Grand Canyon Call to Courage: Sparking My Inner Brave When Locked in Fear
The Grand Canyon, a revered hiking destination. Nearly 6 million people visit the park every year. Many stick to the overlooks taking the trails along the rim. But I wanted the bucket list adventure, the rim-to-river hike going down the South Kaibab trail to the Colorado River and back up the Bright Angel trail. In a single day. It’s an endeavor the National Park Service does not recommend, as evident by the many warning signs. I was determined experience the dramatic beauty of the Colorado River and massive rock walls on the trail. But if I am honest, also for the challenge, the sheer difficulty of this steep, strenuous, desert hike. Most people are concerned about the endurance and fitness level required to complete the trek. I was pretty confident in my abilities. I’d trained seriously and knew I was prepared for the hours of knee-pounding going down to the sandy banks on the river and to really work for it on the massive climb from Indian Garden to the rim. Every year, the park rangers have to rescue those who get in over their heads. But I didn’t fear being one of these statistics.
But I was still dreading the hike. For most people, looking down and up the towering rock formations is thrilling. To me, it’s dizzying and terrifying. You see, I have fear of heights, which triggers vertigo. It’s a very cruel joke to love the mountains so much and be afraid of heights. They say we all have an innate fear of falling. My fear of heights is an evolutionary adaptation to the risks posed by falling in the natural world. But I am adapted to the extreme. When I look up or down huge empty spaces when walking close to cliff edges, I feel like I am literally swallowed by the empty space with the world spinning round and round. Even though I may not be in real danger, I experience increased panic, becoming a pillar of fear standing frozen to the spot. It doesn’t happen very often. But when it does, it is extremely unpleasant. And it happened two days before the Grand Canyon Great Adventure, on a prep hike in Death Valley. The plan was to do a moderate hike starting at Zabriskie Point to the Golden Canyon and save the uphill part to the end to simulate the Grand Canyon hike which ends in an uphill. It all went well until we reached a very narrow pass on the edge of a cliff to start the climb up. And vertigo hit me with full force. Fortunately, I know what to do: reduce my field of vision (much like blinders on horses), hang onto my husband’s backpack in front of me for dear life, and let him lead the way until I recover a sense of my own body and regain my bearings. The most important thing is to try and control the fear.
The Death Valley hike was successfully completed, but the fear was still overwhelming. I was still locked in fear two days later. What if it happened again when I actually hiked the huge, towering gorge? What the heck was I doing putting myself into a situation likely to trigger vertigo? But I wasn’t ready to give up on my dream. I am so lucky to have found a passion for nature and hiking, a way of life I love. I had no choice but to find a way to be brave, to muster the courage to do the thing that scared me the most. Here’s a secret about courage: it’s always there deep inside. But you need to be willing to access it and trust yourself to apply it in order to unlock the fear when danger seems imminent. To fear is human. Fear is natural. It is an instinctive reaction to a perceived threat. Courage, on the other hand, is a skill that needs to be cultivated. There is no other way to become courageous than by facing our fears. Courage and fear are often enmeshed emotions. When we feel fear is when we have the opportunity to courageously navigate the way through it and find out what we are made of. Simply stated, what we want is on the other side of fear. But what if you find yourself stuck, frozen in fear?
The five Rs to unfreeze and overcome fear: Recognize, Reframe, Release, Reach out, & Rock on.
1. Recognize the Voice of Fear & Discern False Evidence
It’s not easy to deal with fear head-on. It is helpful to learn how to recognize fear right away and to effectively “metabolize” it into upside potential, from risk to reward. It starts with quiet reflection to allow the brain to process enough information beyond the initial alert system triggering a false alarm. Ask yourself, “why am I experiencing this?” You realize soon enough that while the world is spinning, you are safe. But you may have to hold on to the railing, keep a firm grip and maintain your balance as best you can. When you feel out of balance, remember, it’s just a feeling. The best way to get unstuck is to take action, even a small step just to get going. Any movement is a move in the right direction.
2. Reframe your Mindset & Restore your Perspective
At this point you know you are facing a challenge. You’ve realized it will test you physically and mentally. Our emotions stem from our thoughts, which as we established may or may not be accurate. Check your thoughts. You have asked what triggers the situational mindset of fear. You had time to reflect on what pushed the “start” button on your emotional response. Now make the shift to a better response. Ask yourself, “what are effective ways to deal with this situation?” Change your perspective. You know you’ve prepared well and have useful tools and strategies gained through other life experiences. Create a plan of the things you can do to get unstuck and move forward.
3. Release Expectations & Engage with your Surroundings to Stay Grounded
Release your fears by focusing on your plan. When moving over narrow ledges with steep drops, focus your gaze on where you want to put your next step. Then take that step. Do that again. And again. And again. Until the magic happens, and you’ve made it through the challenge. In addition to releasing your fears through movement, be sure to release and replace your expectations. The Zen tradition offers the concept of “beginner’s mind.” Coming into the new experience with an empty cup, being ready to receive, to see what is directly in front of us without interjecting our ego, biases, and fears. When we attach to certain outcomes, we cannot connect to what’s happening in the moment. Plans can change fairly quickly. Allow yourself to fully engage with the newness of things to let things unfold naturally without getting in your own way.
4. Reach out and Ask for the Help You Need
On every journey, there’s always someone who will offer encouragement in a moment of doubt, someone who would offer support and extend a hand to pull you up if you trip and fall, and someone who might push you from behind when your backpack is stuck in a narrow rocky passage. Most people are generally willing to help, but you have to ask for it the right way. Don’t let pride and image get in the way. The right help at the right time can make all the difference. I am strong and daring. But I knew I would need help from the team on this one to show up and achieve my goal. I prepped the group by educating them about my problem and ways to keep myself and the group safe and on track. The truth is that when we courageously ask for help, we receive so much more than just help. We also gain new perspectives, ideas, and skills.
5. Rule your day with a warrior mindset & Rock on
Having fear is normal, what matters is how we deal with the discomfort. Overcoming fear is a war. If you want to win the war, you have to be a warrior. Level up your mindset to persist and persevere. Tap into your greatest motivation to combat your greatest challenge. It’s truly a question of commitment to your dreams. You don’t have to know all the steps and figure everything out from the get-go. Just start moving. Taking action will magically abate fear, and things will start falling into place. You achieve goals not by dreaming but by doing the work. Not all choices are easy. Some are very scary. But the only way forward is being proactive with your success strategies. There may be 100 reasons to not try, but you need to look for the one good reason to fight for what you truly want.
And so, I’ve completed another challenge on the bucket list. I got to stand along the top of the South Rim knowing that I have seen the Grand Canyon in all of its glory.