FOR THE GRADUATE: ALL ENDINGS ARE RELATIVE
(The following document is an actual graduation ceremony keynote speech that I gave on Saturday, May the 18th, at American University in Washington, D. C. I include it here because so much of our lives, both personal and professional, are made-up of transitions. No matter what happens with Artificial Intelligence, global politics, and the increasing complexity of our lives, everyone will continue to face multiple transitions in their lives. We are in this together. If we face it together, maybe we can transform the management of our transitions and have a better chance of innovating where it has the greatest impact – in ourselves and in our relationships.)
In the interest of full disclosure, the model for thinking about transitions is not mine. It comes from William Bridges, a former Professor of English Literature, later organizational consultant. The citation is: Bridges, W. (2004). Transitions: Making sense of life’s changes (2nd ed.), Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press). If you want to know more of the details, I invite you to read his book.
I’ve adapted the outline of his key framework – Endings, Transitions, New Beginnings – for my purposes of presenting a different way of thinking about graduation. This is not a scholarly work, so I dispense with the formal stylistic requirements of an academic paper.)
GRADUATES, FAMILY, FACULTY, STAFF, ALUMNI, AND FRIENDS, WELCOME TO THE WEBSTER UNIVERSITY WASHINGTON D. C. REGIONAL GRADUATION CEREMONY, COMMEMORATING THE 10OTH ANIVERSARY OF WEBSTER UNIVERSITY’S FIRST GRADUATING CLASS, IN 1919.
MY NAME IS JEFF HALDEMAN. I AM A PROFESSOR OF MANAGEMENT AT WEBSTER’S ST. LOUIS CAMPUS AND THE PROGRAM LEAD FOR THE ORGANIZATIONAL DEVELOPMENT GRADUATE PROGRAM (ORDV). BILL TIPPIN AND ROSEMARY KELLEY AT HENDERSON HALL HAVE HELPED ME TO BUILD THE PROGRAM AND MODIFY IT TO MEET YOUR NEEDS HERE IN THE D. C. REGION.
I AM HONORED TO ADDRESS THE 2019 GRADUATE CLASS AND TO SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT WHAT IS ON MY HEART AND WHAT WILL HAVE THE MOST MEANING TO YOU.
MY TOPIC IS “HOW TO DEAL WITH TRANSITIONS IN OUR LIVES.” THIS IS A TOPIC THAT ALL OF US CAN RELATE TO. EVERYONE IN THIS AUDIENCE HAS GONE THROUGH THEM MULTIPLE TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF THEIR LIVES. IF THAT IS SO, WHY THEN AM I TALKING ABOUT A TOPIC THAT ALL OF US ARE FAIRLY FAMILIAR WITH? FIRST, WEBSTER’S GRADUATES TODAY ARE EXPERIENCING AN ENDING THAT IS PUNCTUATED BY A SPECIFIC EVENT; A FORMAL GRADUATION CEREMONY. GRADUATION FROM A DEGREE PROGRAM GIVES US A STRUCTURE TO THINK ABOUT THE PROCESS OF TRANSITION. IN THIS COUNTRY, AND GLOBALLY, IT IS THE FASHION TO SPEAK ABOUT TURBULENT, TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE AND ABOUT THE PERSONAL CHANGES THAT WE ALL EXPERIENCE AS WE ADJUST AND ADAPT TO EXTERNAL CHANGE.
IN THIS TALK, MY GOAL IS TO EXPAND OUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXTERNAL CHANGE AND PERSONAL TRANSITION. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WELL, EXTERNAL CHANGE IS NOT THE SAME AS PERSONAL TRANSITIONS. EXTERNAL CHANGE IS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS IN OUR LIVES WHICH AFFECTS US. IT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY US. FOR EXAMPLE, YOU MAY DECIDE TO MOVE TO THE WEST COAST TO TAKE A NEW JOB OR GO FOR YOUR PH. D. THE CHANGE WAS YOUR CHOICE. YOU MADE THE DECISION. YOU WERE THE ACTIVE AGENT. OTHER TIMES, CHANGES OCCUR IN OUR WORLD WHICH AFFECT US. FOR EXAMPLE, 9/11, THE 2007 GLOBAL RECESSION AND ITS AFTERMATH, AND THE TRADE WAR BETWEEN THE U. S. AND CHINA. WASHINGTON D. C. IS ONE OF THE EPICENTERS OF THESE CONVULSIVE EVENTS. YOU MAY HAVE BEEN PERSONALLY AFFECTED BY ANY OR ALL OF THESE CHANGES. OR MAYBE THE IMPACT FOR YOU HAS BEEN MINIMAL IN EACH CASE.
IF YOU WERE A PART OF WALL STREET IN 2007 OR WERE HENRY PAULSON AND HIS COLLEAGUES, YOU WERE IN THE THICK OF IT. WE MIGHT IMAGINE THAT CHANGE HIT YOU LIKE A TON OF BRICKS…THE SAME FOR THE LARGE BROKERAGE HOUSES THAT BECAME INSOLVENT AND HAD TO BE BAILED-OUT (OR NOT) BY THE U. S. GOVERNMENT.
IN 2007, I WAS FINISHING MY LAST YEAR AS CHAIR OF THE MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT IN THE WALKER SCHOOL OF BUSINESS & TECHNOLOGY. THE YEAR BEFORE, WE HAD JUST BEEN ACCREDITED BY THE HIGHER LEARNING COMMISSION AND ACBSP. ENROLLMENTS WERE UP, AND WEBSTER WAS FLOURISHING. I WAS HEAVILY INVOLVED IN PREPARING OUR DEPARTMENT AND SCHOOL FOR ACCREDITATION. THESE WERE THE TWO MAJOR CHANGES IN MY WORKLIFE AT THE TIME. ACTUALLY, THESE WERE BOTH FAIRLY PREDICTABLE CHANGES THAT ALL OF US AT WEBSTER WERE FAMILIAR WITH. THERE WAS A SEQUENCE AND A PROTOCOL. THIS WAS NOTHING LIKE APPROACHING “THE EDGE OF THE ECONOMIC CLIFF” THAT THE MEDIA WAS RAILING ABOUT, ALMOST SCREAMING ABOUT, IN 2007-2008.
STILL, WHEN EXTERNAL CHANGE OCCURS IN WAYS THAT SIGNIFICANTLY IMPACT US AS INDIVIDUALS, WE NEED TO BE AWARE THAT THIS CHANGE WILL FACILITATE A PROCESS OF TURNING INWARD THAT MIGHT BE CALLED “A PERSONAL TRANSITION.” THIS PROCESS IS A UNIQUE AND VERY PERSONAL THING THAT VARIES FROM INDIVIDUAL TO INDIVIDUAL. IT IS A PSYCHOSOCIAL PROCESS THAT OCCURS, PRIMARILY, IN OUR INNER LIVES, ALTHOUGH IT MAY OFTEN SHOW-UP IN OUR EXPRESSED THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS.
THERE ARE THREE ASPECTS OF THIS JOURNEY THAT MANY OF US WILL RECOGNIZE: THE TRANSITION PERIOD ALWAYS BEGIN WITH (1) AN ENDING, WHICH LEADS TO (2) THE TRANSITION PERIOD ITSELF, OUT OF WHICH EMERGES (3) A NEW BEGINNING. WE HAVE ALL EXPERIENCED MAJOR TRANSITIONS IN OUR LIVES TO A GREATER OR LESSER EXTENT. WE ALL GROW-UP, LEAVE HOME, GET JOBS OR CAREERS, OFTEN FIND MATES, HAVE OR ADOPT CHILDREN, AND STABILIZE UNTIL WE REACH OUR MID-LIFE CRISIS. AFTER THAT, THERE ARE A NUMBER OF TRANSITIONS WE HAVE YET TO EXPERIENCE BEFORE WE DIE. I WON’T GO INTO THEM HERE. THE POINT IS LIFE’S CHANGES HAVE INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL ELEMENTS TO THEM. IF WE ARE AWARE AND IN TOUCH WITH OURSELVES, WE MAY ALLOW OURSELVES TO EXPERIENCE THESE TRANSITIONS AT THE DEEPER LEVELS OF OUR PERSONALITIES. OTHER PEOPLE, SOMETIMES STEADIER AND NOT GIVEN TO STRONG EMOTIONS MAY GO THROUGH ALL THREE STEPS – ENDINGS, TRANSITIONS, AND NEW BEGINNINGS – WITH A LOT LESS STRUGGLE OR INNER TURMOIL. A PERSONAL CONFESSION: I TEND TO BE ONE OF THOSE IN THE “GIVEN TO EXTREMES” CAMP. I ENVY MY COMRADES WHO NAVIGATE THE SHOALS OF PERSONAL ADAPTATION AND TRANSFORMATION, WITH APLOMB AND GRACE. WHATEVER OUR UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, THOUGH, WE ALL UNDERGO PERSONAL TRANSITIONS, WE TURN INWARD, AND STRUGGLE WITH OUR ANGELS AND DEMONS. MANY OF US MAY GO TO COUNSELING, TALK WITH OUR PASTOR, RABBI, GURU, OR BEST FRIEND. (SOMETIMES OUR SPOUSES OR PARTNERS ARE NOT THE BEST ONES TO TURN TO WHEN WE ARE TOO OUT OF KILTER.)
WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS SIMPLE MODEL? IT HAS DIRECT RAMIFICATIONS FOR ALL OF US WHO ARE PART OF THE HIGHER EDUCATION COMMUNITY: EMPLOYERS WHO SOMETIMES FUND DEGREE PROGRAMS, GOVERNMENT AGENCIES AND THE MILITARY, WHO DO THE SAME, FAMILIES AND PARTNERS WHO SACRIFICE AND SUPPORT THE STUDENT THROUGH THEIR YEARS OF PREPARATION AND ACHIEVEMENT, TEACHING FACULTY AND ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU, THE MEMBERS OF THE CURRENT GRADUTING CLASS. IT MAY SURPRISE YOU THAT WE FACULTY AND STAFF GROW TO LOVE MANY OF OUR STUDENTS DURING THEIR TENURE WITH US. NOT IN A SCHMALTZY WAY, BUT IN A COMMITTED AND ENDURING WAY. WHEN THERE IS AN ENDING, LIKE TODAY, WE EXPERIENCE A LOSS, MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE GRIEF.
IN MOST CASES, UNLESS YOU ARE GOING ON FOR ANOTHER WEBSTER DEGREE, WE WON’T BE SEEING YOU AS OFTEN. YOU HAVE BEEN PART OF THE FABRIC, THE WARP AND WOOF OF OUR LIFE, AND WE WILL MISS YOU. (WHILE NOT SPEAKING FOR ANYONE ELSE, I FEEL SAFE IN SAYING THAT I KNOW SOME STAFF AND ADMINISTRATORS WHO FALL INTO THAT SAME CATEGORY.)
I KNOW MANY OF THESE STUDENTS CURRENTLY GRADUATING WITH THEIR M. A. DEGREES IN ORGANIZATIONAL DEVELOPMENT. I HAVE SEEN THEM ON VIDEO AND TALKED WITH THEM ON THE TELEPHONE. THEY HAVE SUSTAINED ONE ANOTHER THROUGH THEIR PROGRAM. NOW THE 2019 M. A. IN ORDV CLASS IS AT THE END OF THEIR JOURNEY. TODAY, IN A FORMAL WAY, THIS IS THE END.
YET THERE IS ANOTHER INNER STORY FOR EACH OF THEM – AND FOR ALL CURRENT GRADUATES IN THIS ROOM. IT HAS A DIFFERENT TRAJECTORY. SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE EXPERIENCED YOUR ENDING AND BEGUN TO DISENGAGE FROM WEBSTER SEVERAL MONTHS AGO. OTHERS MAY HAVE HAD SUCH AN ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCE THAT YOU ARE STILL RELUCTANT TO GO! YOU DON’T WANT THE PARTY TO BE OVER! YOU’LL MISS YOUR CLASSMETES TOO MUCH – UNLESS YOU MAKE A WEEKLY APPOINTMENT TO MEET FOR COFFEE. YOU FEEL THERE IS MORE TO BE GAINED BY ONGOING RELATIONSHIPS WITH SPECIFIC FACULTY. SO, THERE WILL HAVE BEEN THIS ENDING, TODAY, BUT LESS OF A TRUE ENDING FOR YOU.
WHAT ENDINGS OFTEN MEAN IS THAT THE INDIVIDUALS DISENGAGE FROM THE RELATIONSHIPS, TASKS, HABITS, PATTERNS THAT WERE PART OF THEIR WEBSTER EXPERIENCE AND THEY ENTER WHAT IS CALLED THE “NEUTRAL ZONE” (BRIDGES). THIS IS A PERIOD OF STRESS AND CONFUSION THAT WILL OFTEN ACCOMPANY THE ENDING OF A SIGNIFICANT PERSONAL INVESTMENT. THE MORE ASPECTS OF ONE’S LIFE TIED INTO THE PARTICULAR INVESTMENT, THE MORE TEMPORARY DISTRESS IN THIS TRANSITIONAL PHASE. THE NEUTRAL ZONE IS ONLY NEUTRAL BECAUSE YOU ARE IN BETWEEN MAJOR AND SIGNIFICANT INVESTMENTS. IN A LOT OF WAYS, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF OR WHO YOU REALLY ARE. THE MORE OTHER IDENTITY MARKERS IN YOUR LIFE REMAIN STABLE, THE LESS STRESSFUL THE NEUTRAL ZONE MIGHT BE. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU REMAIN AT THE SAME JOB, CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THE SAME AREA, REMAIN WITH THE SAME PARTNER, THAT WILL ALLOW THE WEBSTER ENDING TO TAKE HOLD AND PROVIDE ASSIMILATION TIME FOR YOU TO RECEIVE THE FULL IMPACT OF YOUR DEGREE EXPERIENCE. IF, INSTEAD, IF YOU ACCEPT A NEW JOB IN HAWAII, GET A DIVORCE, AND CONVERT FROM CATHOLIC TO QUAKER, YOU CAN PROBABLY COUNT ON A SUSTAINED TRANSITION PERIOD IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE. “IF YOU WISH, PUT 3-4 EMOJIS BEHIND THAT STATEMENT.”
ALTHOUGH I’M NOT ONE TO GIVE ADVICE, UNLESS I’M ASKED FOR IT (NOT TRUE. I AM ONE TO GIVE ADVICE, EVEN WHEN I’M NOT ASKED FOR IT., I’M A PROFESSOR, CHANGE CONSULTANT, PROGRAM INNOVATOR, AND NOW A SPEAKER.) I AM GOING TO TELL YOU SEVERAL SHORT PERSONAL STORIES; BOTH RELATED TO HIGHER EDUCATION DEGREES AND BOTH RELEVANT TO YOUR EXPERIENCE:
I PERSONALLY HAVEN’T ALWAYS DONE WELL WITH ENDINGS IN HIGHER ED. AT THE MASTER’S LEVEL I WAS STUDYING FOR MY M. S. IN COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGY – THIS WAS DECADES AGO, BACK WHEN FREUD AND ALBERT ELLIS WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAN NEUROSCIENCE. MOST OF THE PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATIONS BEFORE PROZAC WERE CRUDE. WHEN I REFLECT ON MY EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCES, I CAN SEE THAT I RESIST ENDINGS. EVEN AT THE INDIVIDUAL COURSE LEVEL, I DIDN’T WANT TO LET GO OF INDIVIDUAL COURSES, SO I TOOK MANY INCOMPLETES. THERE WERE SEVERAL REASONS FOR THIS. I WAS PRETTY COMMITTED TO GAINING PRACTICAL COUNSELING EXPERIENCE IN INTERNSHIPS AND EVEN A TWO YEAR LONG FULL-TIME JOB AT THE UNION COUNTY MENTAL HEALTH CENTER IN ANNA, ILLINOIS. I COULDN’T FIND A GOOD JOB IN CHICAGO, WHERE I HAD GONE TO SCHOOL, SO I WENT AFTER ONE OF THE JOBS WHICH FINALLY BECAME AVAILABLE. MY MASTER’S THESIS WAS ON “THE EXPERIENCE OF LOSS AND GAIN”. I HAD INTERVIEWED PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE AND ALL AGES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS COMMON AND WHAT MIGHT VARY. AT THIS POINT, THOUGH, WITH MY COURSE WORK COMPLETE, MY INTENTION WAS TO GET AHEAD. I WANTED TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY. AT THE SAME TIME, I HADN’T YET COMPLETED MY THESIS. WHAT TO DO?
WHAT I DID, PREMATURELY I THINK NOW, WAS TO CREATE A NEW BEGINNING FOR MYSELF WHILE REMAINING PSYCHOLOGICALLY TIED TO THE PAST UNTIL MY THESIS WAS COMPLETE. FORTUNATELY, I HAD PATIENT PROFESSORS AND MY CLINICAL WORK EXPERIENCE ENERGIZED ME. SO IT TOOK ME LESS THAN A YEAR TO COMPLETE THE “UNFINISHED BUSINESS”. WITH THIS ENDING, I WAS ONCE AGAIN IN TRANSITION AS I BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT GETTING MY PH. D. (AN OLD DREAM OF MINE AND A POTENTIAL OTHER NEW BEGINNING.)
WHEN STUDYING FOR MY PH. D. IN ORGANIZATIONAL BEHAVIOR/DEVELOPMENT, I DID A VARIATION OF THE SAME PROLONGED ENDING. ALL THE HIGH-QUALITY ACADEMIC COURSE WORK IN THE WORLD DID NOT DO IT FOR ME, UNTIL I COULD APPLY IT. ALSO, I STILL NEEDED TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY, WHICH NOW INCLUDED TWIN BOYS. I LOVED THE FIRST TWO YEARS OF COURSE WORK AND A FULL TIME JOB WITH THE DENTAL SCHOOL. YET I STILL YEARNED FOR PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE WHERE I COULD LEARN HOW TO APPLY THE MODELS. IF I STUDIED TEAM DYNAMICS, I WANTED TO DO TEAM BUILDING AT UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL IN CLEVELAND. IF I WAS READING ABOUT ORGANIZATION DESIGN, I WANTED TO GO WITH FULL-TIME FACULTY TO HELP REDESIGN AN ARMY UNIT IN HEIDELBERG, GERMANY. (I DID BOTH THOSE THINGS.) WHEN I WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW ORGANIZATIONAL CLIMATE IMPACTED JOB SATISFACTION AND PERSONAL FEELINGS ABOUT ONE’S SELF, I JOINED A CONSULTING PROJECT WITH A LARGE UTILITY SUPPLIER EXPERIENCING A HIGH TURNOVER RATE IN ITS MARKETING DEPARTMENT. I EVEN TOOK TWO FULL-TIME JOBS AS AN INTERNAL CHANGE CONSULTANT WHILE MY DISSERTATION REMAINED UNDONE. AGAIN, YOU MIGHT SAY I HAD TROUBLE WITH ENDINGS. ANOTHER WAY TO LOOK AT IT IS THAT I NEEDED MORE PRACTICAL EXPERIENENCE BEFORE I FELT LIKE I COULD FULLY INTEGRATE THE COMPETENCIES AND SKILL-SETS INCLUDED IN THE DEGREE (THIS WAS BEFORE THE DAYS OF PART-TIME DOCTORATES.) BASED UPON WHAT I KNOW OF WEBSTER GRADUATE STUDENTS, WHO DO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS AT ONCE, I DARE SAY THAT MANY OF YOU MIGHT FILL THIS SAME MOLD. TO BRING THIS EDUCATIONAL INVESTMENT TO COMPLETION, I FINALLY WORKED WITH A COMMITTED ADVISOR TO WRITE MY DISSERTATION IN A LITTLE LESS THAN A YEAR. I WORKED ON IT NIGHTS WHILE I WAS WORKING FULL-TIME AT A LARGE ENGINE PLANT IN WESTERN NEW YORK STATE. THE DISSERTATION WAS ENTITLED, “THE PRIMACY OF CONTEXT IN PERCEPTIONS OF WORK AND SELF.” MY CONTEXT HAD CHANGED SIX TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF SIX YEARS. I WAS CONSTANTLY THROWING MYSELF INTO A NO-MAN’S LAND WHERE I WAS BETWEEN PROJECTS. THE ONE POINT OF CONSTANCY WAS THE PH. D. PROGRAM ITSELF.
ONCE I GRADUATED AND STOOD-UP ON THE STAGE TO RECEIVE MY PH. D., IT SEEMS LIKE THOSE SIX YEARS CAME CRASHING DOWN AROUND ME TO MARK THE END OF A TRANSITIONAL PHASE OF STURM UND DRANG. SUDDENLY, IT SEEMED ALMOST AS IF BY MAGIC, I WAS DONE! I ALMOST IMMEDIATELY BECAME DEPRESSED. SINCE THIS WAS AN ENDING, WHY DIDN’T I FEEL A SENSE OF COMPLETION?
LATER ON, AS I REFLECTED ON THE PH. D. EXPERIENCE, I BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE DEPRESSION HAD LESS TO DO WITH THE CONTENT OF THE PH. D. AND MORE TO DO WITH THE DEGREE’S MEANING FOR ME. GOING BACK IN TIME, I HAD ALWAYS WANTED A PH. D. SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. OVER THE YEARS IT HAD COME TO MEAN A RITE OF PASSAGE THAT I HAD ARRIVED IN THIS WORLD! I WAS NOW SUCCESSFUL! I HAD EARNED THE RIGHT TO A SMOOTH-SAILING LIFE AS AN ADULT! THIS WAS A DISTORTION OF REALITY AND MORE ABOUT WHAT HAD BEEN IN MY OWN HEAD. I HAD EXPECTED MAGIC, SOMEHOW, AND HAD BEEN HANDED AN ACADEMIC DEGREE.
THE GAP WAS TOO LARGE AND I GOT DEPRESSED. I GOT OVER IT, OF COURSE, BUT IT TOOK SIX YEARS TO FULLY FIND MY WAY TO A NEW BEGINNING THAT SATISFIED MY NEEDS, A CONSULTING PRACTICE ON THE WEST COAST!
IN THE MEANTIME, I EXPERIENCED VARIOUS FORMS OF TRANSITION AND MY OWN CUSTOMIZED VERSION OF THE NEUTRAL ZONE. FAST FORWARD TO THE WORLD TODAY - YOUR WORLD - I CAN SEE THAT MY STORY IS FAIRLY COMMONPLACE.
MY ADVICE TO YOU GRADUATES: REMEMBER, THIS IS AN ENDING TODAY. YOU MAY GO THROUGH A TRANSITION PHASE THAT COULD TAKE YOU FAR AFIELD FROM YOUR COURSE WORK BEFORE A NEW BEGINNING EMERGES. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU MAY FIND AND ACCEPT A JOB YOU LOVE, TOMORROW! MAKING SENSE OF TRANSITIONS IS AN INTENSELY PERSONAL THING. YOUR BEST FRIEND AT WEBSTER MIGHT HAVE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE FROM YOU.
SOME ADDITIONAL REFLECTIONS:
YOU ARE GRADUATING FROM WEBSTER UNIVERSITY AT A PARTICULAR POINT IN ITS HISTORY. HIGHER EDUCATION IS EXPERIENCING DISRUPTIVE CHANGE. AUSTERITY AND COST-CUTTING IS IN THE AIR. YOUR GRADUATION IS ALSO OCCURRING AT A SPECIFIC POINT IN YOUR OWN PERSONAL HISTORY. DEPENDING ON YOUR PARTICULAR DEMOGRAPHIC, YOU MAY EXPERIENCE THE WORLD DIFFERENTLY. IF YOU ARE JUST RETIRING FROM THE MILITARY AND JUMPING-OFF FROM HERE TO A NEW CAREER, YOUR TRANSITION MIGHT BE ROCKIER THAN SOME OTHERS [NOTICE I SAID MIGHT]. THE ROCKINESS WILL HAVE AS MUCH TO DO WITH YOUR SENSE OF PERSONAL IDENTITY – “WHO AM I”? – AS IT WILL WITH THE EVENTUAL CAREER YOU END-UP IN. YOUR MILITARY IDENTITY HAS ENDED IN A CERTAIN SENSE WHEN YOU RETIRED. IN ANOTHER SENSE, IT MIGHT CONTINUE TO SHAPE AND INFORM YOUR VIEW OF YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO FROM HERE. MEANING IS EVERYTHING!
THE WORK OF THE NEUTRAL ZONE - SOMETIMES CALLED NO-MAN’S LAND, THE PLACE WHERE THE OLD YOU HAS BEEN UPROOTED AND THE NEW YOU HAS NOT YET FULLY EMERGED – IS TO ACTUALLY “LET-GO” OF AN OLD IDEA, ASSUMPTION, SELF-IMAGE, OR DREAM. YOU CAN’T POUR NEW WINE INTO A WINESKIN UNTIL THE OLD WINE IS GONE. WHILE YOU WERE ATTENDING UNIVERSITY, YOU HAD THE IDENTITY OF AN ADULT STUDENT AND HAD THE TRANSFORMATIVE EXPERIENCES AND ENDING THAT WAS YOUR WEBSTER EDUCATION. THIS WILL CONTINUE TO INFORM YOUR DEVELOPMENT AND SHAPE YOUR NEW IDENTITY AS A NEW PROFESSIONAL IN A SPECIFIC FIELD OF DISCIPLINE. FOR THAT TO HAPPEN, YOU WILL NEED TO GIVE-UP MUCH OF THE IDENTITY OF STUDENT. TODAY IT ENDS. TODAY YOU BEGIN TO MORPH INTO THE NEWLY ACCOMPLISHED PROFESSIONAL YOU WILL BECOME.
CONSIDER: THE MORE EXTERNAL CHANGES UP-END YOUR CURRENT IDENTITY, THE MORE POTENTIAL FOR A STRUNG-OUT NEUTRAL ZONE,AND A STRESSFUL PROCESS OF PERSONAL CHANGE AND TRANSFORMATION.[REMEMBER HUMPTY-DUMPTY WHO HAD SAT ON A WALL MOST OF HIS LIFE, AND THEN FELL-OFF? ALL THE KING’S HORSE’S AND ALL THE KING’S MEN COULDN’T PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER. HIS OLD LIFE HAD ENDED AND HE WAS IN TRANSITION FOR AWHILE. HE HAD A GREAT FALL AND HE CAME A PART. HE NEEDED MENDING. THIS WAS BEFORE PSYCHOTHERAPY.]
GRADUATION IS YOUR WEBSTER ENDING AND YOU WILL BECOME ALUMNI, IMMEDIATELY. HOW YOU FIND MEANING IN THIS NEW IDENTITY WILL DIFFER FOR EACH OF YOU? ONE QUESTION WILL BE: HOW MUCH DO I CURRENTLY IDENTIFY WITH MY ALMA MATER AND HOW MUCH DO I WANT TO CONTINUE TO BE A PART OF IT? THIS IS ALSO A PART OF THE TRANSITION/NEUTRAL PERIOD. YOU MAY NOT HAVE THE ANSWER UNTIL YOU HAVE GOTTEN SOME DISTANCE FROM WEBSTER AND BEGUN TO SHAPE A NEW BEGINNING FOR YOURSELF. OTHERS WILL WANT TO JOIN THE ALUMNI ASSOCIATION TOMORROW!
NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE IDENTIFY WITH YOU AND CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS AND ACHIEVEMENT WITH SOLEMNITY AND JOY – WE ALL DO THAT AND MEAN IT – THERE IS STILL A PART OF YOU THAT WILL RESIST UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN PARTICULAR STYLE OF ENDINGS, AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. IF YOU ARE IN THE HABIT OF AVOIDING ENDINGS, YOU WILL PROBABLY FIND A WAY TO DO THAT HERE, CAP AND GOWN AND DEGREE BESTOWAL ASIDE. IF YOU ARE IN THE HABIT OF JUMPING TO THE NEXT NEW THING, YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF DAY-DREAMING ABOUT YOUR PROMOTION OR YOUR UPCOMING ENROLLMENT IN A PH. D. PROGRAM. AS HUMAN BEINGS, WE WILL MAINTAIN EXISTING HABITS UNLESS THERE IS A MAJOR DISRUPTION THAT CAUSES US TO RISK A LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN.
IN MY UNIQUE ROLE TODAY, I AM ADVISING YOU TO TAKE YOUR TIME AND SEE WHERE YOUR INTERNAL PROCESS BEGINS TO TAKE YOU BEFORE YOU TAKE ANY DRASTIC ACTION TO PRECIPITATE ANOTHER MAJOR NEW BEGINNING. THIS IS TIME WELL WORTH SPENDING. (I OF COURSE REALIZE THAT IF YOU ARE IN THE HABIT OF NOT WAITING, YOU PROBABLY WON’T WAIT NOW. ?????? [SEE THREE HAPPY CLOWN EMOJIS] IT’S JUST A THOUGHT.
REMEMBER, THAT ALL OF US CARRY AROUND SOME FALSE BELIEFS IN OUR HEAD. IF YOU TRULY WANT TO TAKE THIS GRADUATION AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO TRANSFORM - NOT JUST CHANGE SITUATIONS OR TAKE ANOTHER JOB - I RECOMMEND REVIEWING YOUR CURRENT VALUES AND BELIEFS. YOU MAY ALREADY HAVE UPDATED SOME OF THEM DUE TO YOUR WEBSTER EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCE. I PERSONALLY USED TO BE VERY DRIVEN BY ACHIEVEMENT AND PROFESSIONAL GOALS. THE LAST TIME I TOOK A VALUES INSTRUMENT AFTER FOUR YEARS OF RUNNING THE MA & GRADUATE CERTIFICATE PROGRAM AT WEBSTER, I DISCOVERED THAT MY VALUES WERE MUCH LESS MATERIAL AND EXTERNALLY ORIENTED. I NOW VALUE SPIRITUALITY AND STABILITY MORE THAN CONTINOUS CHANGE. I MEAN, CHANGE HAPPENS, I’LL DEAL WITH IT. IT’S MORE IMPORTANT THAT I KNOW WHERE MY ANCHOR LIES. I SUGGEST THE SAME FOR YOU. YOU MAY BE QUITE FOCUSED ON CAREER SUCCESS OR SOMETHING SIMILAR. I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO KEEP SOMETHING FOR YOUR INNER SELF.
THE WORLD IS FULL OF FALSE GODS WHO WILL LET YOU DOWN, IF YOU LET THEM. ONE GOOD BEGINNING IS NOT TO BELIEVE QUITE AS STRONGLY IN THEM. DON’T LET THEM DEFINE YOU! IT IS YOUR INNER INTEGRITY AND CHARACTER THAT DEFINES WHAT IS MOST REAL ABOUT YOU.
I'LL STOP NOW BY MAKING A SUMMARY STATEMENT, CONGRATULATING YOU, AND SPEEDING YOU ON YOUR WAY. HERE IS MY BEST SHOT:
GRADUATION FROM THE D. C. REGIONAL BRANCH OF WEBSTER UNIVERSITY IS A MAJOR CHANGE IN ITS OWN RIGHT! EXHILARATING, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ACHIEVED A MAJOR GOAL AND A TRIGGER FOR THE INNER PSYCHOLOGICAL WORK THAT INEVITABLY FOLLOWS ALL SUCH ENDINGS. ENDINGS ARE THE FIRST ACT OF THE PLAY. TRANSITION AND NEW BEGINNINGS FOLLOW. MAY YOUR LIVES BE A SERIES OF UNENDING ACTS IN THE PLAYS OF YOUR CHOICE.
CONGRATULATIONS, GRADUATES OF THE WEBSTER UNIVERSITY CLASS OF 2019!