Gratitude in Caregiving: A Practical Guide to Finding Joy in the Journey

My Journey:

I was furious when I first heard of being grateful for what I have.

I thought all I had was the following:

a terminally ill mother & constant fear of losing her,

the grief & loss of my father,

permanent home quarantine,

a stagnant & crashed career,

a major financial crisis,

zero social life,

and

loads of chores.

I couldn't find what I would be grateful for in this situation.

Instead, I was sad, angry and frustrated all the time.

I was unaware that these were the symptoms I was experiencing because I did not understand my deeper emotions and their implications.

Yet something inside me said, "Do you have any better idea? You are a scientist. At least experiment before rejecting an idea!"

I came across a few books and articles and started a new journey of taking back control of my life.

Entry of Attitude of Gratitude:

In the darkest moments of my life, I started being grateful for little things

like the ability to feel emotions, breathing, being alive, having food on my plate, etc.

It has helped me a lot to go through one day at a time in my grief-to-glory journey.

Whenever I faced any challenge or felt unpleasant, I would say, "How wonderful."

and start looking for solutions for it rather than crying about it.

I realised that life gives us challenges, and we can choose to be victims or victorious.

Gratitude played an important role by giving me hope to live through the day without crashing internally.

Then, the neuroscientist in me started looking for a scientific explanation for my behavioural changes.

I came across a book, "Molecules of Emotion," by Candace B. Pert.

She explains how our emotions are influenced by the chemical messengers in our bodies and how practising Gratitude can positively affect our emotional state.

Before getting to the G.L.O.W. framework, let me share some essentials about gratitude.

The Definition of Gratitude:

This is how I define Gratitude in my mind:

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful or appreciative of the good things in one's life. It involves acknowledging and appreciating the positive experiences, people, and things we encounter daily.

According to Pert, adding an attitude of gratitude to daily life triggers the release of positive neurochemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

"Objectively" focusing on the good rather than dwelling on the negative can cultivate a positive attitude and lead to greater happiness and fulfilment.

Caution: Avoiding unpleasant emotions doesn't mean ignoring or escaping them. It is one of the neural recalibrating techniques that can be used to rewire our brains for pleasant emotions.

The Benefits of Gratitude in Moving from Grief to Glory:

Gratitude has been linked to several benefits for caregivers, including:

1. Turn off the constant "red alert" mode: By making our minds realise the positive side of the situation, we can bring our nervous system back to a regulated state. Otherwise, our mind and body are always in red alert mode- ready for flight, fight, freeze, or fawn.
2. Reduced Stress: Focusing on the positive aspects of our lives can reduce stress levels and promote feelings of calm and relaxation.
3. Improved Mental Health: Gratitude can enhance mental health and well-being by increasing positive emotions, reducing negative emotions, and promoting satisfaction and contentment.
4. Better Physical Health: Practicing Gratitude has been linked to better physical health, including improved sleep, increased energy levels, and a more robust immune system.
5. Increased Resilience: Gratitude can help caregivers build resilience and bounce back from difficult situations.

Don't ask it to be easy, work on navigating through the storm with ease! ~ Dr Swvati Nambiar

How Gratitude Helps Caregivers:

Caregivers face several challenges in their daily lives, including physical and emotional demands, financial strain, and social isolation. The practice of Gratitude can help caregivers cope with these challenges in several ways, including:

1. Shifting Focus: Focusing on the positive aspects of our lives can shift our attention away from the challenges and stressors we face. This can help reduce feelings of overwhelm and promote a more positive outlook.
2. Appreciation Attitude: Practicing Gratitude can help caregivers appreciate the small moments of joy and beauty in their lives, even amidst challenging circumstances.
3. Inner Connection: Gratitude can promote inner connection and self-love, which is essential for caregivers who are likely to feel isolated or alone in their struggles. It's a constant work to keep your mind-body balance so that you can play the role of caregiver at best yet live your life harmoniously.
4. Happy Hope: Gratitude can help caregivers maintain a sense of hope and optimism, even in difficult circumstances.

"The best thing in the world is to build a bridge of hope over the sea of despair." ~ Madhu Vyas Breathing Warrior

5. Emotional Lubrication: Caregiving requires connection, social support and synchronisation. It is not a one-person job. Even if you are the sole primary caregiver, there will be at least a few people like vegetable vendors, grocery shop owners, medical store people, etc. Money cannot buy genuine care. However, gratitude and appreciation can act as lubricants for this caregiving machinery.

G.L.O.W. Framework: Practical Tips for Practicing Gratitude

To practice Gratitude, caregivers can:

1. Gratitude Journal: Write down at least one thing you are grateful for daily.
2. Lift others: Show kindness and Gratitude toward others by saying "thank you" more often, giving compliments, or performing acts of kindness. I started keeping a gratitude jar near the main door of the house. For any vendor who came to deliver anything to my doorstep, I offered them candy with a bright smile as a token of appreciation. They are making my life easy and hence deserve a smile and heartfelt thank you.

3. Optimism: Appreciate small things, such as the beauty of nature, a kind gesture, or a moment of peace. {Caution: Beware of mixing optimism with denial}

4. Work on Emotions: Engage in inner and outer work to manage emotional and behavioural responses, seeking professional help. Therapy has transformed my life and the other efforts I put into my emotional well-being.

Important Message: If you find it challenging to practice Gratitude, it may be a sign of deeper issues. Not feeling Gratitude can be a response to deep-rooted trauma. In such cases, seeking professional help is crucial. A mental health professional can assist in addressing the underlying trauma and help you develop a healthier emotional outlook.

Conclusion:

Practising Gratitude can be a powerful tool for caregivers, helping them cope with the challenges of caregiving, improving their emotional state, and building stronger connections with their loved ones. By focusing on the positive aspects of their lives, caregivers can find joy and meaning amidst difficult circumstances and move from grief to glory. Through Gratitude, caregivers can promote feelings of calm, reduce stress, and build resilience. If practising Gratitude seems impossible, seeking professional help can be an essential step toward healing and finding balance.

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