Gratitude, Insights from Maternity Leave

As my maternity leave chapter comes to a close, I wanted to share a few thoughts of gratitude, insights, and a call for change.?This is my personal reflection of this chapter of life.

I debated posting this in general because I am officially calling out that I am a mom/birthing parent. The disparities and treatment of moms in the workplace?is still very much a work in progress.?By my post, I hope to help remove stigma around the topic and encourage others to take this necessary time to?bond and?raise children to contribute to the future and be a positive impact to those around them. No pressure parents!?

Before going any further, I would like to share my gratitude. I am grateful to?the?colleagues that kept things humming while I was on leave doing this important work and helped me prepare for my time away: David Hasenkopf Shelby Reed Juliane Carlson Tatiana Bougiamas Carlos Oquendo Jr. Brandon Johnson Jay Lendl Gene Lee Peter Goth Thymio Barbatsis Scott Cranfill Ben Narey Jose Manuel Gomez Rhonda Stites Scott Cawley ? Kate Brown Jim Brown Mike MacDonald Vince Pistilli Ken Durigan Eric Mueller Jesse Sheldon Phil Feinberg Josh Shapiro Liz V. Dave Milton Donald Kossmann William Blay Dana Geisert Nordby Sarah Champ Karin Smith Alesha Baerenwald Jacob Englund Tyler Pichach Tom Feher Dwayne Dixon Matthew Mead Wasif Iqbal David Wodnicki Haley Roberto Marium Ibrahim Elizabeth Goumas Charles Lloyd Rosalie Girard Rosa Chang Claro Jim Wray Om Kumar Chauhan Ahrmon Mahanpour Arunansu Pattanayak Scott Jenkins Ashish Talati Jason Kappel Johanson Sandrasagra Sandra (Sondra) Feinberg Josue Martinez-Montero Robin Brenner Geoff Pearson William Mackay (there may be folks I missed, just so many people that were so helpful throughout this chapter of life!)

I am grateful that my employer recognizes the importance of maternity leave. Rather than call it generous, I view it as necessary?and here in the US we need to find a way to make parental leave more accessible. The physical and mental stamina of the 9 months culminated in a very intense arrival of our child. It is no small feat. This tiny human requires a lot of parental care to survive in this world. I can remember thinking at 6 weeks, I can’t believe women who are “lucky enough” to get 6 weeks are already going back to work. In some states, even puppies aren’t separated from their mother until 8 weeks.?This necessary time helped my partner and I navigate this new chapter as a family of three, with little sleep might I add.

While it didn’t catch me by surprise,?it?is interesting to be in the midst of this new personal shift?from working-professional to working-birthparent. Many things change while a birthing parent is pregnant, but the moment that child arrives, you are faced with even more choices of what you want the future to look like, goals you set for yourself, and the priorities that align to that personal philosophy and charter.?This next?chapter can be daunting without the right support group around you.?I was deliberate in the people I surrounded myself by during this time including professionals, family and friends to assist in navigating my new normal.?Life requires the growth mindset.?Flexibility isn’t optional, especially for life changes like these. I encourage birthing partners to seek out the right support system that works for them to navigate this time?and if you know someone going through this transition, I can tell you a little grace and empathy can go a long way! It truly takes a village!

This experience has had a way?of?giving insight in many ways I wish I would have known prior… and reiterate the many challenges that parents face currently and how I could show up for colleagues, friends and family who are navigating the transition with a new family member. These are some of my insights:

1. If you know/work with a birthing parent who is headed into their last month of pregnancy, remember they are running the equivalent of a marathon daily that is not visible to you, but are very real for them. They’ve likely disclosed this information months ago. The last month of their pregnancy is not the time to ask for 300% output from them. Plan accordingly!

2. Parental leave is not a luxury. Newborn children need a lot of care and attention, not to mention how important it is for them to have a bond with their parents. Proper care for children aged 0-5 years old continually prove in research study after research study to be the vital foundation for outcomes later in life.??As my partner puts it, "This time is not a cost, but an investment that will make tomorrow a better place for everyone - isn't that what we all want?"

3. Childcare. IYKYK.?Outside of the fact that our economic growth is generally beneficial when both parents participate in the labor force. In doing some research, majority of child care facilities run at less than 10% profit margin after expenses. With recent events like covid, there isn’t much room for?backstop for when life throws a curve ball like closures. We know that many struggle to retain staff that are underpaid and struggle to meet important ratios to ensure the safe care of our children.?All of this, and yet many of these options are a large portion of a parent's salary and (not to mention?multiple?kids in the picture for some), there are big choices to be made. This doesn't even consider single parents, military families, low to middle income families, etc that are even more impacted by the accessibility of this care.?For us,?our day care required us to secure our child's spot 4 months before their birth, and TEN months before they would start, and currently have a 17-20 month waitlist for new families.

For those who have made it this far, thank you. Whether it's to validate experiences, learn about other's experiences, or something else, I hope it was a good use of time to read.?

In closing, "Until next time, take care of yourself, and if you can, someone else too." Steven Dubner, Freakonomics Podcast