling, you know, pull them out of the rib bone, whatever, whatever the story was. So you got Adam and Eve the chilling, and then all of a sudden send introduces into the relationship. So when all this happened, I don't want to get into what the fruit was. None of this matters. The knowledge of good and evil. We're not talking about that. But the thing I heard today that stuck out that's ringing true to the message today is this simply when Adam, when I'm sorry, when Eve took the bite of the Apple and then God called him out on it, God cursed Eve, you're going to have labor pains.

00:08:48

Joshua T Berglan

Now, all of a sudden, you and the husband are not going to communicate. You're going to be at odds. You're going to be from, he's going to be from Mars. Like it talks about this in the Bible. So because of sin, I guess, is what I got from the story because of sin, because of disobedience, because of this. Now all of a sudden we have this battle. When it comes to communication to becoming one, we have a separation, we have a division and it's, and it sucks, but it just straight up sucks.

00:09:27

Joshua T Berglan

So I don't know if we can blame this from sin. The fact that women and men, like you say one thing and they hear a completely different, I don't know how to bridge that gap, but I'm hoping through this kingdom lesson, we're going to be able to figure out how to get back on the same page when it becomes to men and women. Because I know one thing I've tried, every other thing under the sun, how to have a successful relationship. And I failed miserably. It was when I started putting God first that I started to notice, wait a second, there's change here. There's changing my business. There's changing the show.

00:09:58

Joshua T Berglan

There's changing the things that matter to me. And now that I'm, you know, exploring this whole idea of love, again, I'm starting to learn some very powerful, painful lessons again. And I don't want to learn these stupid lessons over and over again. I just want to learn it the first time and move on. I want to have a healthy relationship. I want to have healthy coworker, coworking relationships. Like I want to do things the right way because frankly, the right way is the only way to get to where we need to go.

00:10:28

Joshua T Berglan

So hopefully this helps. Let's get into it. Everything in life has a purpose. Understanding the inherit God given purpose for the male and female will enlighten your understanding of your spouse. So purpose, here we go again. Purpose. Remember we're all created for a purpose. Every one of us, it's all unique. So if men and woman have a purpose, let's figure out how we can get these two to get on the same page.

00:11:02

Joshua T Berglan

If you bought a camera without proper training on how to use it, and you completely disregard the manual, you'd be foolish to get angry when you couldn't operate it. It is just a, it's just as foolish to try to operate a marriage without reading the proper manual. The Bible, therefore shall man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife. And they shall be one flesh Genesis two 24 men. You are trying to leave your mother and father and cleave to the woman you marry.

00:11:34

Joshua T Berglan

The result you and your wife become one. Flesh. Marriage is went to separate unique whole person. Remember a whole Adam didn't know he needed Eve. And it wasn't until he was. I mean, him being whole is what allowed God to say, Hey, this is sounds like a good union, but what happens when you don't have two whole people that get together, I'd love to hear your comments on this.

00:12:07

Joshua T Berglan

When you continually place your parents' opinions and views before your spouses, you're planting seeds of destruction and you will eat the fruit of divorce. Remember there's bad fruit, bad trees, bad roots produce bad fruit. I've made this mistake too. When you go to when I'm so used to going to my mom for everything, like in my previous relate relationships in marriages, it was, I went to my mom that wasn't right, but a lot of men do this by the way, like ladies, but ladies that are listening right now, how many of you dealt with this in your marriage?

00:12:46

Joshua T Berglan

Where the boy, the man or boy wasn't ready to let go of mommy and daddy or mommy in particular, the boundary that God has established for the one flesh experience is the husband and wife relationship. Marriage Ables us to enjoy sex to the fullest. Sex is a physical sign of a spiritual act. The giving of oneself completely to another for another God did not initiate the human race by putting a parent and child in the garden of Eden.

00:13:18

Joshua T Berglan

He put out him and Eve, they're husband and wife that shows that the primary human relationship, the family is husband and wife. And they are key to every other relationship. Understanding and living in God's original purpose for men and women is crucial for right relationships between husband and wives. If we fight against God's purpose, we'll be unfulfilled and frustrated. He made us the way we are for his purposes and our benefit. Think about it.

00:13:48

Joshua T Berglan

Your purpose has a benefit. Does it not living in your purpose? Does it bring you joy? So why wouldn't you want to get in a relationship where you had a similar purpose, similar vision. God created men and women equally, and he created them different different doesn't mean one is inferior or superior to the other. It simply means different.

00:14:18

Joshua T Berglan

The differences between men and women are necessary because of their God. Given purposes, males and females are not different because of society, environment, or family upbringing they're are different by design husbands. This means your wife is the way she is because of why she is likewise wives. Your husband is the way he is because of why he is because God is love his plans. Embody. What is best for us? His purpose requires two sexes working together in cooperation to accomplish a mutual vision.

00:14:54

Joshua T Berglan

There it is. Again, according accordingly, males and females have complimentary designs that enable them to fulfill God's purpose together. The biblical functions of an effective husband are worship. It's a man's job. Delete his family in worship and praise and seeking God work, cultivate, protect, teach any male, not carrying out.

00:15:25

Joshua T Berglan

These functions is malfunctioning. Let's do that again. So, and kingdom rules here, men, let's be honest. Where, where are we falling short here, leading in worship, leading and work, cultivating, protecting and teaching. That's teaching the family. It's leading them. Now. Obviously, if you're not married to a Christian man, then the wife has got to step up. But initially it was created for the man to do.

00:15:56

Joshua T Berglan

It's a man's job to lead any, any, any male, not carrying out. These functions is functioning husbands. In order to be the provider, God created you to be, you must have two things, a vision. And the means for provision, where there is no vision, the people perish, but he that keep it the law happy is he Proverbs 29 18. Having a family vision is so important that if you don't have it, there will be no discipline.

00:16:28

Joshua T Berglan

It keeps you alive focused. And on course now that's that's controversial. What is it? That's why no one likes the mother-in-law. That's pretty funny. Happy Tuesday, Sharon. Good to see you. That's actually kind of funny. No one likes the mother-in-law. Some other laws are great, but a family vision. I've never thought about that. Like how many of you out there that have families have a family vision, especially Christ centered families.

00:17:00

Joshua T Berglan

Like how many of you actually have a vision for the family? That's not what I want. I don't, I don't have a family, but I have a vision in my head for what I want my family to look like and, and how I want it to behave, how I want it to go out in the world and do its thing. And it's part of the vision that I write down.

00:17:30

Joshua T Berglan

I do think that that matters. I mean, especially if you're going to leave it lead a kingdom family, and again, some of you are not familiar with the kingdom term. Some of you don't even care what kingdom is for me. It's the root of my beliefs. It is, this is what escapes, the religious aspect of following Jesus is living kingdom. So, but living kingdom is, is all encompassing. It's work. It's play it's it's it's family.

00:18:00

Joshua T Berglan

It's relationship with the Lord. It's worship. It's all of that and all that matters. So do you have a, do you have a key? I'm sorry. Do you have a vision for your family? It's good to know. I never had one before. And you know what? Because of that things got a little funky. Well, there was a lot of reasons. Things got funky. It wasn't exactly the best human being in the world. A husband, without a clear part. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:18:30

Joshua T Berglan

A husband's purpose is to lead teach and stay in the presence of the Lord. So he so that he can now, sorry, a husband's purpose is to lead, teach and stay in the presence of the Lord so that he can know where his family is going and where they should be going. A husband without a clear purpose and vision for his life makes for a frustrated wife. Your wife is a helpmate, but if you're not doing anything, how can you expect your wife to help with it?

00:19:04

Joshua T Berglan

Again, another thing I'm not trying to get any of your ladies to throw your man under the bus, but think about this for a second. How many in your, in your, in, in your relationships, how many times have you asked yourself, or you've been frustrated with your partner? Because it seems like he's got a new idea every week of something he's going to try. Like you didn't stick to anything that is no vision.

00:19:38

Joshua T Berglan

That is not being in tune with this purpose. So if you're dating somebody right now, or you're married to somebody that doesn't know their purpose, it doesn't have a vision, send them to Friday night's episode, because it's a great example of how to discover your, your vision, your purpose. When you have two totally opposite and separate visions within one home, you have division, which leads to divorce before I even knew this, by the way, I didn't know that any of what I was saying was biblical.

00:20:08

Joshua T Berglan

It was just something I believed about sharing a vision. I've been telling, I've been saying this for ever it, cause it makes sense. When you have a shared vision, you have that to focus on and mind you, I know the details matter these in the moment, things matter. But when you share a vision, it allows you to escape the bull crap that relationships get stuck in like miscommunication, a misunderstanding like those things.

00:20:43

Joshua T Berglan

Like they, they, they there's so petty sometimes. And like, are we not giving enough grace? When we say there was a misunderstanding, there's a miscommunication. That's a separate subject. Nevermind. So shared vision. But a shared vision allows you to not get stuck in the mud over little petty things. Because if you have a big enough vision, these little stupid things, they they're just some little specks, little ducts.

00:21:13

Joshua T Berglan

That mean nothing because you share a vision and I'm telling you right now, if you can truly share a vision and I'm talking about overall, like what the family looks like, what, what career pursuit, what we're pursuing when you can line that up, that is special because it's rare, but it's so important. But men aren't some, you know what there's women that are watching that are the breadwinners for their family.

00:21:46

Joshua T Berglan

Think about this. If you have a big vision, like say it's a, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a global world tour for gratitude. Unfiltered. How in the heck am I ever going to date somebody that wants me home at five o'clock every day for dinner? How am I ever going to date somebody or marry somebody for that matter? That is going to be upset. If I'm working at 10 o'clock at night or 5:00 AM or 4:00 AM, or having to answer the phone at dinner.

00:22:21

Joshua T Berglan

And I know sometimes that gets old, but when you have those things and you have a big vision, like how, how much have you resented in the past when you had somebody nagging at you that you work too much and mind you yes. Plays important. Not saying that family time is important, but if you're ambitious and you're pursuing something big, how annoying is it to have someone nag at you for working that happens when you don't have a shared vision or that happens when you're not honest about what your expectations are in that relationship.

00:22:58

Joshua T Berglan

So for me, I'm ambitious. I'm going to work weird hours. I have a routine. I spend the good part of my morning. My, the good part of my morning when I wake up is with God. That is a priority. No one comes before that. Not Facebook, not Instagram, not my mama, nobody. It's my time with God. And if I don't have that time with God, odds are, I'm probably gonna bite your freaking head off. If you mess with me, because I got all that poison in my brain and I got to get rid of it.

00:23:29

Joshua T Berglan

I get rid of it. When I spend time with God, then I go to the gym and I let out that most of the time sometimes still have it. But that shared vision. You respect when that other person says, you know, I gotta work. And then you find lovable ways. If it may be, if it's going too much, you find a loving way to say, Hey, I would really love to spend time with you. Like next Tuesday at 3:30 PM. Can we put that in your calendar?

00:24:00

Joshua T Berglan

I mean, that could work. I don't know when you have two totally opposite and separate visions within one home, you have division, which leads to divorce. Every kingdom divided against itself, King and queen the kingdom. Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation and every city or house divided against itself will not stand. Look. I don't know why in the Bible, like when Paul's talking, I forgot what maybe it's Chronicle Corinthians.

00:24:34

Joshua T Berglan

I think we talks about like, you know, man, shouldn't you be like me and be celibate, man. Really shouldn't get married. I don't know why he talks about all that. Probably because managing people is tough. I mean, it really is, but God gave us sexual organs to use him. So I just can't imagine that he didn't want us to just, I don't know. I don't know what Paul's talking about. I really don't. Sometimes I question Paul, but that's okay. Anyway, the point is, when you're doing life, you can't do it alone.

00:25:09

Joshua T Berglan

Like I don't care how powerful you are because you're all powerful. Especially when you actually understand who you are, you're really powerful, like really powerful. But when you like, you can't, you need help. You need support. That's remember it's a body of Christ. You may be the head or whatever, or the arm, but you like, you need your other arms. You need your legs, you need your torso.

00:25:41

Joshua T Berglan

You need your abs in your mouth. Do you need your ears? You need all of it. You need that. You need a partner. You can have someone to have your back Ryder dye. As I like to call it that ride or die chick. That the girl that basically, if you need to you Rob a bank together, but not really because we believe in kingdom stuff and we don't steal, but I'm staying like that mentality of like, I don't care. What's happening. My back's against the wall. I've got your back. I'm not turning away from you. I got your back.

00:26:13

Joshua T Berglan

And the other, when you have that, you have somebody that helps you watch your blind spots and your blind spots are not just people attacking you, but maybe your blind spot is a weakness. You have. You're not going to be great at everything. So maybe that partner compliments you where you're weak, where you are weak. She is strong. Of course you have God too, but you have that. But the other part too is you have somebody to hold you accountable. If somebody to hold you high, you have somebody to pray with you.

00:26:47

Joshua T Berglan

It's partnerships are powerful. And the last thing you need is to be divided. So having a shared vision with a foundation of the Lord to me makes an unstoppable King and queen men. You will never start off with the woman you want. That's why you were cultivators. Your job is to cultivate your wife so she can be good. Wait, your job is to cultivate your wife so she can be all God created her to be, you need to nurture all the potential.

00:27:26

Joshua T Berglan

She has noted, noted men. You will never start off with the woman you want. That's why you're cultivators. Your job is to cultivate your wife so she can be all God created her to be, you need to nurture all the potential she has. How do you envision your wife and what you think she can be?

00:27:57

Joshua T Berglan

Whatever you envision for her is what you will cultivate. Dang. I've never actually thought about that. Huh? Too many husbands grumble about the kind of wife they wish they had. You want her to look nice, buy clothes for her? You want her to have a nice, a hairstyle pay for her to go to the beauty salon.

00:28:27

Joshua T Berglan

Want her in shape, go with her to the gym. I'm sure that's controversial to some of you women. You're like, I don't need no man to buy me something. But you know what I mean? That's fair. But I think it's awesome. Like when you send your woman to the hair salon and she get her hair, did whatever, like whatever, it may be a spa day, you know, because she's been working hard, she's taking care of the kids and you know what?

00:28:58

Joshua T Berglan

Her feet hurt. I mean, you'd rub her feet. You rubbing her feet is better, but you get her a professional massage. That's pretty awesome too. I don't know how you, Hey baby. Once you get in shape, come to the gym with me. I don't know how that conversation happens. That's a brave, brave, brave human being. Maybe it's just better that you, if you want somebody to work out with you, maybe they do it already. Cause trying to get somebody to work out that doesn't work out. It's not that easy. Just saying, okay, men, this is, this is a hard pill to swallow.

00:29:33

Joshua T Berglan

When I'm about to read, a husband should give up his egocentric desires in order to serve his wife and family, a real man takes care of others before himself. Usher puts a different perspective on my routine. I'm obsessed with my routine. I've always been obsessed with my routine even before I was really like I was walking with the Lord. I was obsessed with routine because it was like the one part of my day I can control.

00:30:05

Joshua T Berglan

And then after that it was just chaos. I became obsessed with this because it's what keeps my mind. Right? But one of the things that I, I really value with my time, cause I do give a lot of my time to other people is working out as an extension of my quiet time. And I don't like to be interrupted. I don't like to talk to people in the middle of my workout. Like, can't stand it. It's kind of like when people it's, it's actually about is poisonous to my brain is when someone calls me that knows I'm doing the show live.

00:30:43

Joshua T Berglan

That one still blows me away. But like that right there, a husband should give up his egocentric desires in order to serve as wife and family. I can't tell you how many times I chose anything in everything before my family. And you know what? That was me not being a good steward. I wanted to go out with a guy. I still, I like I wanted to still go hit the club. I'm not kidding. When like when I was married, I wanted to go out and do these things because frankly, marriage life was sucked and it was boring because I didn't marry somebody that shared a vision with me.

00:31:17

Joshua T Berglan

It was wrong. I was gotten the relationship cause it was codependent. It wasn't fun. It wasn't exciting. I didn't want to put them first because I wanted to do what I wanted to do first. Or I resented the fact when I would get lectured about working too much. But I was focused. I was building something. It mattered to me. It didn't matter. It was still inappropriate wrong. But reading this, it's funny how you can get advice from other people, but sometimes you don't have the ears for it, but then you hear it from someone else like someone you respect.

00:31:48

Joshua T Berglan

And then they tell you, Hey, a husband should give up his egocentric desires in order to serve his wife and family. A real man takes care of others before himself hearing that makes me go, Ooh, it's another lesson I get to learn. The woman is the glory of a man. First Corinthians 11 seven. The glory of something is its true nature or best expression of itself.

00:32:20

Joshua T Berglan

The woman is the glory of the man. The glory of something is its true nature or best expression of itself. The sun in its glory, when it shines at noon and husbands are in their glory when their wives are radiant. So it's kind of like, what does that don't mess with a scorned woman. There's nothing worse. There was nothing more frightening than a scorned woman. The man I'll tell you what, when you see a joyful woman, there is nothing in the world, more attractive and better come to think of it.

00:32:58

Joshua T Berglan

We have a response, Oh this I'm sorry. But Rick reading, some of this stuff is like kicking me in the nuts because I just realized where I've failed over the course of my life and relationships. But again, I'm learning some of this stuff with you guys. It's not just me like going, I'm not preaching at anybody here. I mean, there's some things that get preachy about because there's certain things I just know, but I'm also learning with you. So if you're going well, wait a second. Isn't he supposed to be teaching us this?

00:33:28

Joshua T Berglan

Well, you know what? Yeah, I got to learn. I got to learn to not. Hi Lauren Harris. Hi mr. Yeah. I'm using the stream yard technology again. We'll say, I think that comes naturally for wives when it is not done in exchange that can shift bringing the thunder Jessica. Well hello, mr. Himes from the <inaudible> network.

00:33:59

Joshua T Berglan

So true. Walking on different paths will tear you apart. That's right. Todd hope you're doing well, man. So good to see you here. Okay. Husbands, have a great responsibility to reflect the image of God so that this can be reflected to their wives and their wives can reflect God's image and return men as cultivators, you were supposed to make everything you touch better than it was when you first encountered it, find new ways to help make your wife better.

00:34:37

Joshua T Berglan

So Lauren Harris is on here real quick. And by the way, one of the greatest where's Lauren there where'd you go this guy. So those of you that are watching right now in any of the platforms that you can see, one of the best visionary coaches ever. I know he coaches and speaking, but if you're having it's like you want to work with your vision. That's the man to talk to just letting you know Lauren Harris is legit when it comes to this Lauren also.

00:35:08

Joshua T Berglan

So Lauren and I have known each other for a long time. And Lauren was a part of my life when I was in the previous relationship that I refer back to the five-year relationship. That was horribly toxic. There was love there, but it was horribly toxic. And he said something to me that was really profound and it was powerful and it stuck in my brain. It became a bit of a trap, but sometimes you have to learn to when to let go. So this is the lesson I learned. Lauren said to me, you have to leave the situation better than what you went into it.

00:35:42

Joshua T Berglan

Well, when you do a lot of damage to a relationship, that's a hard hold the dig out of. Sometimes you do have to just kind of wash your hands and go, you know what? This is not, this is not good. Like this is there's no fixing this, but going into it, like I think trying to do it after the fact is a little hard sometimes and can be dangerous. You can get you in more trouble than what you need. However, if you go into a situation with the mindset, I'm going to leave this better than when I got here.

00:36:17

Joshua T Berglan

If you do that with everything, I don't care. If it's your work, I don't care if it's dating. I don't care if it's cleaning the house, whatever it is, do it better than what it was before. You said, he let you stay at their house and they've made the bed will make the bed better. Like it's a good habit to have not saying that. I've always been this way. Not saying I practice it in everything I do either, but I'm telling you with that mindset, how can I improve this? How can I improve this? And you know what, if it doesn't work out, the one thing that you have going for you is this.

00:36:52

Joshua T Berglan

You left that situation better. You help them. You get to wash your hands. If you need to, because you've done the work to make it better. Now that said, hopefully with the mindset of, I want to make this situation better. I want to improve. I want to grow with this person. You come, you combine that with a shared vision. Guess what you have that to me is your King and queen. That's your power couple.

00:37:23

Joshua T Berglan

That's your don't mess with me. Like you kingdom, elite couples. Thank you. Shirin perfectly said thank you. Okay, men, you were built to handle tough things. No matter how rough it gets know that you've got the right stuff to handle it and work out each problem. God designed you to come through every storm husbands.

00:37:54

Joshua T Berglan

When the time comes to lead your family through challenging situations, step up and say, I am an overcomer. Nothing can overcome me. I have written to you young men because you were strong and the word of God abides in you and you have overcome the wicked one first, John two 14, because you were strong. The word of God abides in you lives in you you've overcome the wicked one. Your wife should always know that. No matter what happens, you're not going to fold up and be afraid of difficulty because you've got what it takes to make it through.

00:38:33

Joshua T Berglan

I'll tell you one thing for all my relationship. What's up Christie. Good to see you. So good to see you for all of my relationship struggles. The one thing that I will tell you is that I have this ability to just not give up about anything. I've always just had this attitude. And again, I talk about this all the time. You say you do how you do. One thing is how you do everything. Well, look, I don't have a healthy track record of relationships, but the only thing I could say is that I was a fighter and I didn't give up. I did everything I could to try to work and fix and make things better.

00:39:05

Joshua T Berglan

But again, that kind of led me be in trouble, which is also ironic because I also had the horrible problem of pushing people away. You go, Oh, I'm not going to let you hurt me. So I'm going to push you away and I'm going to hurt you before you can hurt me for the first hint of hurting that I'm going to hurt you. But the one thing that I think has carried over from all of those unhealthy habits is that, is this, I forgive quickly a move on quickly. I mean, I don't forget, unfortunately.

00:39:37

Joshua T Berglan

And sometimes I'll tap back into something to reference it, which is bad. I've got to break that habit. I get to break that habit. But like, I'm not, if I believe in something I'm not giving up prime example should be in San Diego right now. I'm not doesn't mean I don't, I'm not on a world tour yet. I haven't given up on my dream. I know what's going to happen. Just don't know when, but I'm going to keep moving.

00:40:08

Joshua T Berglan

I mean there's times and moments that I want to give up and quit on my dream. There's I get frustrated. Saturday night prime example. I have things I want done a certain way. I want to do things in excellence. I want to be awesome at what I do. I want to procreate. I want to, I want that the, the, the, the, the, the, the message that is shared to have an impact on people. And I want that. I also want to do it a certain way that it's professional and it's done in excellence. It's not sloppy. It's not crappy or poor quality.

00:40:39

Joshua T Berglan

I want to do it. Right. But it doesn't always work out that way. Neither do relationships. Neither do partnerships. Life happens sometimes. Yeah. Don't give up. God gives us the strength to get through all things. We all have it. Yes. Every one of us, we're not special. I mean, we are special in the sense that we're all uniquely made and uniquely qualified for our individualized purpose, which is pretty special, but we're not that special.

00:41:13

Joshua T Berglan

Like we're not getting, we, God has equipped us with all the same things you can't give up at your destiny. I know I'm not getting, Oh, if you're talking to me, I'm not giving up. There's no way I'm giving up. But there are moments like that. When I look, I get elevated. Sometimes man, I get so excited and so pumped up about stuff that, and in my expectations get set because for whatever reason, whether it's things I'm told or things I believe or whatever, and then it'll happen. And I mean, I'm talking about like, I get hardcore excited about these things, and if they don't happen, like I get butt hurt about it for a little bit.

00:41:49

Joshua T Berglan

I get a little upset. I get disappointed and I'm, I kind of want to go, ah, screw it. But you know what? I don't, I don't. And I will. I'm like, I'm not going to do it. I mean, I didn't quit when I thought I was gonna be in jail for five years, because like, God used me even behind bars. The point is I'm not going to quit on a relationship that I value. And if I believe in it, I'm not giving up. You know, the one relationship I'll never give up on because it's been the one that's never failed me is my relationship with Jesus.

00:42:24

Joshua T Berglan

It's the one thing that's always constant. I mean, do I always feel the Holy spirit flow through me? No, not exactly. Do I always feel the presence of God? No, not exactly, but I know he's with me. I know he's with me. I know he's with me because you guys are so awesome that sometimes in those moments where I'm feeling like, okay, God, you abandoned me. I get these random messages from you guys. You send me a message and go, just want you to know that God says he really loves you.

00:42:57

Joshua T Berglan

I get those messages. And it's awesome. And I really, really appreciate it. I got one today. I needed to hear it at that time because I was about to beat my head against the wall. Hey, Aaron, I may go over. Is that okay? Since errands watching, I may go longer than an hour say, cause I'm feeling froggy. Wait, your wife should always know that. No matter what happens, you're not going to fold up or be afraid of difficulty because you've got what it takes to make it well.

00:43:38

Joshua T Berglan

Yeah. Someone may say, brother is your woman at home giving you grief. Let's go get a drink. No, you go home. Men of purpose. Understand that? Anything that numbs their minds and slows down their logical thinking processes is an imp, is an empty to themselves, an enemy to themselves and their family. Men of purpose, understand that? Anything that numbs their minds and slows down their logical thinking processes is an enemy to themselves and their families.

00:44:12

Joshua T Berglan

Oh my God. I can't. You know what? When I would go drink after work, do you want drinking after work or when I take plastic surgeons out or dermatologist, you know what happened? We would have drinks. And next thing I know, break out the cocaine. Well, guess what happened when I do cocaine? Oh, look at this. Thank you, sir. Oh, wait. Where'd you go. Thank you, Aaron. Appreciate you, sir. Seriously, fricking wife. She's always negative me telling me to come home and like I got work to do.

00:44:44

Joshua T Berglan

I don't want to be bugged. And if I get there, she's gonna be mad at me. If I'm on my phone and I got things to do, I got all these reports to write. Thank God I don't have to do this anymore. And like, and she's nagging at me. Screw this. Hey buddy, let's go. Let's go meet us for happy hour. And I, I, you know what? I'll have a couple of drinks I need to, I'm so stressed out. I need to have a couple drinks. Like I just I'm so mad right now. Like I just need to clear my head. Two drinks turns to four fourth rink to do you know what sounds really good right now?

00:45:14

Joshua T Berglan

Cocaine. Let's get some cocaine. Okay. Two, eight balls later. Not coming home. That became a routine for me. That's real. All those feelings are essential to test our commitment. But when the promises of God come to pass, that's good stuff. I liked that, Sharon. So yeah, don't go home. Cause here's the thing that in itself is a habit.

00:45:48

Joshua T Berglan

You get in a fight, call your body. You want to vent, you vent to your buddy. You go have a drink that can create you do that a couple times you start a habit, right? It's the same kind of habit. Where were you getting a fight? And you say I'm done. Even if you don't mean it, you're being emotional. You're angry on done. What happens if you say at one time, any, any guests, I can see all the comments today. So any suggestion, what happens the first time you say I'm done?

00:46:22

Joshua T Berglan

Or the first time you say, ah, go F yourself or you call your wife or girlfriend the B word, what happens other than her wanting to cut your throat? What happens? It gets easier to do again. And then all of a sudden it hurt the first time you heard it. The second time may hurt still. But now you've created this habit where it's easier for, to come out of your mouth.

00:46:52

Joshua T Berglan

When the crap, bad habits lead to bad habits, those are hard to break. And words are hard to forget. They are expecially. When like you take things to heart, you take people's words. When people say they're going to do something for you and they don't do it, it hurts. It feels like betrayal. It stabs you in the heart. It's heartbreaking. It's the same thing. With those loose words that we can say to people becomes easier. But also what happens is it creates a state of confusion.

00:47:25

Joshua T Berglan

I mean, in some way you could be on the way to causing somebody PTSD. You can, you can give somebody PTSD with your words, just for the record. You're speaking it into existence. That's right. Oh, let me tell you something. Yeah, there are words that don't go away. Yes. Then I'll trust is broken. Yes. Brilliant ladies. Excellent job. Thank you. So you got this, like you say these words and then, and then it creates this confusion of not knowing.

00:48:01

Joshua T Berglan

Okay. Wait, or do they mean it? Is it real? Are they being honest? Like you don't know. And when you create that uncertainty, then there's no way to have trust. So we gotta be careful about what we say. Oh, don't cry, please. Any man who comes home, grabs his wife by the color and shelter woman.

00:48:31

Joshua T Berglan

You have a cook me any food yet should expect his next meal. That poison men. If you're beating up your wife and children, stop it. God didn't give you strength to abuse your family members. He gave you the strength to protect them. They should feel secure. Every time you show up, not afraid. My biggest regret in the world, people feared me.

00:49:20

Joshua T Berglan

Family feared me, friends feared me. People feared me because I was unpredictable, emotionally, immature, a tag, crazy, emotionally, unstable, moody.

00:49:50

Joshua T Berglan

And the way that I showed up, you know, around family, friends, all the people, the main people that were supposed to love me, they were horrified to be around me. And I don't even think I cared for the longest time. I mean, of course I'm here now. And I don't show up that way anymore. But look, if any of you are struggling with, you know, you're just the way that you are showing up in your relationship, not just with your spouse, but like in coworkers and friends and family, the way you're showing up.

00:50:24

Joshua T Berglan

I just want to tell you something, you can turn it around. You're not a lost cause if anyone was a lost cause it was me and maybe by earthly standards, maybe by all the professional book writers and the, the, the, the expert therapist and everything under the sun, it may be like to them. I was a lost cause I was the lost sheep, but you know what?

00:50:57

Joshua T Berglan

My Jesus, your Jesus, the Jesus, that desires, you can fix all that. You can fix your insecurities because frankly, with a lot of men's behavior stemming from an insecurity and unresolved trauma secrets, God can heal all that. God will heal everything that you'll give him. And just believe there are many guys who can shoot a three pointer, but can't bring up their children or sustain a family.

00:51:33

Joshua T Berglan

There's a lot of people out there and go make a crap ton of money, but you're not, you're not bringing up your children for sustaining your family. You have, they haven't learned how to make that same drive and channel it properly through the word of God. And if you just put God first and everything simplifies it, everything doesn't mean that life won't get complicated, but it gets easier for God. So loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, John three 16, God expose the true nature of love because he loved.

00:52:11

Joshua T Berglan

He gave you cannot love without giving males and females should respect and love one another. Jesus reinforced this principle when he said one of the greatest commandments is love your neighbor as yourself. If we really understand this truth, there would be more patience, understanding and forgiveness among men and women. Our family relationships can be restored in Jesus Christ. God wants to bring his life changing power to broken marriages, damaged families and individuals who need reconciliation with God and a restoration of his purposes for them.

00:52:50

Joshua T Berglan

Love is stronger than pride. How many prideful people out there are you come on, raise your hands. How many private people out are out there? How many of you let your pride get in the way of love? Be brave enough to break down the walls. The barricade your spouse from your heart, a dog is not man's best. Friend a dog cannot tell you your faults or point out your weaknesses.

00:53:24

Joshua T Berglan

A woman can. How cowardly is it to allow your pet to become the object of your affections rather than your spouse? That's kind of like thinking, Oh, if we have kids, that'll save a relationship. It's hard enough having a good relationship with yourself. And then you got problems in your spousal relationship. And then, you know, Hey, let's bring another child into this.

00:53:57

Joshua T Berglan

Another personality, really? When God made woman, he drew her out of man. So the man would have someone to love who was of the same nature. It was love that brought about the woman's existence. Let each one of you in particular. So love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband, FH Ephesians five 33.

00:54:30

Joshua T Berglan

A lot of men get stuck on and I'm guilty of this as all get out. But a lot of men get stuck on shoot as a respect me, are you living in being a man that's worthy of respect and why anyone would ever choose to date someone they don't respect or look up to blows my mind.

00:55:00

Joshua T Berglan

That one freaks me out, but you know what? I did it, but like looking back at it, it makes zero sense. But are you, you're demanding respect from people around you, your loved ones and your family, but are you being a man that is worthy of respect? Women that want to be respected and treated like ladies, are you being a lady?

00:55:30

Joshua T Berglan

Are you being a woman? Just because you have a vagina doesn't mean that you deserve respect. Same way goes. Just because you have a penis doesn't mean you deserve respect. Little boys have penises, a little boys, frankly. Don't deserve respect yet. I mean, you know, you respectful, but I'm talking about respect authority. You got to walk in that to be it. Having your hair did fancy nails, big boobs, and a hot outfit does not mean that you're worthy of respect men, just because you rock a suit and you look all pretty and your black tie doesn't mean you're worthy of respect.

00:56:21

Joshua T Berglan

No husbands should ever be intimidated or insecure when his wife makes more money than he does when security Mary's insecurity problems occur. Because that man identifies his position with possessions rather than the potential God placed in him. You know, one of the things that, one of the things that I believe that allowed me to get away with a lot of the atrocities that I committed in my past was that people saw in me what I didn't even see until recently women.

00:57:20

Joshua T Berglan

I think, I don't know. Cause I was like this with women too. Let's just go in general here. How many people have you dated that you stayed in the relationship because you saw their potential. We can get blinded by potential. Like we seen potential in someone like, yeah, I know they're a little screwed up right now.

00:57:51

Joshua T Berglan

I know that there are a compulsive liar right now. I know that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, and you're making excuses for them. Look, it's good to see people and see that they have like another level to go. And like, you want to build them up. But man, if you're digging somebody out of their grave, that is the wrong approach. And you know what I mean? Potential only gets you so far is a committed action. That's supporting that potential. That's what you could ask yourself.

00:58:28

Joshua T Berglan

The money thing is interesting too. Cause we live in that world now where, I mean, it's a little bit different there's women that are just killing it. You know, I don't think men should worry about that because frankly you can still lead your home and your wife make more money than you to say a man whose wife makes more money than he does, but who is doing his utmost to work a job and help fulfill his wife's spiritual financial, emotional, intellectual needs is being a good provider. Let me say that over. So remember what I just said about the money thing? Like it doesn't who makes more money.

00:58:59

Joshua T Berglan

It could matter to one of the people in the relationships, but I'm saying it shouldn't, especially when the woman makes more money than a man, because a man whose wife makes more money than he does, but who is doing his utmost to work a job and help fulfill his wife's spiritual, financial, emotional, and intellectual needs is being a good provider. You can still lead your home. As the point, husbands are always to be accountable and responsible. Real men don't play the blame game.

00:59:29

Joshua T Berglan

Always pointing a finger at everyone, but themselves. Who's guilty of that. If you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother or spouse has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go your way first, be reconciled to your mother or your brother or spouse, and then come and offer your gift.

01:00:00

Joshua T Berglan

So wait a second. So you gotta be reconciled with your spouse, then come off of your gift. Okay? So this is where a lot of men have been getting it wrong, including me is like we, we make, we make our spouse mad and we're like, no apologies, right? Hey honey, I got you a pretty candle. I got your candle here. I love you. She's going to receive that gift.

01:00:31

Joshua T Berglan

Like you basically crapped in her Cheerios. Why didn't I think of this sooner, make the amends, then, then buy the gift. Thank you dr. Monroe for that wisdom, because I didn't know that because how many people, how many of you dated somebody or been married to somebody that those gifts, that problems I dated somebody for their love language was gifts. First of all, here's another, here's the metal dating tip for you.

01:01:02

Joshua T Berglan

Only date people that your love language matches theirs. I can't cause trying to learn someone else's love. Language is about like trying to learn Mandarin, Mandarin, Chinese. Have you ever tried good luck with that or trying to read Farsi for the first time we can't fix anyone but ourselves I'm freezing on you.

01:01:37

Joshua T Berglan

Wait, you can get blinded by potential. Yeah. Love is stronger than pride. People with unresolved issues, date people that are not good, a good fit for them. Well, yeah, because if we have unresolved issues, that means we have something. We have a void in our life and our heart. We have an area wound. And so if you seek outside of yourself to try to fill that wound, guess what happens?

01:02:07

Joshua T Berglan

Not only is that wound still there because you're not really filling it. Then you create more wounds. Those wounds become contagious. You pass your wound onto else. One of my friends it'll stretch you to learn someone else's love language. You know what? Selena, you can take that advice. Wait, my husband's both had different love languages. I'm only giving you the cheat code.

01:02:36

Joshua T Berglan

Okay? If you guys want to take the time to learn someone, else's love language, go for it. But let me tell my story about gifts. So dated somebody who their love language was gifts. And every time we got in a fight in which if you hang out with me long enough, we're going to fight because it's half the time. People can't understand what I'm saying or there's some, whatever. Like, it just seems to follow me everywhere, misunderstandings.

01:03:06

Joshua T Berglan

So, but every time we would fight, even like it was hurtful, like it was, there was a demand. You buy me gifts. What are you going to buy me to make this? Right? Like I heard those things first and foremost, he ever say those words to me, ain't buying anything. Like I like to buy gifts, like surprise people or because I feel led to, or because I feel all warm and fuzzy because of something you've done, you know? Or just because I'm thinking of you, like, that's what I want to buy gift.

01:03:38

Joshua T Berglan

Not when you're going to make this right. You're going to buy me gifts that ain't going to fly. I don't understand that. So you don't have to take my advice Selena to stretch yourself, but you know what? Relationships are stretchy enough as it is just living your own good life is that's tough enough. Why in the heck do I want to try to stretch myself more and try to learn your love language?

01:04:09

Joshua T Berglan

I don't understand it. It doesn't make sense. Again. It's speaking a foreign language. It's speaking Bay routine or Afghanistan and just kidding. So no, you can stretch yourself all you want. I want no part of it. I'm very fortunate to be able to share the same love language right now. And it's wonderful because you know what makes communication easier, but you know what? It's still not easy.

01:04:39

Joshua T Berglan

There's still mistakes. So you can take your stretchy and I want no part of it. None. All right, wait a second. Wait, where'd this go? Some people fight to prove or see their, see the passion to make sure the care is still there. Wow. That is deep. Jessica be intentional. I love that Chrissy. Okay. When something is wrong in your marriage, it's up to you to make it right.

01:05:09

Joshua T Berglan

Don't wait for the other person to make the first move men. As far as God is concerned, you're for marriage. When you're able to teach your family, his word, all right, men. And mostly there's mostly women on here that I can see right now that are live. But on the replay, maybe we have some men. So let's, let's talk this. I heard this three days ago, listening to them. There's an audio version of this. And it really, you know what?

01:05:41

Joshua T Berglan

I have a really hard time keeping things secret. So this person right here, I referenced quite a bit. You just don't know it. Not only she may manage her, but you know, she's yeah, she's a special person in my life. So I heard this and I, cause I, I'm only doing this. I'm brave. I'm pulling back the wall. And I don't really do this very, very often because I have enjoyed keeping some things private for the first time in my life.

01:06:12

Joshua T Berglan

But I want to talk about this because I, it matters. So men, as far as God is concerned, you're ready for marriage. When you were able to teach your family, his word, if you don't know the word, you should make it a priority to study and gain knowledge of the Bible. You can't teach what you don't know. So I heard this and I thought, okay, I'm gearing up. Like my heart is open for love and for family, for, you know, children, all of this stuff.

01:06:47

Joshua T Berglan

And my heart is open for that. Like legitimately. And you've been watching the show long enough. You know, I've been talking about it for a long time, like a long time, because that's what happens when God gets in your heart. When Jesus takes over and transforms your life and you start to take to heart that the, the greatest commandment is to love. And you open your heart up for that. Not only to give it, but to receive it. And sometimes receiving love is a lot harder than giving it. I don't know why that is. It just is.

01:07:17

Joshua T Berglan

Maybe it's a not worthy thing. I don't, I don't know. But the fact is it's harder to receive love for me than it is to give it. But now that it's kind of like flowing in and out like my heart, I was like, I love things. And I love people that I didn't know. I could love. I find myself caring about things and people that I never in my wildest dreams would have cared about before. So it's only natural, right? The furthest to happen. So I hear that, hear what I just read you?

01:07:49

Joshua T Berglan

And I thought, Oh, it's my job to teach the girls about Jesus. It's my job. Literally, five hours later, when I first get that thought, maybe it was more than five hours later. It didn't matter. I get a message from Jessica talking about teaching the girls about God, Jesus and the Holy spirit and sort of praying with them and teaching them about Jesus.

01:08:23

Joshua T Berglan

She beat me to it, but I was so proud in that moment. Like I was so proud and it meant it not only did it mean a lot to me, but inspired me, but also further strengthened and brought home the point that it's my responsibility to lead. But how awesome is it when you have a home or a kingdom home or we'll have a kingdom home when the man is serving the Lord, the woman serving the Lord and the children follow suit because the children will follow the example.

01:09:05

Joshua T Berglan

That's being set by the children or by the, by the parents. And I admired that so much. That was so inspired by that. And it didn't mean now this just in men, if you see your women, you're your woman, your wife, your girlfriend, teaching the kids about Jesus. That doesn't mean that you don't get to that didn't mean like, well, she's got to taken care of. I'm not going to do it. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:09:35

Joshua T Berglan

It means you get to step up your game. Cause it's your responsibility. It's your responsibility. You don't get to pass that off. It's not washing the dishes or putting the dishes up. Cause I like to wash the dishes. I just don't like to put them up. It's kind of like, I like to wash the clothes, but I don't like to fold them. Thank you. So anyway, it meant a lot to me and I respect it, but it doesn't mean that I lose respect.

01:10:09

Joshua T Berglan

I lose the it's still my responsibility, but it's awesome that she's doing it. And mind you we're in different States, but it doesn't matter. Like I'm inspired by that. But that's what a kingdom home does. Okay. Tangent over. So we're going back to the top secret thing I was doing before. Many Christians love to hide behind God. So they don't have to deal with the responsibility of a face to face human relationship. Jesus said he is the way the truth and the life that he never said, he's your excuse to avoid responsibility.

01:10:47

Joshua T Berglan

Many Christians love to hide behind God. So they don't have to deal with the responsibility of a face to face human relationship. I don't know what that means, but here's what I think it means. So after I gave my life to Christ, it was in a, it was still in a relationship. And here's the thing I want to encourage you. You give your heart to Jesus. You're still gonna have things to figure out. It doesn't mean that you fix your head. Like your brain is still a little bit crazy.

01:11:18

Joshua T Berglan

Okay? Holy spirit takes over, but you've got to bring to deal with the bad habits to work through. Like it's, it's a, it's a process. It's not perfect. That's why, if you hear a Christian drop an F bomb, don't judge him. Like, you know, maybe you shouldn't use that language, but you know what? Maybe just gave his life to the Lord a couple of weeks ago. He's still got a potty mouth. You got to give people some grace. Okay. We don't know where people are at anyway. So, but what was going to say about responsibility face to face?

01:11:50

Joshua T Berglan

Oh, so I was in that relationship and then, you know, basically to get out of that relationship, married somebody, I didn't know that caused it. So after the marriage part didn't work out, then I was alone. And then I was isolated for almost a year and didn't date, no sex, nothing. And I grew a lot. I healed a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I got to see areas of my life.

01:12:21

Joshua T Berglan

I got to improve, but here's the thing. You can only be alone so long. Eventually you get to take what you learned and apply it into the world, apply the word of God to your life. You'll change everything. You can't teach what you don't know. So when you're applying the word of God, the kingdom principles to your life, it's again, when you're just yourself and I'm hiding behind God or I'm hiding behind a screen, I have no responsibility for the public. I have no responsibility for you.

01:12:52

Joshua T Berglan

I don't have a one on one relationship with you. That's in the physical because it's digital. But how do you know how far you've really gone? Well, the beauty of relationships are that they are a mirror. It is a reflection of how you show up in the world and no better way to do that than in a romantic relationship because it is going to expose so much about yourself, but work relationships do it too.

01:13:22

Joshua T Berglan

So don't hide behind God. But it was again like, aye. Aye, aye. Back to the point I thought I was healed. I thought I was ready to go. After a year, started dating bad freaking idea. Like I wasn't the, the, the, the L the triggers, like some of these things that I wasn't aware that we're going to be laying in wait, but I didn't wait on God. I assume God had somebody for me, but it wasn't. Right. So, you know what?

01:13:52

Joshua T Berglan

You got to learn all over more time alone. Oops, knocked over my water more time alone. But this time around, I felt like I was ready because of how things happened because of when I prayed and the way you know, now that people know Jessica and I came together, it was very special and unique. And there's been a lot, a long time of getting to know each other and things like that. But the, even that, and like I'm, and we share a vision. We have a lot of things that are like perfectly in stride.

01:14:25

Joshua T Berglan

We communicate well. For some reason, she thinks like me most of the time, which is terrifying. I'm sure, but for me, it works a lot and it, and it feels amazing. Still got things to work out still the way I show up the way I respond to her feedback, communication, there's things that become a tad challenging sometimes because of old past behaviors that I have, that I have not learned how to properly handle yet.

01:14:57

Joshua T Berglan

But when you find somebody that you share a vision with, you have kind of the same heart, the same goals, the same purpose, so to speak, and that aligns you all. And that, and you and my job is to make her feel comfortable. Like I'm not going anywhere. In other words, there's no bailing there. There's no pushing away saying, you know what, screw you. You're going to hurt me. So I'm going to push you away first. And like, it's stopping that behavior, like no more of that, but this is not how I'm going to be get to work through things.

01:15:31

Joshua T Berglan

And when you find somebody that you respect and they respect you, you share common goals. You both have faith in the Lord. You're able to go, you know what? I'm going to work through this with you. We're going to forgive. And we're going to learn this lesson together so we can put it to bed and we can move on because there's nothing worse than a relationship. And I refuse to do it this time around, because I know that God has brought me some, brought me a very special situation, but that said, I get to learn these lessons.

01:16:05

Joshua T Berglan

And it is up to me to not carry the crap forward into every new argument and new fights. Because guess what? There's always going to be new arguments. There's always going to be new fights. We get to learn. It's better to be honest and open and get it all out on the open now. So we don't have to deal with it later. And if your relationship can't handle that, you're in the wrong relationship because you should be able to handle unfiltered, honest feedback.

01:16:44

Joshua T Berglan

Many Christians loved, okay. But the three God given purposes of a woman are enhancer, reflector, life giver, or incubator. We're going to stop there because we're going to do this tomorrow. This is a lot more fun than I thought. So we're just gonna keep doing it. We both have past that affect how we respond to certain things. It's true. I asked my husband, if he could handle that to teach my kids, he lied and said, yes. Yeah, you can't lie.

01:17:15

Joshua T Berglan

Trish. I'm glad you brought this up. You can't don't lie about anything. Just be honest, God, especially, especially when you're dating, because dating is like, even though it's totally different than marriage, which is still a trip, like why does it change? But the fact is like, if you have like, it's like the practice run.

01:17:45

Joshua T Berglan

The dating. Even the marriage is different. Like if you start the habits of lying now and withholding information and not being honest, if you start those habits, now you're screwed. You're screwed because you're going to do it. When you get married to force the habit now to have open honest communication, and you know what feelings are going to get hurt men. You're not going to say everything, right? Because sometimes you're a moody Butthead like me, women.

01:18:17

Joshua T Berglan

Sometimes you're a little moody because you got a hormonal change. It's a fact of life. And you know what, something, I don't know. I can't explain it. But when you guys get hormonal, it does some wacky stuff for your brain. I don't understand it, but you know what? I got PMs too. So, you know, whatever. And it does some wacky stuff to my brain. And I'm not saying this to be insulting or be disrespectful. But the fact is we all go through cycles. We get, we get with the cycles of life, cycles of emotion. We all experienced life differently.

01:18:50

Joshua T Berglan

What was the point of that? I forgot. Okay. I'm tired now. I'm done. I love you guys. Thank you for being here. We're going to do this again tomorrow because you know what? It was fun. It won't always be sunshine and rainbows and bubblegum, unicorn, whatever. Okay, guys. Thank you so much to our sponsor. I'm good. I am conchita.com. Use promo code.

01:19:20

Joshua T Berglan

Welcome. Tend to save 10% on the lash up in curl or your favorite lashes or the eyeliner glue. Also. Thank you guys for being here. Please follow subscribe, share, invite a friend. Of course you guys network and very, very grateful for you all being here. Thank you for being a part of this broadcast. I hope you enjoyed it. Did you guys enjoy this? Did this make sense? Was it insightful at all? Did I frustrate you? Did I offend you? Because it's very possible that I will. Hi. Kay. Thank you.

01:19:52

Joshua T Berglan

Look, we touched on some very sensitive stuff today. Thank you Sharon, for being here. This relationship stuff's complicated. I think how many pages are on this? Hmm. I could just keep going. I could finish. Now. I want to, I'm going to split this. We'll do it. How much time is left? Sorry. I'm not ending the show. Well, I'm going to end the show now.

01:20:23

Joshua T Berglan

I kind of wanted to keep going, but I'll wait. I'm tired and I'm getting loopy. So tomorrow we're going to dive into the women part of this. I love you. Thank you for being here all the above. Thank you so much. Really, really appreciate it. Much. Love to you, Todd. Thank you for being here. I love you and your family, man. You guys are good. Good people. Christie. Thank you for being here SQL. Okay. We'll do a SQL tomorrow. All right. Love you guys. Thank you again. God bless. Bye bye.

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