Gratefulness and Resilience

I am very lucky and grateful. ?I was able to travel to the beautiful state of Maine this weekend for my daughter’s last college family weekend.? Maine has always had a special place in my heart.? I went to college there, got married there, and vacation there.?

The motto “The Way Life Should Be” is true in so many ways.? The amazing ocean and mountain views, the rugged, down-to-earth, friendly locals, the delicious foods from lobster and ‘chowda’ to locally brewed beer, and of course the accents that welcome you each time you visit!

As we know, last week Maine was rocked by a horrible mass shooting in Lewiston.? I had just gotten off the soccer field late Wednesday night and as I got into my car I started to read the texts and emails pouring in from family and friends.? Heartbreaking, sad, scary, mad,... you can keep naming the emotions we all felt.

Being on the ground in Maine Thursday and Friday

My partner and I left Washington, DC Thursday morning and landed at the small but bustling Portland airport on a beautiful and unseasonably warm day .? After getting our rental car, we headed to one of our favorite breweries.? It was closed.? We found another one closer to the waterfront and enjoyed lunch and quiet conversation with locals and tourists.? After as we drove around Portland before heading toward Bowdoin College, we were shocked at how many places were closed.? As we got to Brunswick, we wanted to stop and get a few supplies before checking into our rental - grocery stores, restaurants, gas stations, and even Walmart were all closed.? Thank goodness for Cumbies - it was open and we joined the long line of customers also making purchases.??

That night I was supposed to host a “Sidwell Friends at Bowdoin College” student dinner - the restaurant we were supposed to go to was closed but I was able to find an Asian restaurant that was open for take-out.? We would meet in the Student Union instead of walking into town given the 'lock out' status on campus. Waiting with other customers outside for the take-out order was a bit reminiscent of the pandemic. There were a few police officers and military folks getting dinner after working a very long day and giving updates to folks.? The mood was upbeat yet somber with was a sense of hope in the air - we would catch him, things would be ok, more things would be open tomorrow, folks will feel safe again…

There were so many emotions and being in Maine just made them even more evident and more ‘mixed’...

Mixture of Views

The incredible colors of the New England Fall foliage contrasted by the closed signs on so many businesses.? The sunset on the water our first night matched by locked doors and pulled shades.? The full moon shining above the quad compared to the Maine and American flags at half-staff.

Mixture of Feelings

Alongside the views, the rollercoaster of feelings - I was happy to be visiting my daughter but acknowledging the victims’ families were experiencing profound loss. The beauty of the weather and feeling so warm along with the cold fear that people were expressing while the shooter was still at large.? There was the pride of being there for my daughter’s senior family weekend and her academic award along with another sigh and feeling of yet another “class of 2020” disappointment. Sitting with my daughter’s roommates and friends Thursday night in their apartment watching the USWNT soccer team on the big screen munching on Halloween candy paired while the students also watched CNN and other news feed updates on laptops and texting friends in nearby towns and at Bates College in lockdown while munching on their nails.? The wave of relief when we heard he was caught along with the wave of knowing Maine and the Lewiston community was changed forever.??

Resilience- “Resilience means the ability to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties, toughness.”

Over and over I kept getting that feeling - Maine is strong, the people are strong, the students at Bowdoin College are strong, we will withstand and recover.

We met several families that had to change their plans with all of the closings and cancellations but many of us were there to help support each other and our polar bears - when able, being resilient and pushing through despite the cancellations.

Businesses closed to support their employees, families, and the community but a number were able to open and we supported them.? Thank you Lighthouse for delicious coffee, muffins, and breakfast sammies!? Thank you Bohemian Coffee for your humor and resilience - the stories of how few times you have closed over your 20+ years shows true Maine grit!? To Asian Garden for providing delicious take out service that was enjoyed by many Polar Bears Thursday night!

There were amazing illustrations of people coming together - the Maine Colleges coordinating athletic games and student support responses, the police and community aiding in the search, parents offering to help students who might be alone over the weekend, the college dining and other essential staff who showed up and covered for those that could not.? Showing resilience and amazing care for fellow students and community members - withstanding and recovering from the incredibly difficult situation.

A Few Reflections and “Lessons to Take Away”

As a summer and auxiliary director, I think I react to these types of situations differently.? There is a “jump into action” mode that is always at the surface - how can I help, what can I do, what needs to be communicated, etc.? I certainly felt that way often over the weekend.

I returned home last night writing this during my flight - I am sharing as I think this is another opportunity for us to reflect…?

• As educators and youth developers - what can we continue to do to help make our participants and staff feel safe and appreciated in our programs???
• As educators and parents - how can we teach our children to be resilient - to feel they have the tools to navigate all types of? situations - good and bad???
• As humans - what can we do to create more kindness in our communities?
• As people - how can we remember to hug and smile each and every day and to let go of anger and bad feelings - you just never know when the last time will be - and let’s face it we all can use more hugs and smiles!
• As adults - how can we help support the local breweries - never mind, this one I think I have mastered!...? Thank You Maine Beer Company for amazing mission and values (and wonderfully, simply labeled and delicious beers)! Thank you Bissel Brothers for caring about your employees and being closed Thursday but open Sunday so we could enjoy a few rounds before flying back (Swish and Spooky - yum!)!??Thank you Flight Deck for being open Friday so we could have our Bowdoin Senior Families gathering and of course to Brickyard for being open on Thursday!

My last reflection - I like how simply Maine Beer Company states it - "Do what's right"... for me that translates into take advantage of each day, sit outside and appreciate the view or the season, start a conversation with a stranger so they don’t remain a stranger, and tell people you appreciate them.

Thank you Maine for being a part of my family.? You will always have a special place in my heart and hopefully my family can be a part of helping the resilient and strong Maine community recover and heal.