Gratitude Lessons: The Power of Friendship, Service, and Asking for Help

The other day I got a call from a dear friend asking me to have lunch. My answer was, “Of course, where do you want to meet?” What happened next was a lesson in friendship, gratitude, and service.

My friend is quadriplegic and in a wheelchair. Let’s call him Neil, because, well, that’s his name. Neil has a great attitude and view of life and is always a pleasure to be around. He takes care of all the bookings at StretchLab where I go a few times a month to stay flexible and maintain the physique of a twenty-year-old Acapulco cliff diver (okay, that second part might not be true).

My friend Neil loves music and is a great conversationalist, and over the last year or so we have become friends. He is very independent, and we'd gone to a hockey game together not too long ago, so going to lunch, I thought, was no big deal. He told me that I should come to his apartment. Turns out he had developed sores from his wheelchair and was going to be in bed for a few weeks. He also said, “And you are going to bring the lunch.” I couldn’t help but laugh. It was vintage Neil!

Neil then added, “I will put you to work while you are here.”

I wasn’t sure what that would mean, but I was game. I was honored that Neil would think to call me if he needed a simple act of service. He explained that while being laid up in bed it was important for him to have company, more than just phone calls or video chats. He found he needed people in the room with him, and I admired his self-awareness. Neil said, “My life is a contact sport!”

My first lesson: Be intentional about your relationships and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most people will say yes and be happy to help you.

The next day I went to Neil’s apartment with his favorite lunch, and we had a great visit. I was able to adjust his bed, get him water, help him with lunch, and we had a wonderful visit. It buoyed my spirits to be with Neil, and he said he was appreciative of my time too.

My second lesson: Giving of your time matters more than anything else. Don’t miss the chance to be a friend.

As it came time to leave, Neil asked for a favor. Could I do some simple maintenance on his medical set up. I was happy to learn and help him out. Ninety minutes really blew by and I got to know my friend a lot better and was delighted that he thought enough of me to call and ask.

My third lesson. When you give, you always get more back.

My friend Neil lives a life where he constantly has to ask for help. Yet he does it in such a cheerful way that I have never seen anyone turn him down. Neil can’t really get around without help, so there is no ego and also no embarrassment.

My last lesson: We don’t need to be embarrassed or afraid to ask for a helping hand. There are good people everywhere who want to serve but don’t know what to do. Be specific and let them rise to the occasion.

As we parted, I asked Neil why he thought to call me. He said, “I have always thought of you as someone who wasn’t afraid to serve.” That’s one of the best compliments I have ever received. I am so grateful that he asked for my help. It made my life better.

I was so grateful to Neil and learn a lot from him in one simple visit. And yes, I will happily visit again. Next time I’m bringing my wife Heidi, who is way better at serving than me. Come to think of it, I have two great teachers in my life.

What is your story of service? What did it teach you?

Love + gratitude,

The Gratitude Files???

Anxiety at Work podcast. Each week, my co-author and dear friend,?Adrian Gostick, and I are grateful for the opportunity to talk to leading authorities on mental health and explore the causes of workplace stress and anxiety, along with practices that are proven to reduce tension & cultivate calm.

Key Highlights: ??

• ?? The era of the "superhero" leader is over. Today, authenticity, vulnerability, and empathy are the cornerstones of effective leadership.
• ?? We all encounter "mind traps" - limiting beliefs and assumptions shaped by societal pressures and our own experiences.?
• ?? Embracing the "path of roses" means having the courage to listen to our inner wisdom, rewrite our stories, and lead authentically.
• ?? Empathy isn’t just a buzzword - it’s a vital skill for understanding and connecting with our teams and customers.?

We had the great privilege to dive deep into a conversation with the incredible leadership coach, Hortense Le Gentil, on the latest episode of our podcast. We explored the journey to authentic leadership and the mental obstacles that often stand in our way. Hortense le Gentil 's latest book, The Unlocked Leader is available to pre-order.? Grab your copy today!

Our Latest Work ??

I'm thrilled to introduce a project that reflects our passion and commitment to building a great culture at work:

The Gratitude Habit, a 90-day guided journal curated by Adrian & Chester

This isn't merely a journal- it's a movement intended to fill our lives with heartfelt gratitude.

? Exclusive Pre-Sale Offer ?

When you pre-order 200+ copies of "The Gratitude Habit," you give your team a path to gratitude and an exclusive 30-minute conversation with Chester, who will share his insights on the heart of gratitude and its power to transform.

What makes "The Gratitude Habit" a Game-Changer?

?? A guided 90-day journey to discover gratitude

?? Boost team camaraderie, strengthen loyalty, and accelerate growth

?? More than a journal- its a catalyst for positive change

? P.S. - The regular price is $22.95, but when you pre-order 200+ copies, you get a special rate of $15.00 per copy. Email [email protected] to take advantage of this exclusive offer and book your session with Chester Elton

Visit?The Culture Works?for free resources including videos, podcast episodes, and more to help you build an "all in"?culture?of?gratitude.

Leading with Gratitude?& Anxiety at Work? are sold at fine bookstores everywhere.