Gratitude to Motherhood

This post is beyond thanking my grandmother, mother and daughter. I was reflecting this Mother's Day on my own journey to motherhood and how grateful I am to people around me in addition to the protagonists when I hear 'mother'!

My mother was unconventional in many ways. She would let my sister and me have all the fun we want. The only condition was that a 100 or a A+ in academics was non-negotiable. This felt non-appreciating sometimes as a kid, but this value has probably gotten ingrained in our blood now. Just that study has probably transitioned to work. This allows me to do the best that I can at work and the quality becomes non-negotiable. My gratitude for her is beyond this quality. For someone who was as passionate about her work as we were, she had to let go of that since there was not enough support system, like the one we have today. All that I do is probably also for her to live her life through mine, in some sense. So any appreciation at work, big or small, I ensure to pass it on to her!

My grandmother has also played a huge role in my life. She raised me for the first three years of my life when my mother would go to work and meet me during weekends. I have also been fortunate enough to stay close enough to her, location-wise and also emotionally. She is probably one of the smartest and strongest human beings I know of, even though she probably quit school after sixth grade. Her management qualities are probably something that's been taught in MBA institutes today. Adapting to changing times especially at the age of 90+, be it using the smartphone to video call, watch TV serials or using the mic on Google Assistant to speak in Tamil makes me very proud of her.

My daughter - She has the unique capability to make me mad one second and make my heart melt the very next second. She has completed my world in many ways. She has enabled me to appreciate my mother multifold more and have so much more respect for all the moms around. Experiencing the journey from a not-so-rosy pregnancy to holding her in my arms to running behind her today, life has certainly gotten more interesting. But what's most gratifying is how I have changed as a professional post my maternity. Having done maximum multi-tasking, context switching and time optimisations in the first six months of having her and during maternity that I was mostly at home, I was raring to put these skills to use at work and I had great support from my stakeholders and my teams to bring myself to work and wanting to do more, with less time! Life's gotten better and my stress-free times today have become reading stories to her or building structures with legos for her.

If my mother taught me to be an ambitious career woman, my mother-in-law has taught me to be a good homemaker. Over the years, I have been amazed by many things she has done for the family, putting everyone before her. A quality I probably wouldn't emulate but certainly appreciate everyone who can do this. Home organization and house keeping is something my husband and me have been commended for often by friends and family but that's also coming from her passing it to him and him passing it to me.

There have been friends and peers at work who have taught me great lessons on being a mother and a few whom I have learnt from just by watching them parent. These strong allies are a blessing when I feel I can't do it well enough. Learning to let go, choosing your battles, prioritising nutrition and health over easy-to-cook meals, enjoying life and work while seeing the little one grow are some of the tips that have stayed with me.

There have also been a few in my life who have given my husband and me the opportunities to be pseudo-parents even before our little one was born. Be it my sister, friend's son or my junior from college, we have learnt a lot of our parenting do's and don'ts from these times.

I have also picked my mother-ing style from a lot of role models around me. Just watching them, sometimes talking to them, reading their posts or hearing stories gave me diverse perspectives and allowed me to pick a style that works for me. I can't define my style in words but I try my best to really integrate life and work to the maximum and enjoy the moment that I am in, very mindfully.

Years back when I read "Lean In", I was fascinated by the term 'equal partner'. My gratitude to my partner-in-crime who hand-held me during this journey of motherhood and has been more than a supportive partner when it comes to our little bundle of joy! I would never believe you can do well at home and work two years back. Today, I feel, with the right support at home and work and having seen so many role models do it, I believe I can too :)

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms around and more and more power to you :)