Grateful - my PG rated version of Hillbilly Elegy

When I read J.D. Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy a year or so ago, my conclusion was basically this: That was my childhood with a couple of substitutions and one town to the north. Where he experienced a broken family, lots of cursing, and lots of drinking/drugs. I experienced a very traditional family like Ozzie and Harriet Nelson or June and Ward Clever. For those of you who are “Millennials” you can search them or just think about Marge and Homer Simpson where the father character is actually smart and respectful instead of the dolt most male characters are made out to be these days….that’s for another post in another forum. Also substitute the cursing and drugs with preaching and hugs for my family. My grandfather helped start a little Baptist church where he preached. He passed when I was young but I was there in the old wooden pews for many years listening to many of those with whom he helped start the congregation. My entire family was very much an affectionate one and hugs were the language of "hello" and "goodbye" and "I missed you". I'm thankful for my substitutions.

We had a Mom, Dad, sister and brother around our dinner table almost every night.  My Dad was a unionized welder walking the four inch wide steel beams of construction sites for many of the first 20 years of his career after the Navy. After some work injuries and seeing some others killed on job sites within days of his being there he decided to take Uncle Sam up on that GI Bill and went back to school in his early 40’s to complete his associates degree. From there he started working IT jobs which is what he did for the next 20 years until he retired. My mother worked various part-time jobs to make ends meet ranging from retail to childcare to ironing costumes and taking phone reservations for a local dinner theatre at night. The jobs were not glamorous by Hollywood and out-of-touch media standards but we had clean clothes on our back for school and we had dinner on the table every night and we loved each other.

While I didn’t end up in an Ivy League school like J.D. (never thought to apply), I did go to undergraduate and graduate school. My sister and I were the first for most of our family tree to graduate college at all, let alone go beyond that stage. Like J.D. Vance our grandparents were all from Appalachia and the coal mining country of southeastern Kentucky specifically. Like many in the post-World War II generation, they migrated from the coal mines of Kentucky to the factories of Southwest Ohio and Southern Indiana. They are a smart, common sense, humble people. When my Dad was in construction, I remember the seasonality of that in the late 70’s and early 80’s when he would be “layed-off” between jobs and we would be treated to bologna sandwiches topped with government cheese which came in the nice little rectangular card board box from the union hall. Not exactly a direct government handout as my parents never had to rely on a welfare program but humbling as I look back. By the way, it is still the favorite cheese I ever ate. You can keep your fancy French stuff ;)

I began my work-life in high school with part-time jobs so I could pay for my gas and insurance for my hand-me-down car and running around on teenage trips with my friends. I even worked at the mall in Middletown, Ohio where J.D. grew up for one of those jobs. After my undergraduate education and working a couple of years I started graduate school while continuing to work. Doing grad school full time and working full-time was challenging but rewarding. I entered the world of healthcare quite by happenstance and have spent most of my career there and it has been rewarding to see the real impact on people’s lives. By my early 30’s my income exceeded what my parents would make at their highest income point. It was not a point of pride but rather a humbling experience that gave me a new perspective on my upbringing. The second home I purchased was a “mansion” that someone owned from our church. As an adult, I figured out it was not a mansion but just a nicer home than any of the ones I grew up around. As a kid I thought any house that was brick with a staircase with more rooms on the second floor and a paved driveway was a “mansion”. Ah perspective.

I finished graduate school, got married, and began the career journey that has been full of twists and turns but ever-increasing in its personal and professional rewards. I have seen many of my team members grow, develop, and thrive in support of those organizations. Thinking about the future, I am even more excited at the possibilities and the story that will play out but I can’t help each year but to be re-centered on what matters most.

Each Christmas or Thanksgiving (we rotate between the wife and my family) I get to go home to the same house in the same small town I grew up in and see my same loving parents who will celebrate 50 years of marriage this coming fall. My best friend, also a welder, still lives there just around the corner from my parents. I can’t help but return to thankfulness and gratitude for the many blessings in my life. My beautiful wife, like me, grew up in humble circumstances. We have an amazing 6 year old who challenges us daily and will make a great professional some day. I am humbled by the comfortable lifestyle we have relative to how we grew up and the many around the country and the world who don’t have as much in terms of material things but the material things really don't matter. I am thankful for the spiritual side of our upbringing and how those values have served us well professionally and personally in giving back something to others. It makes dealing with the ebbs and flows of our lives, jobs and relationships so much easier when I pause to look back on the bigger story playing out across the years.

So in this Season, I want to express my gratitude for my PG-rated version of my own hillbilly elegy. I am proud of my family, their values, our history and the work ethic I was taught by them. I am grateful for my wife and my daughter who daily help polish me into a better version of me than I was yesterday.  I am thankful for my Faith that centers me in all of life’s little storms. I am grateful for my organization and my team who amaze me each day with their dedication and results delivered to our business. May you all have some rest and relaxation this holiday season with those you love. I remain Grateful.

Cheers,

Kevin