Gratitude in a time of uncertainty.

We are all a little scared. Even the optimists are beginning to wonder what is going to happen next. I am one of those optimists. I am usually a glass half full kinda girl.

This week I can't help but notice all of the air in that glass. It looks a bit more empty than usual. And while I wish it was full of wine, right now the glass is filled with water. I'm told hydration is key right now. So I'm drinking water. And I'm sleeping. And I'm eating fruit. And, *gasp*, I'm even relaxing.

I can't remember the last time I took a day to myself. I am a go, go, go kinda girl. I get antsy when I don't have something on my plate and I am always looking for something to fill my time with. But just like everyone else this week, I have been forced into a state of solitude. And while I could sit here and cry about all of the things I'm not doing - like seeing my loved ones, for example - I've decided I am going to make the most of it. One of the first things I've decided to do is organize my drawers. This has been on my list for months. But free time is hard to come by for me, so the drawers have sat there in disarray.

I have realized that organization leads to a state of nostalgia. I stopped and looked at each piece of paper that I stored away and thought lovingly about the memories they evoked. I found birthday cards from birthdays past with sweet notes from my friends. I found photos (yes, actual HARD photographs) of my childhood. I pondered those awkward days of braces-wearing Sarah whose eyes were still filled with wonder and excitement for what was to come. I bet she couldn't fathom the idea of a virus forcing an entire world into a state of isolation... I found postcards from a road trip to Texas that I took with my boyfriend in December. It was a great trip that I'll always hold dear to my heart. We had taken a break prior to taking the trip and decided that we would give our relationship another try by quarantining (ha) ourselves in a car together for 22 hours while we drove south to Texas. It did wonders for our relationship and gave us memories to last a lifetime. I'll never again eat barbequed chicken without thinking about him and the smell of Waco.

After crying happy tears over handwritten birthday cards and postcards from Nebraska and Oklahoma, I came across a phone bill that I had scribbled quotes on. On it I wrote "don't spend more than five minutes worrying about something that won't matter in five years" and "gratitude is the antidote to every negative emotion in your life." I'm not sure what inspired me to write these things on a phone bill. What was I feeling that day? Who cares. Maybe it was meant for today. Maybe there was a part of me that knew I would need to read these things in the distant future.

Gratitude truly is the antidote to every negative emotion in our lives. We are all surely feeling a wealth of negative emotions right now. We are worrying about our health, the economy, and the state of the world in general. And we are doing it in solitude which makes it even scarier. But there is a silver lining to every dilemma in life. And I believe that the silver lining to this one is that this situation is forcing us to be thankful for the things we do have. Maybe we needed this push to remind us what is truly important in life.

I am thankful for my health and the fact that I live in a country that offers good healthcare. And while the days to come may be uneasy with an increasing strain on our healthcare system, we must remember that it could be worse. We could be living in countries that do not have nearly the same capacity that ours has.

I am thankful for moments of silence for they allow me to sit and really think about the good things in life. I hardly allow myself to have these moments anymore. When I have a free minute to myself I am either on my phone or watching Netflix. I can't remember the last time I sat outside and truly took nature in. Today I decided to leave my place for the first time in two days and go for a walk. It was cold but I didn't even care. I smiled as the brisk air hit my face. It was fresh. It was good.

I am thankful for my family and my friends. I haven't seen them in over a week and the time apart from them has made me truly realize just how much happiness they bring to my life. I'm also thankful for my boyfriend who I also haven't seen in a week. I would give anything to be back in Waco, Texas with him right now eating biscuits and barbeque.

On the topic of Texas, I am also so thankful for every opportunity I have had to travel our beautiful world. The recent travel restrictions have truly put my blessings into perspective. I think we forget how lucky we are to have the freedom to jump on a plane and hop across the world in a few hours. It's a privilege that not everyone has. And it's a privilege that we may not have for awhile now. So when we are once again allowed to freely travel the world, I hope we never again take it for granted.

Lastly, I am thankful that this day of self-isolation has inspired me to write for myself once again. It's something I used to do every day as a child. It was my escape whenever I felt low and it brought me a sense of joy that nothing else did. I never imagined it would take a virus to push me to do it again. Like I said, there's a silver lining to everything.

I encourage you all to take a step back from the constant news coverage and take a moment to be grateful. Step outside and breathe in the fresh air. Tell the people around them that you love them. And remember, "don't spend more than five minutes worrying about something that won't matter in five years."

XO