Graduation Reflections

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My son graduates from high school this weekend. He leaves for Texas A&M University in a few months, which has me reflecting on the big ideas I want to reinforce with him before he leaves the nest.?

It's also Memorial Day Weekend in the U.S. Memorial Day is the holiday for honoring America's military men and women who lost their lives in service to our country. I'll be honoring personal friends, like Stephen Reich and Jimmy Adamouski. When I reflect on Graduation Day and Memorial Day, there's one shared idea that I want to make sure my son learns.

Life is a team sport. The knowledge you gain from school will quickly become obsolete. (Most of it was already obsolete when it was taught, but I digress!) The skills you gain from your work experience after graduation day will also become less valuable as the world changes. What remains are relationships. When you are surrounded by a strong support group of people, you are more resilient and adaptive.

"Here's a not-so-dirty secret of super-successful people. The smartest, most accomplished people I know are the most avid builders of their own support group and the most reliant on their group for help (and they're not shy about admitting it)." - The Earned Life, Marshall Goldsmith

"Inspiration to Serve" is a formative experience that prepares West Point sophomores - "Yearlings" - for their decision to enter the profession of arms. Cadets spend the day at the West Point cemetery, hearing personalized stories of West Point graduates who died in support and defense of our country. A few years ago, I accompanied a group of cadets as they listened to these incredibly inspiring (and devastatingly sad) stories. One of those stories, in particular, is burned into my memory as a powerful example of support groups.

• Search YouTube: "Inspiration to Serve: Honoring the Legacy of the Long Gray Line"
• Search YouTube: "FSN Feature on MAJ Stephen Reich"

One of the presenters was a widow of one of the last American soldiers killed in the Vietnam War. He was a helicopter pilot. They got married near the end of his helicopter training and, almost immediately after their wedding, he deployed to Vietnam. He never returned home. While that story is tragic, the bigger story she wanted to share with those cadets was the story of her life in the decades since that tragedy.

Several of her husbands' West Point classmates joined her in the cemetery that day. She shared how they rallied to support her and have treated her like their own family for decades since that tragedy. Those classmates then shared how important it was for them to honor the memory of their fallen classmate by supporting his widow and welcoming her as an honorary member of their class. They wanted the cadets to know that the profession of arms is not just a commitment to serve their country, but a lifelong commitment to serve each other.

We cannot know what knowledge and skills we will need 5+ years from now. We know three things for sure: (1) Life will be different in ways that you cannot anticipate; and (2) You will need a support group; and (3) Others will need you to support them.

What I want my son to know as he leaves for college is that his #1 priority during his college years (and beyond) is to build and nurture his own support group. Finding A+ friends and being an A+ friend will be more important than earning A+ grades in academics.

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