The Grass is Greener Syndrome

Imagine you are a young consultant, three or four years into your career. You’ve worked on a range of projects by now, experienced different styles of leadership and different types of client and have a much better sense of what the job is all about. You’ve been given extra responsibility and on one project at least you’ve had to step up a level. Things are going well: you get on with your colleagues, you have a useful set of skills and your performance reviews are uniformly positive.

One morning you find a message on LinkedIn from an executive search consultant: ?

… you’ve come to her attention … she’s seen your profile … very impressive … you’re a strong candidate for a number of outstanding opportunities … are you available for a short call – no commitment, just exploratory? … looking forward to hearing from you ….

It’s flattering to receive a message like that, all the more so as you weren’t expecting it. You’ve grumbled about work as much as everyone else over Friday evening drinks, but before this overture you hadn’t really thought of making a move. Now, however, it’s suddenly on your mind, so you test the waters, talk to your partner, your friends and family, maybe even one or two trusted colleagues sworn to secrecy. They say you should go for it, be open to new opportunities, that it’s normal, natural to look around, and besides, there’s nothing to lose from taking a call.

And you say to yourself, “Hell, Yeah, that’s right, what’s to stop me?” In fact, the more you think about it, the more it occurs to you that you’ve actually been dismally undervalued for quite a while now:

• You’re doing work one level up, but you’re still paid at a lower grade, and when you ask about promotion, the response is very vague. When you press the issue, your manager shows you a development curve which indicates that it takes 2-3 years to move from one level to the next. Insultingly, far from recognising that you are well above curve, the firm seems to think you’re still a year away, or more, from even being considered for promotion. ?
• Even at your current grade, there are colleagues – peers – being paid more than you in the same salary band. What’s more, you know for a fact that those bastards at BCG or McKinsey, doing exactly the same job as you, at exactly the same level, are paid way, way more.
• Your bosses are always on your back, criticising your work, demanding endless revisions and edits (and which, in your opinion, are almost never an improvement). They don’t acknowledge all the hours you put in, the fact that sometimes you work late, that you’ve given time on weekends to the job. On the contrary, they seem to think that you’re the one who should be grateful for the privilege of working here.

You often wonder – and you’re not alone here, you know a lot of your colleagues wonder the same thing – what it is your managers do all day. They have very little grasp of detail whereas you must be on top of all the data and analysis. Without you in the engine room, the wheels would swiftly come off your projects. ?

The more you think about it, the more attractive the idea of a move becomes: quite aside from the financial and career benefits you hope to reap, if you do decide to leave, it will be a much-needed wake-up call to management and there is no-one, literally no-one on the planet who, sometime or other, wouldn’t like to stick it to their bosses.

So here you are, seduced by visions of better work, better pay, more affirmation and the appreciation and recognition you deserve – and it is exactly now that things start to get more complicated, that you experience what I call The Grass is Greener Syndrome and its associated myths.

Myth 1: You’ll have a bargaining chip with your bosses

Some people look for opportunities elsewhere to create leverage with their current employers. My advice, “Don’t do it!” Management will always call your bluff. Unless you are truly stand-out, way ahead of the curve, just outrageously gifted (in which case it is highly unlikely you’ll be having this conversation in the first place), if you tell your boss that there is more money or greater seniority waiting for you out there, she will invariably say, “If you can find a better job, then by all means take it, with our blessing.” When that happens, you’d better have that job offer in your pocket, or you’ll end up with a lot of egg on your face.

Myth 2: It’s a seller’s market out there

You think, because you were approached directly, that there must be great call for people with your profile, that demand outstrips supply. You’re not wrong – there are many consultancies out there looking to fill junior and mid-level posts with people who are relatively new in their careers, but already have hard experience under their belts. However, you are still one among many competing for the same job. You still have to be invited into the recruitment process (search agents bring many candidates to their clients, knowing that only a few will be chosen to go forward) and then perform well at the interviews.

But, let’s not forget you’re a good consultant: you made it to the interviews, you were sharp and convincing, you received an offer, you accepted, you’re excited, one door closes but another opens up.

Now comes the next part …

Myth 3: Your new employer is grateful to have you and, finally! you are properly valued

Again, yes and no. HR is happy to see you because they have recruitment targets to fill, and your new manager hired you because she thinks you’ll be up to the job, but she won’t know how good you are for a while to come. The new firm will have their own curve, and you’ll be starting at the bottom again until you show otherwise. Right now, the jury’s out, and it’s jarring to find you have to prove yourself all over, having already spent years proving yourself in your last job.

Myth 4: Everything will be different and better

Ah – no, it won’t. You’ll get to know new places for coffee and lunch, work with a new set of clients and be exposed to some different methodologies, but unless you’ve changed sectors or been promoted, the project work, and your role on the team, will be much the same. You’ll make new friends in the workplace, but you’ll still have to put up with difficult and demanding bosses, competitive colleagues, internal politics, and all the form-filling bureaucracy of office life. It’s a case of new décor, same old crap. That rueful joke - hell seems like heaven during the recruitment process, only to revert to type once you’re on the staff – will feel all too real.

Myth 5: You’ll fit right in

Eventually, yes, if all goes well, but people forget, or don’t know till they’ve moved once or twice, that you go backwards before you go forwards. It takes 6 months, at least, to understand your new environment, and longer to feel comfortable, to grasp how the processes – formal and informal – actually work, to know who’s who, to put names to faces and then remember them next time you meet. Starting a new job is exciting but also stressful and anxiety-provoking. You see (or think you see) signs of barely concealed impatience, or the smirks of colleagues and you worry that you're not bringing your A-game, that you’re not catching on as quickly as you should be.

*???????????*???????????*???????????*

I’ve experienced these myths and the underlying reality several times in my own career, and I realise this story can be read as a highly risk averse bromide: “Hey, stay right where you are, don’t rock the boat, count your blessings, you never had it so good, don’t fix what ain’t broke!” but that’s not the intention at all.

Of course you will move! We’re in the 2020s, not the job-for-life decades of the twentieth century. When I started out, it was normal for people to spend 20 or 30 years at the same firm; these days 5 years makes you a veteran. In those days, moving from job to job was seen as a sign of unreliability, lack of focus. Today, staying in the same place too long is read as lethargy or lack of drive.

You will move, and you should move, but do so for the right reasons. If you are truly undervalued, and not just in your own estimation, then you should find a better place for your talents. Similarly, if the workplace really is toxic, if you wake up feeling sick at the thought of going to work, then you’re in the wrong place.

But there are more positive reasons for taking the plunge: for a change of focus (for a consultant, for example, it's eye-opening to see the world from the client’s side of the desk); to live in new places; to challenge and stretch yourself; to acquire new skills and experiences; to work out (and avoid) what bores you and instead go in search of something that will grab you by the throat; to take a risk where you might fail and learn or succeed and change your life; to reset and reinvent yourself.

That’s why you should look around - not because you’re offered a small raise (a huge raise, sure, but that kind of magic dust is hard to find), or a more important sounding title for what is, essentially, the same role.

The grass on the other side may indeed look greener, but before you make your move, make sure it's real and not just a new coat of paint on an old backdrop. ?