Gratitude changes you from the inside out

Just over three years ago we lost everything in a house fire.

Everything? Well no – not absolutely everything – but not far off.

 Using mBraining skills, I managed to transcend that experience virtually entirely stress free. It is almost beyond belief – but it’s true. One of my tools I used was what I named my ‘Phoenix Gratitude Diary’. A regular communication on facebook to my family and friends mainly to say how we were doing – what stage we were at and finding something to be grateful for (until everything was signed off and my Phoenix flew...)

 Let me go back in time a bit a bit. Inspired by Niki, a wonderful lady with terminal breast cancer who wrote a facebook page called Season of Grace (check out this link – it is an amazingly inspirational read) I saw how amazing it was - the way she handled adversity. So my Phoenix Gratitude Diary was born.

Am I some super heroic angelic wonderfully positive person – no! Some days I had to work hard to find something to be grateful for. Sometimes it was, if I am honest, a bit tongue in cheek (for example “thankful today that we heard back from the builder” – of course the presupposition in that is we had not heard from him for a while!).

But what I can say – absolutely hand on heart – is that it was a large part in our journey and the transcending of the whole situation.

So – Why is Gratitude so powerful?

 In an article in Psychology Today it is claimed that “Gratitude, particularly if practiced regularly, can keep you healthier and happier”  The article cites research which showed that a regular gratitude practical impacts on:

• increases in determination, attention, enthusiasm and energy 
• greater improvements in optimism
• greater improvements in exercise patterns.
• a reduction in physical ailments
• better sleep,
• lower anxiety and depression (though anxiety was felt to reduce due to better sleep – not due to the gratitude practice in its’ own right)

So what is happening?

We know from the literature that gratitude changes your brain. I am not talking about a metaphorical rainbow being painted on the situation – I am talking about the wiring and re-wiring of your brain, along with a structural shift in the neurons themselves. Gratitude literally changes your brain.

Gratitude has been shown to be beneficial for your brain (head brain) and in mbraining, we know that this means your whole body – including your heart and gut brains are also affected.

Wharton Health care talk of the cocktail of gratitude neurochemicals that are released when you pause to reflect on what you are grateful for:

"A Shot of Dopamine– whether expressing gratitude for what’s good in life or showing gratitude to someone who has helped us at work, neural circuitry in our brain (stem) releases dopamine. Dopamine makes us feel good! And, because it feels good, we want more. It triggers positive emotions, we feel optimistic, and it fosters camaraderie. It also drives prosocial behaviors. …and … dopamine has been linked to intrinsic motivation in goal accomplishment, whether academic, personal, or professional".

"A Swig of Serotonin – when we reflect on or write down the positives in life and at work, our brain (anterior cingulate cortex) releases serotonin. Serotonin enhances our mood, (think anti-depressant), our willpower, and motivation".

Other papers have also suggested that Oxytocin is also released.

 It's not hard to see then, with such a cocktail flooding your system, Gratitude makes you feel good.

While I started this blog off about me and my response to a house fire – it is not hard to see how this could be applied in work, in relationships, in community. Can you imagine how different each and every one of those situations would be if you did it from a place of deep gratitude?

 What then are the benefits of Gratitude?

Munsey on the NaturalStacks podcast talks of 5 wider benefits of gratitude:

1. Gratitude Improves Mental Health
2. Gratitude Improves Physical Health
3. Gratitude Improves Resiliency
4. Gratitude Activates the Brain Stem Region that Releases Dopamine and Serotonin
5. Gratitude Improves Sleep

And it is worth noting that every bullet point here is sign posted to original research in the article– so do check it out.

 And if that is not enough - they say that “the more we activate these “gratitude” circuits, the stronger these neural pathways become and the more likely we are to recognize what’s going right instead of always looking at the problem”

 So what is Gratitude?

Gratitude is more an attitude than a feeling. It is a deep appreciation related to something that is meaningful to you (something of value to you – so it will resonate at the heart level).

Zig Ziglar says that “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for”

 When I invite clients to keep a Gratitude Diary, I explain that it can be gratitude for anything. It doesn’t have to be a massive issue. It can be for a patch of blue sky in cloudy sky, the colour of a flower, the smile of a stranger in the street, having a house to come home to, hot water to wash your hands with, food to eat.

 The impact of gratitude is vast across all aspects of your health: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social.

You will start to be aware that you are focusing more on positive things, reversing the natural negative bias that exists in human brains and you will feel better - maybe not over night, but within a few days.

Simple Steps to doing more Gratitude.

1.    Keep a gratitude journal.

Buy a diary, or blank note book and every day, at the end of the day, write at least 3 things you are grateful for. I found very quickly, I was filling the space in each day in the diary with a lot more than 3 things. Write down things that make you smile, bring you joy, warm your heart.

During the day – at least once, STOP and look around you. Focus on something you are grateful for and describe it and its positive impact in your life.

Consider creating a Gratitude Jar or Board. Write a note of things you are grateful for and when you are feeling less up beat you can go back and read those notes, to remind yourself of the good things in life.

2.    Let others know you value and appreciate them.

·       Whether it is at work or at home, take notice of something someone else has done and express sincere thanks to them and explain to them what them doing that meant to you.

·       Write a hand written note. In August 2018 a paper was published in Psychology Today advocating the benefits to you and the recipient of writing a genuine hand written note of thanks.

3.    Take time out to Appreciate yourself.

·       At the end of the day bring to mind something that you have achieved that day and say a genuine well done to yourself

·       Consciously be aware of how you receive gratitude and thanks. Slow down, breath deeply and say thank you, allowing that appreciation to deeply integrate into your being and be accepted unconditionally. (There should be no room to say “yes but”, or “it was nothing” … - just say thank you)

4.    Slow down and enjoy the present moment.

·       Use a mindful practice to bring yourself into the present moment – where there is only right now. This is the place to bring to mind what you are grateful for.

·       I love my glitter jar. A jar filled with water, glitter and glycerine, which you can shake to represent your thoughts. Then as you breathe slowly and deeply and evenly, watch the glitter settle. It’s a great way to quieten your head chatter and bring you to the present moment. 

5.    Find someone to be grateful with

A great way to make yourself accountable is to begin your gratitude practice with someone you care about. If both of you commit to doing a gratitude diary every night, in the morning you can do a quick exchange by text, or in person, to share what you were grateful for the night before. Do this for 30 days and you will have established a habit that will be good for both of you, bringing you closer in unexpected ways.

We know that practicing gratitude is a self fulfilling process – the more you feel it and do it, the more you will feel it and notice it.

 Just like I would not expect to get fit and stay fit by going to the gym once (in fact that first time it can be pretty awkward during the visit and maybe painful afterwards!), I would not expect to establish a good gratitude practice after one day. It takes commitment, discipline and perseverance. It will get easier, the chemical cocktail will make it feel better and better over time. And if you have a day when other things in life take over, be kind to yourself. Smile, give thanks for the learning opportunity and start again the next day.

Gratitude does not have to be difficult or take up lots of time. Build in ways of doing gratitude during your normal day:

• When you wake up – as you open your eyes and see the light of the coming day – say thank you that you are alive.
• As you shower, and as the water runs over your body, give thanks for your amazing body, that is constantly changing and adapting.
• As you walk – every time you bring your foot into contact with the ground – say thank you inside. Thank you for the world we live in, thank you for being on stable ground. Thank you for the things you see as you walk.
• As you work, bring to mind something about each person you meet that you are grateful for.
• As you eat – say grace and be grateful for the food, the nourishment, the sustenance of the food. Be grateful for all the people who have made that meal possible, from growers, transporters, producers, grocers, cooks … get creative and try to think of the whole line of people that have been involved to bring you that food to your plate on that day.
• At the days end – write in your gratitude diary and smile, settling for the evening with that beautiful cocktail of dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin flooding through your body, healing, calming, restoring you as you sleep.

Gratitude is a choice. It takes deliberate, conscious effort – but it is well worth it.

 Will you begin a gratitude practice today? That is a choice only you can make.

Dr Suzanne Henwood is the Director and Lead Coach and Trainer of mbraining4success (mbraining4success.com) and the CEO of The-Healthy-Workplace (the-healthy-workplace.com). She is one of two Master Coaches and Master Trainers of mBIT Globally and is passionate about helping people to deeply reconnect with themselves, healing old wounds, letting go of unwanted stress and releasing them to do more and be more in the world. She works with organisations to look at organisational connections, working to ensure psychologically safe workplaces, to reduce unhelpful stress and bullying and ensure future focused, modern leadership that is sustainable into the new world as it emerges. If you would like to know more head over to mbraining4success.com (where you can also download a free eBook on mBraining); the-healthy-workplace.com, or get in touch directly with her at [email protected].