A Grandparent's perspective from Grandparent's Day

Each year, as summer draws to a close, my family gathers to celebrate a pair of birthdays that fall close together on the calendar. The festivities include familiar rituals like singing “Happy Birthday” and blowing out candles. But instead of birthday cake, we enjoy peach cream pie.

This pie isn’t just any dessert. It’s a work of art, with fresh peach slices delicately arranged on a creamy custard base. The only problem is you’ll only find it at Briermere Farms’ small fruit stand on the North Fork of Long Island, about 60 miles from our house.

This year, my wife, Marylou, invited our then-8-year-old granddaughter, Perry, to join her on the pie trek. Eager to spend time with her grandma, she agreed – only to discover just how long Long Island really is. “This is a long way to go for a pie,” Perry said about a half hour into the journey.

“Just wait until you taste these pies,” Marylou replied.

Indeed, Perry’s patience was rewarded. After a drive filled with lovely and lively conversation, she finally took her first bite of the peach cream pie. With wide eyes, she turned to her grandmother and exclaimed, “It was worth the trip!”

A magical relationship

This weekend, we celebrated Grandparents Day, a time to honor the special bond many of us have with our parents’ parents. For many of us, grandparents are often remembered as our first best friend, biggest supporter, and a key role model. They’re often seen as the bridge between our past and future, passing down values, history, and wisdom.

I wanted to share Marylou and Perry’s story because it illustrates the magic of the grandparent-grandchild relationship. It’s a bond that’s built and strengthened amid small rituals like visiting special places or sharing moments. For us grandparents, rituals and traditions shape who we are and what we pass on to future generations.

I see the same thing happen at every big family dinner, when Marylou and I are joined by extra hands belonging to our seven grandchildren. At one level, these gatherings are about passing down recipes and baking techniques that have been honed over years.

But beyond the recipes, something deeper is passed along. It’s in these moments, as they wait for the dough to rise or the oven to preheat, that our grandchildren ask questions about life: how to handle a difficult situation at school, how to treat others with kindness, or how to stay true to their values.

Marylou’s advice, seasoned with wisdom and experience, becomes the secret ingredient that enriches not just the food but the hearts of those who hear it.

A celebration for everyone

I recognize that I’m extremely fortunate to live within driving distance of my grandchildren and that not everyone is lucky enough to have a relationship with a grandparent due to untimely passings, distance, and sometimes even personalities.

But even if you don’t have a relationship with a biological grandparent, you can see the magic of the relationship at work by connecting with older generations. In fact, fostering such connections was one of the original purposes of Grandparents’ Day.

In the 1970s, West Virginia housewife Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade proposed the day to educate others about the contributions of older adults and raise awareness of older nursing home residents. The senior citizen advocate urged people to adopt a grandparent, not just for a day, so that they can share their lifetimes of experience.

In 1979, President Jimmy Carter signed a law designating the first Sunday in September as National Grandparents’ Day. He proclaimed:

“Grandparents are our continuing tie to the near-past, to the events and beliefs and experiences that so strongly affect our lives and the world around us. Whether they are our own or surrogate grandparents who fill some of the gaps in our mobile society, our senior generation also provides our society a link to our national heritage and traditions.”

In the spirit from Grandparents’ Day, I hope you take a moment to reflect on the grandparents and surrogate grandparents in your life. Whether it's with a phone call, a handwritten note, or a simple gesture of kindness, let them know how much they are loved and appreciated.

And for those of us who have lost grandparents, remember them, cherish the memories made together, and carry their legacy forward in our lives.

All the best,

Jim