Grace

I will be the first to admit that I have a hard time paying attention in church. This morning, Matt was speaking on grace. His challenge for this week was to spend 3 days focusing on giving grace and 3 days focusing on receiving grace.?

This has been something that I have been practicing on for the last several years. Some days it comes easily, other days, it doesn’t come at all.

Now, before you stop reading this, if you’re not the religious type, it’s okay, this isn’t about converting anyone or forcing my beliefs; this is about being and becoming a better person, which, I’m sure we can all agree, is always a good move.?

One of the examples Matt used this morning was talking about food-service workers. Admittedly, I was in the bathroom for some of the example, but it still got me thinking.?

This last weekend, I took my family on a trip with my dad. A few minutes ago, I realized that this was the first one ever. We’ve done trips with both of my parents. We’ve done trips with just my mom. But never with just my dad. Somehow, that feels like a shortcoming, however, in the spirit of grace, I won’t dwell on it.?

Aside from the sheer exhaustion, it may go down in the books as my favorite trip with my dad, ever (and, let me tell you, we’ve had some doozies). Growing up, and in my adult life, I’ve had some great times with him, but this time, I hope, will forever stand out.?

We spent Friday night fishing (it was Jonathan’s first time really getting to fish and probably Haley’s first time since she was a child). We caught nearly 90 fish which was more than half our limit.

What does any of this have to do with grace? Good question. Let me back up a few days:

Earlier in the week, I had texted my dad to ask if we could bring our dog, Molly (or “Moodles” if you’re familiar). He gave us the okay and we all packed into the car to head down to the lake.

When we got there, we had just a few minutes to drop our bags and put Molly in our room before we had to go on our fishing charter.?

Upon our return, we discovered that Molly had tried to eat her way out of the room by way of the wall. At first, I thought it was a huge mess, I was mortified, and I was a bit ashamed that the dog I had said was well-behaved did some damage.

When we opened the door to let Molly out, she immediately knew she was in trouble and bolted to go hide under the kitchen table.?

In a previous life, I would have been furious. However, I was able to completely bypass the anger stage and dive straight into understanding.?

Now, I have recently taken to calling myself Molly’s emotional support human. She’s very sensitive and has abandonment issues if we don’t give her all the attention (I don’t mind, by the way). All she knew was that she was in a new place and we just dumped her off. She had no idea what was going on, panicked, and did the only thing she knew how to do.?

We picked up the mess and I worked to calm her down. It was an opportunity to show grace.

Shortly after that, I loaded her and Jonathan into my car so we could go to the fish-cleaning station and get photos with our haul.

I decided that it wouldn’t do to postpone the inevitable and went ahead and told my dad that my perfect little labrador angel had chewed a new door into his lake house (it really wasn’t that bad; it just felt like it at the time).?

So, I told him and his response was, “well, I guess we didn’t think that through very well, dropping her off in a strange place.” It was an opportunity to receive grace.

That was virtually the end of it. No confrontation. No anger. Just grace.

Thinking about this morning, it was no coincidence that the events at the lake and the message this morning were in such close chronology.?

By the way, when we woke up the next morning, the hole in the wall was about a quarter as big as I remembered it, so there’s also a lesson in reacting in a panic versus taking time to respond. When the smoke clears, things might not be as bad as you remember, but, if they are, you will be in a better head space to deal with it.?

So, how are some ways we can show grace?

For me, I get annoyed pretty easily, and I have to take a step back and cool off a bit. The best constant exercise in grace, for me, is, as Matt spoke about, dealing with food service. This isn’t a humble brag (at least it’s not meant to be), but, I always try to tip better than the recommended 20%. If the service is good, they get extra. If the service is less than ideal, they get even more extra. For one thing, we have no idea how horrible their day has been, or what their circumstances are.?

When the service isn’t great, that’s when the exercise in grace puts me to work.?

Accepting grace is the harder practice. I don’t like to be wrong, but it still happens (don’t tell Jacob).

When it happens, admitting it is hard because having to accept how I could be treated is a variable I don’t trust.?

I almost feel like it’s the scene in Braveheart after William’s wife is murdered by the English and, at her burial, he kneels before her father in submission, without regard for consequence. It’s a scary place to be.

The other side of receiving grace that is difficult for me is that it feels like a slippery slope. If I receive grace, will it be easier to screw up the next time?

It’s a false narrative, but it still exists. What I have found is that, in receiving grace, it motivates me to do better. It also makes extending grace easier.

With all of that, I feel like we could all use an exercise in grace: giving and receiving. If we can, the world has no choice but to become a better place.