Gratitude in a Time of Crisis

What's in your BAG?

Some of you know that I’m proud to be a certified coach in Conscious Leadership. I keep a stack of The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership books in my office and give the books out at every opportunity. I manage to weave these concepts into almost any talk I give, and will shamelessly plug the power of meditation or give impromptu instruction on conscious breathing.

When I wrote this post for the internal Amazon Pay blog way back in March, the "crisis" in the headline referred to the pandemic. The sad fact is, the sh*tshow that is 2020 has served up a take-your-pick list of trauma that has tested us. Fast forward six months and I am still reflecting on many teachings in mindfulness, but none more than the power of gratitude.

Knowing I was writing about this topic for Amazonians, I went on a hunt for data, to back up my training and knowledge. :) This led me to Robert Emmons, the world's leading scientific expert on gratitude, professor of psychology at UC-Davis. He’s also the author of Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier and Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity. Emmons’ research found that “people are 25 percent happier if they keep gratitude journals”, tracking participants as they wrote down things they were grateful for, once a week, for 10 consecutive weeks. More, these people reported getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep each night AND exercising 33% more each week.

"Gratitude has one of the strongest links to mental health and satisfaction with life of any personality trait—more so than even optimism, hope, or compassion. Grateful people experience higher levels of positive emotions such as joy, enthusiasm, love, happiness, and optimism, and gratitude as a discipline protects us from the destructive impulses of envy, resentment, greed, and bitterness. People who experience gratitude can cope more effectively with everyday stress, show increased resilience in the face of trauma-induced stress, recover more quickly from illness, and enjoy more robust physical health." 

- Robert Emmons, Gratitude Works!

I also discovered this helpful resource from the Journal of Positive Psychology, which offers a robust definition(s) for gratitude. It’s useful to consider that gratitude is both a character trait and a mindset. Ryan Niemiec, virtue researcher, educator and author of The Power of Character Strengths, says Gratitude places in the Top 5 (with Zest, Hope, Curiosity and Love). Fun find: you can take the free character strength test here.

What’s so encouraging about the many books, articles and studies on gratitude is the recognition that it is a practice that can be cultivated. In Gratitude Works! Emmons offers several approaches (journaling, letter writing, gratitude visits) that have shown to be “effective in creating sustainable gratefulness.” I’m going to share one that we use in the Wenzel house.

When I am not traveling for work (oh, say, like right now), we are intentional about having “family dinner”. Both my husband, Tony, and I buy into the research on the positive impact this together time has on our communication and sense of connection. We will often play “highlights/lowlights” (ugh, that actually sounds like something we encounter in almost every Amazon doc, but I swear it pre-dates my tenure here!) or another game called, “What’s in Your BAGS?” Every one of us will go around and share what’s in our respective “bags” by sharing:

Blessing – something to honor, recognize or appreciate.

Andrew = “We’re blessed that Poppop finished his cancer chemo.”

Accomplishment – a task, job, or achievement

Audra = “I got 100 on my creative writing assignment.”

Gratitude – something for which we are thankful

Kelly = “I’m grateful for the sunny weather so we could get outside today.”

Service – a kindness or service we did for someone else

Tony = “I helped a lady at Costco get the heavy things out of her cart and into her trunk.”

Interestingly, this game started as “What’s in your BAG?” We added in the “S” for Service after my husband, Tony, read the book Resilience, which chronicles letters between the author, Eric Greitens (a former Navy Seal and Rhodes Scholar), and one of his former Seals who was suffering from PTSD. “Having compassion for others and wanting to make a difference in their lives can actually make you stronger,” said Greitens. In brief, acting in service of others gives us a sense of purpose, which in turn boosts our resilience.

Christine Carter, sociologist and Senior Fellow at UC-Berkeley, writes “Giving help to others protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease. People 55 and older who volunteer for two or more organizations have a 44 percent lower likelihood of dying—and that’s after scrutinizing for every other contributing factor, including physical health, exercise, gender, habits like smoking, marital status, and many more.”

And, to hammer the point home, Dr. Martin Seligman, father of positive psychology movement, and author of multiple books, says in Flourish: “We scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested…”

These are times of unprecedented uncertainty: much is out of our control. Yet, if we are willing to pause and reflect, we can find there is always something to be grateful for.

Tal Ben-Shahar, who taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history (Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership), says: “The word appreciate has two meanings. The first meaning is ‘to be thankful,’ the opposite of taking something for granted. The second meaning is ‘to increase in value’ (as money appreciates in the bank). Combined, these two meanings point to a truth that has been proved repeatedly in research on gratitude: when we appreciate the good in our lives, the good grows and we have more of it. The opposite, sadly, is also true: when we fail to appreciate the good—when we take the good in our lives for granted—the good depreciates.”

I hope this inspires you to pause and share “What’s In Your BAGS?”

PS: props and appreciation to Brian Johnson's Optimize.me site: it offers an absolute goldmine of resources (book reviews, videos, podcasts, worksheets) for those looking for tools and inspiration on how to live their best life.

PPS: Image courtesy of Rebag, where you can buy, sell, and exchange the most coveted designer handbags and accessories. Amazon Pay merchant since 2015. :)