Graduation Day

Son, I wanted to record this landmark day in your progress through life. Unlike many of the celebrations we have been through together, today marks your transition into manhood – whatever that means.?

Becoming a dad is like getting on a rollercoaster traversing the highs and lows of all human emotions. Every new ‘episode’ in your journey has filled me with excitement, pride and fear – you will never appreciate the feeling until you stand in these shoes. One thing at least is certain from what I have seen so far, you will face down future challenges in your own inimitable way.??

When you were very young, I would sit outside your bedroom door listening to you breathe (to be honest checking that you were still breathing). Coming home late from work, I would often fall asleep on your bedroom floor holding your hand. And though I may tease you about the endless crying, you faced each of your life’s-challenges with fortitude.

I held back tears on the first day of each school year. It broke my heart to leave you in the care of others – though I am grateful that your mother made me attend these events (not ‘the done thing’ in my day) and that she recorded so many of your ‘firsts’ on camera. Young lives are so full of firsts, first swim, first time on a team, first girlfriend. Each event mile-stoning your steady progress and providing another opportunity for your parents’ hearts to swell with pride.

I don’t know whether you remember the time you were the only Harlequin to show up at a rugby training camp and you held your own in freezing weather – the opposing teams gave you a round of applause for your bravery (emotional overdrive). I am still in awe of the ease with which you can stand on stage and entertain crowds. I was also struck dumb by your Head Boy’s speech. Not everyone can share a platform with a Lord of the realm and out-perform him. You have succeeded at so much already.?

You entered university no longer a boy, but a young man. The countdown had begun. Your mother and I have watched your progress in amazement. And today, Graduation Day is upon us and you are getting the recognition you deserve for all your hard work. I will remind your that universities do not give away firsts lightly – be proud of your achievement. No one will ever be able to take that away from you. Your science will always serve you well wherever you end up. It will help you make sense of this crazy mixed up world.

There are few gifts we can give you that you haven’t already given yourself through your hard work, creativity and determination. So, today, son, I give you the gift of freedom. From today, you are free to be your unique self, to explore, to learn, to make your own mistakes and, inevitably, to fail. I promise to cheer for you as you learn and grow, always. You are free to fall and to rise. To love deeply (sorry if this is starting to sound a bit like ‘Sunscreen’). You are free to make your own choices. And every single step of the way, be sure that we will always support and love you. We will be there for you. Always. And with this freedom, no matter what you do, where you go, who you love: You will always be in our hearts. Where ever you are your home is still here.

You also have my time – I realise that I have already wasted too much of it on superfluous clap-trap, rather than spending it with you. I realise that you will need less of this as you spread your wings, but I am always here (ready and waiting). Your mother says that I don’t tell you enough how proud I am of you – so, if your ego ever needs boosting, don’t ever forget that I am the founding member of the Jack Hardman Appreciation Society. That said, I am not putting my red pen away. I will always be the one person who speaks the truth to you. Never for the sake of finding fault but rather to help you achieve your best self. I believe in you – I always have and always will.?

Finally, you also have my unconditional love. There will be no strings attached. There is nothing you could possibly do that could separate my love from you. You, will never disappoint me (though I will struggle if you decide to vote Conservative). You are the greatest gift that life has been kind enough to bless me with (not detracting from your brothers and mother – also my greatest gift). And although you will most likely not see me cry today (I will be biting my lip and you will be rightly distracted and ‘in the moment’), rest assured there are tears, they are full of life, joy, memories. Most importantly, my tears will be of anticipation of the journey that is ahead for you. Your life has a purpose. You will do great things.

Happy graduation, son.

Your biggest fan,

Dad (and Mum)

Tim Hardman?is Managing Director of?Niche Science & Technology Ltd., a bespoke services CRO based in the UK. He is also Chairman of the?Association of Human Pharmacology in the Pharmaceutical Industry, President of the?European Federation for Exploratory Medicines Development?and an occasional commentator on science, business and the process of drug development.