Grady Harp's Reviews > 50! THE LIFE, LOVES & PSYCHE OF A MALE MID-LIFE CRISIS: Volume 1 - The Journey

50!: "THE LIFE, LOVES & PSYCHE OF A MALE MID-LIFE CRISIS: Volume 1 - The Journey" by Cory Y. Standby

Grady's reviewNov 25, 2016 - 5 star - it was amazing

‘There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing’- Aristotle

One of the many delights of this book by ‘Cory Y Standby’ – a memoir about his life and lessons to this point of being – is that it is related as a second person story. British author Andy Caulfield makes his literary debut with this book using Cory Y Standby as a nom de plume and that is one of the reasons the book works so very well in communicating those aspects of making it to midlife – it is near reportage and thus credible and forgiving at once. And it is hindsight in bloom.

Or as ‘Cory’ explains in the Prologue, ‘The concept of writing this book has been swirling around the author’s head for years. The transition from random thoughts to some kind of outline structure and then actually committing to paper and recounting the tale itself makes an elephant’s gestation period seem like the blink of an eye by comparison. Although it is at the very least a semi-autobiographical tale, all real names have been changed in order to protect the innocent and especially the extremely guilty too. As the saying goes, ‘the truth will out’. Fortunately, the truth is (from a legal perspective) a defence. There is some poetic licence in the telling of the tales, but the facts are accurate and the incidents recounted are all real events which occurred. No doubt many will speculate as to who, what, when, where, and probably even why – but that’s all part of the fun, isn’t it? This is the story of life. It is about love and relationships; about the importance of family; about how real life and human emotions invariably mess each of these up. It looks at death, divorce and dating; losing loved ones; family feuds and other intertwined issues; grief and stress and how we seek to cope (or spectacularly fail to do so) with all that fate and fortune throws at us on our journey through life. It is a series of personal anecdotes intertwined with the author’s view of the world, both then as it happened and especially now he is older and hopefully much wiser. It is written with the benefit of hindsight. If he’d had such clarity and understanding at the time, much of it would never have happened. But he didn’t. As we all know: ‘To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid’ (Anonymous) The aim has been to strike a balance between the main themes and recurring messages of the book, alongside some kind of chronological overview of his life events, particularly his relationships with women. The purpose being to seek to explain why he did what he did; why he made the decisions he made and if possible, to understand and explain it all more clearly now, looking back with a more rounded view of the world. It is not intended to be hugely introspective or overly personal, but more a series of examples to show how, to paraphrase the saying, rarely does each element of your life go well at the same time. Many people endure far worse in life; he knows that he has been lucky.’

That is a sample of the manner of style of communication this book of significant quotations from a wide variety of people along with personal observations/confessions/lessons follows throughout. He divides his thoughts much as his life has been parceled: Childhood and Teenage Angst, Deaths and Births: Marriage and Divorce, Drinking and Dating: Secretaries and Strippers, Growing Older: The Penultimate Chapter?. But in the end we know that this confessional/memoiresque novel will continue as the title names it as Volume 1.

Very fine writing, filled with as much wit as angst, humor as hurt, and so often resulting in ‘Oh yes’ type responses form the reader. Read, reflect, laugh and learn from a man who knows how to communicate – even through a moniker!